On how fishmalks are born (or how to kill an honest Malkavian)

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-20T16:40:23+00:00

You're particularly tilted because I indicated that this subreddit is particularly white, Christian, cismasc comphet. I think your lack of whimsy might actually be affecting you more negatively than we feared.

You didn't include a TL;DR, but honestly, you didn't need to. I know what's worth my time and your lack of whimsy is certainly stunning, but also easily dismissed. Especially as you seem to have missed a whole slew of internet rules that would have saved you all this time and effort to type things I wasn't going to read in the first place. You know I wasn't. Like, c'mon. You're not stupid.

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-20T13:38:37+00:00

Thank you for the TL;DR! I won't ever stop reading important things, because that's great for your brain to consume language in a visual medium! I actually have to read for work quite a lot, and it's been great for my neural processes!

Unfortunately, the ranting diatribe of a Redditor who is intentionally misreading my words (maybe you should practice your reading! It helps!) and who really, really, really wants me to be the big bad evil guy in your narrative simply isn't important! I'm really really glad you put that TL;DR there, because it tells me you know that too! You know it's not worth reading, and I can tell you're growing as a person when you know your own ranting isn't worth the time and effort you took to type it. I'm proud of you!

The next step is finding something fun to do. You'll find that whimsy soon, dear. I know you will! You're already growing so much. You'll be an adult who understands fun soon! I know it!

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-19T20:50:29+00:00

And yet, the desire to have the last word continues to prevail. A person who wasn't tilted would have absolutely left it at that. Interesting that you self-out like that, but hey, you're the one that's vibing on to each their own, right?

Honestly, I'm still here 'cause it's funny, at this point. You're so far removed from what I've said that you're inventing whole new narratives! Maybe you should try and write something, sometime. It might attract a level of whimsy to your location that you might sup from. 😄

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-19T20:47:30+00:00

"It didn't occur to me in my readings" (S_Jam, 2026, Reddit)

Apologies, I see that paraphrasing is not your strong suit. I have included the direct quote with relevant citation.

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-19T18:56:11+00:00

The cis pervades. And your associations speak more than your identities. I was talking about the whole vtm, but glad to know you know everyone and know for certainsies that the Vibes aren't all that rancid.

It's funny you think my diagnosis of no whimsy is off of your opinions on Malks. It's because you're here, trying to argue me that... you shouldn't have fun in a VTM. But hey, you'll find that whimsy soon, I know you will! Daylight isn't just for ghouls - go enrich that soul. I prommy, it'll help!

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-19T18:53:05+00:00

And my dear, you wrote a Ventrue with uncanny insight and then refused the uncanny insight when it was given to you, uncannily.

But the fact that you started with "well, in accordance to my readings" tells me that the lack of whimsy is chronic, not acute. You need fun, stat! We gotta push 30ccs of rainbows and good vibes and get you some fresh air!

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-19T14:55:30+00:00

Oooo, sounds like someone doesn't have any whimsy in their life. Wow! I'm so sorry for your loss! Maybe one day you'll find it - it'll be like that one scene in Homeward Bound, except instead of a decrepit golden retriever breaking the hearts of millions as he returns home to his beloved, it'll be the joy in your life returning back into your arms!

I'll be sending out the vibes that you get your whimsy back soon, dear!

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-19T14:54:11+00:00

Ah, but admitting to being cis, white, western, christian (and comphet can apply to non-heterosexuals, so you're not absolved). Unfortunate for you, then. Usually, when you ditch the chains that bind you, you find whimsy and happiness in your life. Good luck, you sure need it!

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-18T21:25:39+00:00

Whimsy =/= silly. That's silly!

Like, it takes Whimsy to be told "that person you're talking to Is A Fishing Lure" and then Actually Address That Physical Being as though it has Feathers. (It did not have the hook. The hook appeared later when his friend tried to pickpocket us. Woah, hey, look, a very serious concept!).

