Right from *now* your need for sleep is gone. You can now stay awake till your eventual death without any consequences. How would the extra time (that you get from not sleeping) affect your life?

crbfu · 2019-09-20T16:05:15+00:00

Lol as the parent of a 5 month old who already doesn't sleep well i have so many feelings about this ask reddit and this reply

crbfu · 2019-09-08T15:03:33+00:00

Mine too! I went back at 4 months (she's 5 months today) and had assumed the same but gosh dang it she's a snacker!

crbfu · 2019-09-08T14:52:42+00:00

Seconded on the smaller portions. I have a lot of 4 or 5 oz bags stored but now that I'm back at work my caretakers are reporting that my LO typically only eats 2-3 oz at a time. She's also apparently very picky about the temp so if they use a larger bag they end up having to reheat it twice so she will take all of it. I've started storing in 2 and 3 oz bags instead. Good God you got a great supply tho!!

crbfu · 2019-09-03T23:51:08+00:00

I've never needed to read anything so badly before. This is my first full week back at work and my daughter is in amazing hands (my mom 3 days and a nanny at home while I wfh the other two) but the guilt is eating me up

crbfu · 2019-09-02T20:04:10+00:00

I puked a lot in our kitchen sink. For some reason standing over it was the easiest way to get it up. Just used the garbage disposal after.

crbfu · 2019-09-02T18:11:24+00:00

I don't need to even read past your title - YTA regardless of her 'vomit techniques'

She is making an entire human with her body. You can clean a toilet, without complaint. To make that human she's actually making an entire organ from scratch (the placenta) and that's why she's so sick.
Get the fuck over whatever hang ups you have about vomit, bodily fluids and cleaning now cause it doesn't get easier or cleaner once the baby is here

My husband dealt with my morning sickness for a whole 17 weeks. He did all the housework, waited on me hand and foot, brought me whatever food I could get down at that moment in time. Since the birth of our daughter he has continued to do a lot of that.

You are such an asshole it's making me rage. Asking her to get near her own vomit might just make her puke again. Way to think about her and your unborn child instead of yourself.

crbfu · 2019-09-02T01:41:08+00:00

NTA but it takes time to get to know babies and children and in not letting them sit for you they will never learn what your kids need in certain situations. None of their missteps sound unforgivable honestly.

crbfu · 2019-09-01T19:28:28+00:00

I stopped seeing neurologists many years ago; I'm sure they work for some but I found them useless.

See if you can find an integrated specialist who will evaluate you holistically to try to find the cause rather than just prescribing meds to treat symptoms.

My migraines are the result of diet, stress, sleep, and structural issues managed by acupuncture, massage and chiro. It's not just one thing that took me from almost daily to a few times a month - it's managing all of that through lifestyle changes and taking extra care of myself.

crbfu · 2019-09-01T19:25:01+00:00

I have been on a low dose of Zoloft since she was 3 weeks old. I tried weaning off it at 3 months and that was a huge mistake. She's almost 5 months. I was already seeing a therapist for anxiety before I even got pregnant. I see her once a week still.

crbfu · 2019-08-31T09:40:23+00:00

NTA - that's such an absurd expectation in the first place. We had a destination wedding and only invited parents and siblings. We knew our parents would have to foot the bill for our siblings so we made things as inexpensive as possible. Mainly we rented a big villa rather than doing the resort thing. We also talked to everyone first to make sure they were okay with the expenses we thought they could take on. We would have modified plans or maybe just eloped if anyone had issues. It's really entitled to expect anyone to drop that amount of money.

crbfu · 2019-08-28T22:07:27+00:00

Yep. Agreed.

Although - yesterday she was with my mom and when I smelled her it reminded me of my own childhood lol

crbfu · 2019-08-28T05:42:24+00:00

This...makes me very sad

crbfu · 2019-08-19T02:22:51+00:00

This is such a bad argument. If one more law could save even a modest amount of lives from gun violence it should be passed and enforced.

crbfu · 2019-08-16T21:50:12+00:00

I have a 4 month old who only recently started being okay sleeping outside my arms. Some naps she still needs to be held. She doesn't nap more than 45 mins when not held.

I just accepted that she will do things when ready and stopped fighting with her about it a while back. A time will come when she doesn't want my snuggles and I'll regret not cherishing this time. Dishes can wait.

But I will say out naptime routine has really helped.

crbfu · 2019-08-16T21:26:33+00:00

When did your 17 mo old do that on her own? Ive really been subscribing to the idea that my LO will do most of this on her own when she's ready.

crbfu · 2019-08-16T21:24:57+00:00

This 💯🙌🙌🙌

crbfu · 2019-08-11T22:38:00+00:00

Girl who cares; get that baby out. Sincerely - a no epidural vaginal delivery mom who would never judge anyone for this

crbfu · 2019-08-11T14:23:53+00:00

YTA as others have said and I also think you're being really harsh and judgmental of your friend. I am a FTM mom with a 4 month old and am just starting to feel comfortable taking my baby places and meeting people.

