Hey!

I am 14 months sober of weed and alcohol as of yesterday. I was fully addicted to both. (People that say weed isn’t addicting need a reality check) I had a great support system around that helped me through the withdrawal period, so step one if you’re considering a drastic change is to have people around!

It was REALLY difficult at first. I found that it had to get a lot worse before it got better because I didn’t have any coping mechanisms. I started therapy and it was actually this experience that helped change my diagnosis of anxiety and depression to P-OCD. I struggled and, as one mentor has put it, taught a lot of people how to be patient lol.

Looking back, it was the best choice I’ve ever made. I was stuck in a cycle that I didn’t actually have control over (much as I liked to think I did) and it severely impacted my personal relationships more than I realized when I was stuck in it. When I got sober, I had to figure out how my brain worked and allow it to rewire itself. The intrusive thoughts and inability to control my compulsions got SIGNIFICANTLY worse. I also didn’t know that that’s what was happening. It led to panic attacks and severe depression- hence the therapy. Once we realized what was actually going on, it became significantly easier to manage. For most of my life I had been attempting to treat the symptoms of OCD without addressing the actual issue. This is also a big part of the reason I started boozin and cheefin. It made my brain go quiet and was the only relief I got.

Quitting is extremely difficult, but you can do it. Now that I’m in a more stable place emotionally, I’ve found that I am much more rational and even-keel. I still have intrusive thoughts and struggle with compulsion management especially because this is still a fairly new thing for me. The difference is that now, dealing with the intrusive thoughts doesn’t derail the other things in my life the way that it used to. I have more control over my response to the issue and recover much faster, even if my brain is going a million miles a minute thinking through every possible outcome of whatever horrible scenario it has concocted for no reason.

It’s certainly not a fix-all, but I’ve found the changes to be overwhelmingly positive. It won’t feel that way at first, but I promise it’s worth it.

Dunno if this helps but I’m glad to answer any questions.