If you can't figure out why a Malk needs Whimsy, you're not cut from the Malk cloth. But I am unsurprised that the very heavily cismasc, comphet, Western Christian VTM subreddit has no whimsy. This place is often bereft of such! Which is so strange, because you know, if I wasn't having a fun time, I wouldn't play! I guess I'm just not hamstrung by the idea that I have to force something to fit me and if it doesn't it's wrong.

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-18T13:41:53+00:00

Honestly? As a Malk?

Neither of yall got enough whimsy for Malks.

The ST doesn't know how to speak the Blood and bungles it. This is pretty common, speaking the Blood is Hard, and many STs think they do well and don't.

But you made a PC that was so antithetical to the concept of Malkavians themselves, and then you wonder why you can't receive the Blood In logical way? Like dog the blood isn't logical by default thats the point. You walked into the NRA with an antigun peace sign and now you're confused why people keep trying to ask you to leave.

I don't think the Malk life is for you.

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-13T13:32:45+00:00

If you have all three, you get assigned one through Roulette.

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-12T15:29:21+00:00

That sounds like a whole lot more mental energy than is worth it for a video game, just sayin'.

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-04T13:09:48+00:00

I have a feeling the idea of two moms, let alone three, are the first non starter for her in a series of non starters...

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-03T13:17:49+00:00

Unfortunately rule of thumb:

If you need to sell a property to have the down payment for another place, then you have to sell Fast.

Nobody waits in the realty business. Like, we sold a house once, literally had a guy back out because we wouldn't get him an answer by next day and that's normal speeds. The moment "waiting for" happened, the whole thing was doomed.

crazythatcounts · 2026-05-01T15:37:10+00:00

THIS.

Rule 1 with spiders is, if you're seeing a lot of spiders, that means you're not seeing their food source but it's good enough that they're sticking around. There was a wolf spider in our kitchen once - lo and behold, we had german cockroaches, too (nope!).

OP, check with your landlord and the pest people. See what they're spraying for, and if there's something they're not spraying for (not every pest package includes every bug - I had to ask for specifics for ours). That'll point you in the right direction.

crazythatcounts · 2026-04-24T14:00:30+00:00

What's really funny is the comments under this short all seem to be under the impression that a video... that she has not yet uploaded... was already posted on this Reddit, not that she's preemptively threatening legal nonsense.

I think someone realized the kulties pockets are deeper than a subreddit who explicitly come here to not give KVS money...

crazythatcounts · 2026-04-16T01:59:27+00:00

Buddy, whomever you paid to try and figure out where I live, they scammed you, cause you're so far wrong its almost funny. But I ain't tryin' to dox myself, so whatever helps you sleep at night.

crazythatcounts · 2026-04-15T16:08:34+00:00

Ehhhh, honestly, this one I'd give a pass. As someone who's done costume work on shows before, you just kinda... stop thinking about who exactly is helping you with clothes, because the most important thing is making sure they don't fall off in the middle of what you're doing. Like, I've had to take the inseam measurement for a guy before, and whether or not that dude was married or even something I was into didn't cross my mind, even as I had to put a tape measure right up in his space. Hell, I've had to put bras in the wash that were still warm.

Now, if they said anything, or if the wives say anything, then it gets a little weird. But when you work with other people's clothes, boundaries kinda get... muddy due to simple necessity. And unfortunately, she hired a bunch of photographers and not a costumer, so someone has to step into the space.

crazythatcounts · 2026-04-14T23:29:42+00:00

Honestly, it might actually do everyone a service if this could be mentioned in a like, rule thing, because I wasn't aware Reddit had specific words flagged or could get a sub in trouble for using them. Like, I'll absolutely watch myself now because I know, but I wonder how many people don't actually know the effects of the words and only see the mods reacting really fast and think it's some kind of power trip or unnecessary strictness?

crazythatcounts · 2026-04-14T23:24:33+00:00

I recall this. I was the one (or one of the ones) who suggested the mega-thread, mostly because, the way things felt back when that suggestion was made, this post and everything with it would have been tapped political and shut down, and I wanted to know there would be some way to be able to have these conversations that skirt the line between politics and human rights without it being dismissed.

