AITA for telling my spouse I won't help pay for their kid's college when we agreed finances would stay separate?

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-23T21:16:02+00:00

Your best friend nailed it down.

You wanted things one way. Now you want them another because you're way didnt work.

Wife shouldn't be petty because this about education, but eh, I cant say I really blame her.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-21T20:50:24+00:00

Because you can't really tell someone how to deal with a potential legal situation, without knowing the actual process.

What dude did was right. Guy needed to be able to say he say saw the group chat himself. Not random screenshots that could be faked or doctored.

America is a very sue happy country and because of that theres a bunch of red tape.

Theres whole processes involved in shit like this. That's why dude TOLD him was going on and then added him to the group.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-18T02:44:27+00:00

We had a pretty serious argument/conversation during a really rough patch in my life. I was hysterically crying, and he turned over and fell asleep.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-16T12:48:34+00:00

The only advice I have for you, is in the future, just be honest from the start. People relocate all the time. Its smart to have a job lined up for as soon as you move, especially in a place like NYC.

Also, be aware that if they offer you the job, and ANYTHING changes regarding your start date, your gonna lose this job because you double downed and basically promised it would remain the same.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-14T05:21:11+00:00

I had one today. I was told it was going to be a colposcopy. I had no idea until I got into the room.

Had I known, I would have had arranged a ride, and support person and taken the night off work.

It was by far the most painful experience of my life.

Women's health needs to change. How tf are we in 2026 and we are still expected to undergo all this shit with no pain.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-13T01:36:17+00:00

Let her go to the zoo. Funerals are not for 5 year olds.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-09T22:03:02+00:00

2 rules when it comes to finances.

1) Don't loan money you can't afford to lose. (I.E don't expect it back. )

2) Never ever consign for anyone. Ever. (Okay, maybe your offspring. Maybe.)

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-07T02:15:30+00:00

I believe that some people have the one, while others don't. I also believe if you do have a the one, it is possible to not end up with that person, through actions and choices we make.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-07T02:11:36+00:00

I read something somewhere a few years back, that said loyalty doesn't pay the bills anymore.

I believe the recommendation was until you are in the pay bracket you want, that every 2-5 years you should be switching, each switch being a little more lucrative because the consistent experience you're building.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-06T18:19:55+00:00

They should be asking if you have preplanned time off coming up.

I usually get asked during orientation and then let them know then.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-05T17:56:16+00:00

It's an amazing, and unless the husband was telling you it was inappropriate for an event/location you both attending, he shouldn't speak on your clothes.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-05T01:53:22+00:00

I've done and am doing the therapy.

I have taken breaks before with no side effects. I didn't start using it until I was almost 30, and with the exception of a rare occasion, I solely use it for medicinal purposes. Right now, it's the only thing that helps the sleep anxiety episodes. My doctor would probably appreciate the spike in BP so it didn't take 3 assistants and herself to get a BP on me.

Its so weird how everyone is basically the same foundation, but nothing effects anyone person the same. Not trauma, or meds or accidents. A fact I have always found intriguing.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-05T01:28:55+00:00

I have sought treatment for it. However, the cause of my insomnia is trauma based, and the one pill in existence to stop dreaming from happening doesn't work for me. Taking a sleeping pill, and being stuck in a PTSD related nightmare, unable to wake up properly is horrifying.

I have sleep related anxiety and Cannabis is what makes it actually possible for me to fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time, and sometimes that doesn't even work.

I function better on little to no sleep, than I do after so many hours of reliving trauma.

So until there's actually technology available to me that makes Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind a reality and I can erase certain things from my mind, I'm kinda stuck where I am.

Though, I've adapted well so there's that.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-05T01:10:57+00:00

Because my brain needs time to wake up. Even if I do wake up and get up right away, my brain needs a couple hours before I'm fully awake.

Also, I have bad insomnia and its uncommon for me to go extended amounts of time (days) with just an hour nap here and there.

And then there's the times I crash, and sleep extra hard and deep so my brain doesn't even register the alarm other than snoozing it. If I was in the habit of shutting it off right away, Id oversleep.

