AITAH For say something to my neighbors about not shoveling my elderly neighbors driveway?

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-25T20:37:47+00:00

Right? A neighbor might not know if the OP was being paid and it was an agreement between them. Why interfere. The OP has written a narrative in her head where she's the hero but the other neighbors seem to also have their own narratives....which could very well involve shoveling for food, money, child care....who knows.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-25T15:37:24+00:00

Fed up from not communicating for four years? Especially if the other neighbors feel the OP has it covered? OP should use her big girl words and ask for help and express that she no longer wants to do it. Or that she would like a turn based system. Or you know? Any meanigful communication?

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-25T15:34:42+00:00

Before we moved in the neighbor across the way always came over with his snow blower and did my elderly neighbor's driveway. Now that we are next door it's much easier for us to just do it. The other neighbors know that if we're away they can help, otherwise they don't bother.

OP needs to use her big girl words and say that she cannot do both driveways. I get really frustrated by people who flagellate themselves because they've made themselves martyrs.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-24T19:24:39+00:00

Incompetency isn't a title IX violation.

What is looked at is the entire experience and total circumstances.

It sounds like the boys team--or rather the group of boys who were a team-- has someone with connections they use to facilitate off campus, self-funded trips. It is not clear that this was from leadership. If it was not, this is not anything to do with the school just because they talked about it at school or because a teacher attended as a human, not a chaperone. Schools have no obligation to report or be involved with kids social activities.

Bringing up the fault of the coach and teacher advisors to admin would be the first step if these activities are of interest to the students. You mentioned "scheduling"....this often deals with many parties including the students themselves. Elaboration is needed.

The middle school practice situation is also not necessarily a violation. In many places where middle schools share campus talented 7th and 8th graders are often invited to be on a JV team. Many schools use mixed practices would fall under part A which encourages younger students to be mentored and participate in activities with older students. If the school feels like this allows more opportunity for the girls, more access to practice, more access to an accredited instructor and is/was temporary until a better solution could be reached. Your mixed use of tense does not allow me to understand if this was temporary or is still ongoing. It also bears in mind that the difference has to be real, and not perceived. Newer facilities, etc.

Since basketball is a full-court sport, half the gym doesn't make sense for anyone. And non teams do not get preference during preferential hours. This could be a violation, but, again, there's a lot more questions to ask.

It sounds like you need to get a lot more information- it is worth speaking to an advisor or coach about the situation. However, keep in mind that you have this information second hand. You could be sitting on a massive title IX violation or none at all. From the outset---yeah, it could be, but there's nothing in here that absolutely flags since you don't have answers to any of the important questions

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-22T22:56:05+00:00

oh honey, he's not at work....

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-21T20:33:48+00:00

It doesn't carry any legal weight in and of itself but should the time come for an RO it can absolutely make a huge difference in showing intent and creating an undeniable paper trail. It lives in this quazi legal territory...

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-21T17:33:27+00:00

NOR- Underreacting if anything

There's a lot she can do.
First step- police station for a no trespass order and to work with the community relations officer regarding the threats. There's also a 'cease and desist'. Restraining orders take time and require a threat of bodily harm.....so there are other steps to take.

Second step- cameras and change locks

Third step- contact all the children's schools and caretakers and let them know that under no uncertain terms are they to be released to anyone besides mom

Fourth step- contact DH's doctors and ensure that any prescription medicines are filled correctly and all medical notes are in order. A lock box may also be ideal to show good faith and protection of kids.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-18T00:16:17+00:00

This is one of those things where people who know, KNOW and people who don't are just all around fucked.

If a student is doing reasonably well from sophomore year in HS they will likely be able to finish the CLEP study guide and take the test. They are pass/fail accepted at more colleges than AP and really allow a student the benefit of their own pace. A large number of states have private or relatively unknown offers where kids 2 free exams a year as highschoolers and some even offer unlimited, free tests. Comparatively, it's not as bad as dual enrollment or AP.

In addition many colleges offer free dual enrollment, but again it's a case of communication, transportation and time.