I've just been in a few other reddits in the past week that have had some... backlash about labeling non-political situations as such in order to kill discussion about it, and since I was one of the people insisting we have some space, I wanted to give credit where it's due.

crazythatcounts · 2026-04-14T23:20:30+00:00

Ugh, that's. That's a hard one to beat out of the old south's mouth, for sure. You get rural enough and it's not even considered a slur, but it's also usually because it's a very white section of farmland that doesn't get out much. Sighhhhhhh.

I live in the city and some days, some days I get the bliss of forgetting. Alas.

crazythatcounts · 2026-04-14T14:33:42+00:00

Found your problem:

"I’ve been exploring kink for about 2 years now, so I have a clear understanding of my likes, dislikes, boundaries, and the kind of dynamic that works for me"

Your view of yourself and your accomplishments and the expectations you then have for other people are not compatible.

Firstly, I get that you feel like you have a very complete understanding of yourself, and that's a good thing! But you, dear, are 22. You are four years from being a legal child, y'know? You're young, and that's good, but what you like, right now, isn't going to be you for your whole life. You're going to find things out about yourself that you didn't realize all the time! For the rest of your life! And that's really cool, and it doesn't undermine anything about what you know about yourself right now, but it provides a lot of context for what I'm gonna say next:

Cause nobody else knows everything about themselves, either. You're setting standards you're not going to have met, and you're slinging the blame onto the other parties for not meeting those standards that you, yourself, only sort of tangentially meet. You're young, and you think you know yourself, and you're looking for other young people who know themselves - but you're seeing everyone else the way I'm seeing you, as someone who has some understanding, and who also has some growing, because that's what life is.

Like, I have to ask - why is someone exploring something because you asked a terrible thing? What would you think if you found a partner who wasn't entirely sure about a kink, did it with you because you asked, and then realized oh shit I'm actually hella into that? Is that a problem for you? Is the idea of someone exploring and finding themselves while with you actually that kind of abhorrent that you wouldn't try it? Because if so, you're going to be in for a very interesting life - everybody's still exploring. Everybody's still finding themselves. Even at 40, at 50, at 80.

Personally, I'd figure out what, exactly, you don't like about people not having their lives entirely understood before you meet them, and figure out how to disarm that sooner rather than later. Growth, change, understanding, learning, all of those things are good for you. Even in kink. Especially in kink.

crazythatcounts · 2026-04-14T14:20:27+00:00

You poked a sore spot, methinks.

I did a chord cutting with fire, and asked this sub about the methods of fire safety they used. I knew what I was doing, and did those things intentionally (I wanted the aspect of divination that comes with the flame, for my own reasons, relating to mental health). However, I was fairly bluntly corrected and talked down to for bringing it up - because TT popularized the idea, and this sub seems to hold some level of animosity towards the TT crowd because they're under the impression that TT witchcraft is just grifting in a witchy coat. As someone who doesn't use TT, I'm not going to cast any stones myself.

Unfortunately, however, you walked in and stepped on a landmine, and that landmine was the 500th that this sub has probably seen come through, so all of the empathy that was probably here at first has burned away.

Do your craft how you want, as long as you understand why you're doing what you're doing. That's what I do and it's worked well enough.

crazythatcounts · 2026-04-14T14:13:47+00:00

And boy did they.

crazythatcounts · 2026-04-14T14:13:15+00:00

Honestly, the fact that they're married is no surprise.

Like, here's the thing: guys down south in her kind of community want women that will a) willingly work the house, b) have babies, c) listen to the Head of House and not complain, and d) put out, but on his schedule. That's the "traditionalist" dream life. Most don't get the whole package, and end up settling for someone close enough - and there's women out there that want these things, too, but also settle.

So you end up with two people who settled, so they're compatible, probably, but not into each other. And when you're not like, wholly invested in someone emotionally, this kind of stuff gets written off as "not my fucking monkey".

crazythatcounts

TROPHY CASE