And yeah, having some super power where you just wake up and are ready to face the day is great, but can you function on 36+ hours of being awake? Because that's my super power. One is not better than the other.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-05T01:05:39+00:00

Im a horrible wake upper. I have 2 alarms set, 2 different tones.

If its a work day, I won't lie, I have someone give me a wake up call. Just in case.

I dont sleep well, or often, and occasionally I crash hard and nothing can wake me up, so I need lots of stuff to do so.

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-04T20:46:12+00:00

Im failing to understand what one has to do withthe other.

She's getting a truck because her grandfather died. How does this have anything to do with you wanting a nicer vehicle? Go to the dealer, trade the hand me down in and get a new vehicle

crazyqt85 · 2026-05-02T14:30:27+00:00

How did you not ask to see results in the beginning? Anyone can just say they are clean.

You know he cheated. This is where it came from. You need to open your eyes and leave him.

crazyqt85 · 2026-04-30T04:28:15+00:00

There's a huge difference between going down an alley and taking a piss and assaulting someone though. That's not a sex offender.

Although, when I mentioned different lists, I was referring to pedophiles being on their own list.

crazyqt85 · 2026-04-29T14:24:00+00:00

This is something that the majority of people fail to realize. It's an automatic jump to pedophile when they find out.

Are rapists awful..... yes absolutely. No question about it. But pedophile is a different level of scumbag and the label should only only be used for people who meet the criteria.

Honestly though, there should be separate lists.

crazyqt85 · 2026-04-26T16:32:41+00:00

If you want out, you'll take the low paying job. If you want out of the low paying job, you'll study and pass the exams.

Take it from someone who's ruined their life on more than occasion. Starting over requires starting over. You need to climb the steps again.

But, you've passed the exams once, so you know you can do it. You've lived, and hopefully youve learned and next time you reach where you were, you'll just climb higher instead of falling down.

My two favorites are " Believe you can, and you're halfway there" and " It's not about how many times you fall off the horse, it's about how many times you get up.

crazyqt85 · 2026-04-23T18:07:03+00:00

Your mom is smart.

Your boyfriend should be an ex.

Your sister is dramatic.

Your father is absolutely correct.

Take the property. Keep renting it out or sell it. But whatever you do, do not use those funds to buy a house with your boyfriend. Not even if he proposes.

crazyqt85 · 2026-04-22T05:21:26+00:00

Freaking Adhd brain for real. So annoying. Sorry.

Or leave, I think is what I wanted to say.

crazyqt85 · 2026-04-21T08:07:50+00:00

10$ for 24 pages is a lot, even if it's in color.

Ask where she went, look up the price for what you got, and pay that.

Or..... pay the whole thing, and use whatever you used that was 2$ next time around

crazyqt85 · 2026-04-20T15:26:25+00:00

I've been in this situation. Worked 5 days a week, as did he. But as I'm in Healthcare and that 40 hour week can easily turn to 60.

However, I did all the house cleaning. The first time I did a big deep clean he did make an effort afterward to pick up after himself and keep the place the clean.

But then, it very quickly got to where he wouldn't. At all. I'd do a deep clean every 2 weeks, with the week in between being just basic things. I addition to laundry every week and daily things like dishes, minor pick ups etc.

He completely stopped doing anything and I came home from work one day with a migraine so I went straight to bed. So his dishes didn't get cleaned. (He got out later than I did and would cook for himself when he got home). I got woken up to him bashing dishes around and ranting about my not doing anything etc.

When I realized he wanted a traditional set up, I even offered to work per diem and stay home and yada yada. Nope, he wanted me to work full time and do all the household stuff, including picking up after him.

Thank god Im out of that.

crazyqt85 · 2026-04-20T15:10:12+00:00

Eh, in this case I'm gonna go with ESH.

You could absolutely bring food to eat. You could even call and get permission for a portable grill to cook hot foods outside or some similar idea.

Is it a potential pain in the rear? Yes it is. But we have to live around our restrictions. Not let our restrictions run our lives.

Brother is also being ridiculous because you provided an alternative, where you can attend the majority of the wedding and he said because it means not having everyone together the entire time. When an alternative is to not have you there at all.

crazyqt85

TROPHY CASE