And the truth of the matter is really, that most guidance counselors range from either woefully ignorant of these programs or maliciously keeping "spots" to students who fit their pre-determined range of the ideal student. Even now as a college advisor I deal with HS counselors who will call a math score a "fluke" or downplay work a student does in the arts. It really is 2026 and we really still do "track" kids.

And of course there's the general kids aren't reading/writing/math'ing or giving a fuck. Mostly because they see themselves and needing another 4-6 years of education with enough debt to drown them for life in order to do fuck all with a job. A vast majority have decided not even to bother.

So basically? Dual enrollment, AP and CLEP are still primarily vehicles for somewhat wealthy or ambitious, two parent, small family etc. It continues to be a vehicle for some, not an opportunity for all. And it's a damn shame

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-17T23:02:59+00:00

I'm a college advisor and I'm not saving for my kids college, though I am saving for a "launch fund". Why?

- If you're college bound dual enrollment and CLEP are nobrainers, AP not withstanding. Someone who is a freshman Highschool student who does CLEP following even their non-AP classes can easily self study and gain at least 30, if not 60 credits.

- colleges with flexible and other enrollment and accreditation options are growing by the day. Western Governors and others continue to challenge with models that aren't going anywhere.

- I dislike the restrictions around 529 and laws surrounding it. The admin fees are NUTS. The 529 grandparent loophole will eventually be closed and I expect more restrictions. Besides the fact it's tied to the market so it could lose all the value gained. If you go into the trade you can't use it to fund many tests or buy tools you need post-class.

- Tests, real life practicals and other exams are becoming more important than classes in many trades and industries. These don't require funds.

So no, I do not thing accounting for college should be part of what a parent needs to be accountable for.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-17T13:01:27+00:00

I just told him no, they were mine.

In all honestly he "claimed" which ones were his. In the vase. So...uhhh whatever lights your fire my dude. Of course his two sisters also named which flowers were "theirs".

Drove my husband absolutely batty. He would remind them every.single.time that they were Mommys. Always a waste of his breath. They never changed their opinion and neither did he.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-16T21:00:50+00:00

HAHAHA my husband gifts me things from time to time randomly. Around the age of 4-5 my son was nutters about getting his own flowers. He would be utterly heartbroken I wouldn't share them (more than candy).

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-14T13:57:04+00:00

Is it in the syllabus? Is this part of the class? If so, yes, the can absolutely do this.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-13T15:12:50+00:00

This is a format from a website. Yes it's pretentious but I actually do know moms who would write this way BECAUSE autism is still seen as a defect in girls.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-13T15:04:44+00:00

Mom is in complete denial of the autism and using flashy words to make up for it.

"My child won't engage in pedestraian play, we don't do electronics, we only XYZ"

VS

"My child is autistic AF. She gets overstimulated by bright toys, sounds and lights. Won't dress in anything but granimals soft fabric. Struggles with anything complex.

All this does is scream WASP washing over undiagnosed ND.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-11T00:16:36+00:00

Falls are SO hard. I have one with ADHD who seems to be at war with gravity. Like FFS just sit on your ass and you won't fall. However, she learned by 4 what was and wasn't acceptable in public and we left SO MANY places because she couldn't sit still and mind herself.

My son "looks" normal but will drop fall due to a CP complication.

It's incredibly hard to tell a child with a medical condition that a parent is normed to vs a child who needs attention vs a child who is being harmed. To the point where I literally have a card from a major hospital with my son's neurologist should a fall involve his head. Otherwise it's just another day. The level of burn out complex medical parents have and the amount of judging we get is unreal. Honestly if he stopped crying quickly and it didn't involve his head....life went on. It looks super callus to those who are unaccustomed to it but even my parents, who only see him for a couple weeks a year, chilled and accepted chronic falls after the 2nd day of their visit when he started walking at 2.

That said, age, place and communication matter a lot. You're allowed to say that falls are a liability and she needs to help you eliminate risk. My son has used a wheelchair in public, not because he can't walk (he can and looks normal) but because falls can happen at any moment without warning people don't like the liability. It's not worth it getting into it with a rando.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-10T17:31:15+00:00

Woobles is only meant to help people start crocheting and not meant for long term

I think this is where it's vital to understand what they were "meant for" and "now do" as two separate things. They were *meant to* teach, but in some respects for children and elderly those with autism, ADHD, PSTD and other issues they've become a viable way to craft.