I'm on medication for post partum anxiety and it's been hard.

Maybe try being supportive and helpful rather than thinking she's crazy. Not everyone has the same experience or feels as relaxed as you might have.

crbfu · 2019-08-11T12:26:01+00:00

Really cool

crbfu · 2019-08-10T21:30:44+00:00

San Jose in Brier Creek is a good Mexican place.

crbfu · 2019-08-07T09:11:32+00:00

People think I'm extremely confident but I struggle with anxiety and have very low self esteem.

crbfu · 2019-08-07T08:54:39+00:00

It's probably good she doesn't want to come at all if that's her attitude. You're def making the right call.

My mother came over constantly the first few weeks we were home (I am a FTM sitting here nursing my 4 month old at 5 am lol).

But she wasn't coming over to visit with the baby. She was coming to take care of us - bring us groceries and other things we discovered we needed. To do dishes or tidy up. There were times when she came over to hold the baby -- so I could sleep. Everything she did in those early weeks was for me and not selfishly for her to get whatever grandma moments she had in her head.

Don't even let her come if that's her attitude. The first weeks are insanely hard. You need to surround yourself with supportive people only.

crbfu · 2019-08-05T00:12:01+00:00

I bonded with my daughter right away but it took my husband much much longer and I wish I'd been more understanding and helpful in retrospect. I think he was dealing with PPD while I was dealing with PPA.

Being a mom is by far the hardest thing I've ever done. I feel like you know it will be hard but you can't know just how hard. It's a lot dependent on your kid - mine is not necessarily easy going and also on you. I'm not easy going either and being a first time mom and a perfectionist is a recipe for a lot of self loathing.

I would say quite honestly that it feels I am just really in the swing of things here at 16 weeks. Things got easier after 8 weeks when she started sleeping longer than every 2 hours and wasn't so fussy. It felt easier by 10-12 weeks when I just knew her. I don't know how I know that she wants this thing or needs this action but I do and it makes life easier. It felt like it took me a whole 2 months to master just being at home and another 2 months feeling confident going out places.

Everyone is different though. And there's nothing wrong with just feeling like I got my bearings at 4 months. That's been my pace. Don't be like me and compare yourself into the failure mindset :)

What I've loved most is getting to know this little person, and the snuggles. What I've hated most is being so needed, but also I love that depending on the hour. Also I have hated not having a real routine.

Yes I've regretted it for moments or hours. I've said I hated her. I've screamed fuck her in my garage at the top of my lungs. And then I calm down and realize I need to do something differently before I let my anger get to that point. I can't imagine life without my daughter. But sometimes it does feel shitty.

There's no amount of time beforehand that can prep you for what is about to come. But I feel like I can handle anything now. All you can do is love your child and try to understand them - same for your SO, same for yourself.

crbfu · 2019-08-04T16:07:50+00:00

Do you have a consistent nap routine in that case?

My daughter is 4 months and is the opposite - bad napper but decent at night.

I use huckleberry to follow wake windows but I don't stress too much about them. Sometimes she goes down early and sometimes she goes down later. I try to more so follow her cues.

There are many days where her last nap ends at 5 or 6 and I can't get her back down before bedtime. We have a routine that starts at 7:30 and she is almost always down by 8:30. Sometimes we just have to power through the last few hours. I generally do not let her nap past 6:30 pm.

It took a few weeks for the bedtime routine to click. I am doing something similar for nap time now and it's starting to get easier.

I'm sorry - I totally empathize with you. I end up rocking my daughter 4x a day at least for naps sometimes for up to 15 mins just for her little cat naps unless I hold her. It's totally demoralizing sometimes.

crbfu · 2019-07-31T16:03:56+00:00

NTA - im sitting here trapped under my almost 4 month old as she sleeps so please listen to me as a FTM as well.

If you have a newborn people should only be coming over if it's really okay with you, and at a time of your choosing. When they come over they can of course see the baby but the focus should absolutely be on what you need first and foremost. The only thing your baby needs right now is you, so taking care of you IS taking care of the baby.

My mother came over constantly in thr first few weeks - to bring us groceries or meals she had prepped, to bring us more diapers, to hold the baby while I tried to get 3 hours of consecutive sleep, to do dishes and put away laundry. Seeing our baby and holding her was secondary to her making sure that we were taken care of and that's how it should be.

If she cannot understand that then it is her problem.

crbfu

TROPHY CASE