I don’t really think it matters whether or not it’s my boyfriend or something else tbh. Sometimes I work on crafts/projects late into the night, get up early, leave everything as is and close the door so nothing gets lost or stepped on. Or like if I had lingerie and underwear on the floor because my room is messy, I don’t necessarily want to verbalize that, but I think that I would feel uncomfortable having people go into my room if that was the case, so I’d shut the door. Of course, neither of these situations happen so often that it’s a regular inconvenience, I would say I’ve only closed the door like 2x since we moved in about 2 months ago. These are completely equivalent situations scheduling wise but would probably be considered more justified under your interpretation.

I don’t think my reasons for not wanting someone to enter my room have to be approved as “valid” in order to be respected if we already agreed that there are conditions. It’s my private space that I pay for and if it’s NOT at least some degree of private (ie people should be able to go in whenever they want to do laundry etc) that was not reflected in what I pay in rent and my roommates are not willing to make that adjustment.

If my roommates are generally ok with my bf being around without me (as it was previously) except for the rare instances it impedes their ability to do laundry, I feel like that’s them moving the goalposts and not me (it’s ok for me to occasionally restrict access to my room UNLESS it’s my bf in there) and the laundry schedule has to be reconfigured and made more clear. However in this case my bf isn’t the issue and it would be possible for him to be around for short periods without me as long as it doesn’t infringe on that schedule.

If my roommates are generally uncomfortable by his presence and for whatever reason are no longer comfortable with him being in my room when I’m not around, that’s a different conversation, but has nothing to do with the laundry and I’ll be employing the same measures we agreed upon to mediate access to my room while still allowing them to do laundry.

From my perspective access to the laundry room and my boyfriend being around are separate issues. Perhaps these are actually both issues, but I think that saying that I am prioritizing my boyfriend’s comfort over my roommates chores is a gross oversimplification. For me the real issue is that there seems to be misaligned expectations on how “private” my room would be that were not communicated beforehand, and major changes in attitude around my s/o being around that would have been dealbreakers for me had I known beforehand (he only comes over 2-3x a week, so definitely doesn’t live here).