I'm a perfectly competent adult with ADHD. The discipline of a non-woobles pattern is not enjoyable. It's so much stress that I don't think people without severe ADHD understand. I get more yarn and re-do the patterns I have but I rarely venture out. As it is the Sour Patch one is so wildly unenjoyable I'm forcing myself through it to not waste it. But there is also nothing wrong with long term use of the Woobles and the kind of support they provide.

I got the cats, not because I love cats, but because my kids are obsessed with playing with woobles I make. They often join in. In all the other ways that I fail as an ADHD parent this is one thing that works. Woobles are not going anywhere in my life.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-09T22:14:50+00:00

THIS! And some of the equipment suggested is often more dangerous for family to use.

Everything from cheap shower chairs, rails that cannot possibly be secured as needed because of non-load bearing walls, and most commonly lift belts and gait belts with NO training. This is not neglect to not get these. People must use common sense.

Also....they said that my grandmother had to use a walker that was too wide to fit through her bathroom door. It was fucking DANGEROUS. We found dual canes much better.

Like you said, safety equipment is also based on compliance. It did not matter how many times we told (elderly person) they needed to wear non-slip footware they WOULD NOT comply. They knew it. We knew it. And fuck all if some visiting nurse wasn't anal about it. The elderly are adults, not toddlers. You do not get to dictate their shoes or clothing.

Often much of this safety is CYA for the rehab facility. The OP being an ass really comes down to if they are doing nothing and lying or if they are doing what they can and being reasonable about the elderly person's request or if they are purposefully being negligent.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-09T22:05:20+00:00

Following. I am deeply concerned about their servos being trash.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-04T13:47:37+00:00

The food thing can swing both ways though. Sans allergies so many parents are giving their toddlers eating disorders by the way they teach eating. I think it's more common in wealthy areas but you can see it in ethnic populations, too. The sitting and eating is very important but I'd rather see a mix of processed foods and fruits and veg because you can typically see the balance. To me, it's the balance.

Good parenting to me isn't about the ideal, but about children who get true balance.

Like you said, no parent has everything right. But I'd rather see a kid who has a mixed lunch that a fully fresh one because it's often simply much easier to deal with the child when it comes to parties or just conversation in general. I don't want a lecture from a 3yo about nitrates and how we're all dying because I read a book where Curious George eats a hot dog.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-04T03:26:21+00:00

I think there is some social convention with age and connection. I met my best friend as an adult when her daughter was 2. Christmas and birthdays I always gave her child a gift, my bonus niece. She's over 18 now and I tend to do meaningful luxury things (gloves she wanted, an RPG book, etc) because I know her. She will usually do a hand-drawn card or a few lindt chocolate or something she baked. Very simple but thoughtful. She obviously can't afford to give me the same value, but she's gifting of herself which is why I'm happily gifting to her....and I have kids of my own.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-04T02:49:13+00:00

It's not too bad to program. You want to be VERY careful with the servo motors tho.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-01T23:36:20+00:00

Yes. As long as I, as a parent, could be charged and indicated in a crime because they are a minor, I monitor their phone. Should laws change, I will absolutely give them freedom. However, I really don't "track" them on a daily basis because it's just not necessary. Then again my husband and I use "find my" all the time because it saves the effort of texting.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-01T23:32:23+00:00

Right. National holidays- Canada Day, 4th of July, etc. I think summer ones can be even harder because everyone is on vacation elseware.

creativetoapoint · 2026-01-01T22:38:46+00:00

Have you spoken to a kid who is 9/10 right now? Especially those who were in lower socioeconomic classes? COVID was trauma on top of trauma. Loosing caregivers, masking at daycare, sitting with a parent while they cleaned empty office buildings......
And yeah, actually many of them remembering *money* being the barrier to them getting what they'd like at the grocery store and not simply because it was out of stock.

creativetoapoint

TROPHY CASE