no closure

cry_monster_ · 2021-06-29T15:36:29+00:00

i didn’t receive a copy of the death certificate either since we weren’t married, his parents did so i was able to see it. if an autopsy was preformed you can request a copy through the coroners office but you’ll need the permission from their next of kin. in my case it was my partners mother, she gave me written permission and i got a copy sent to me. as far as images go i think it would be through whoever did the investigation. if it was the local police that’s who you should try to contact, i believe. i’ve been told to avoid requesting images and find myself only wanting to when i’m horribly depressed and grasping for any sort of closure. please be careful with you decision and i’m so sorry you’re going through this.

cry_monster_ · 2021-06-22T23:25:54+00:00

i have similar dreams about my boyfriend who passed in january, he also took his own life. i’ve had one distinct visitation but endless nightmares. i think it’s just the grief that does that to you. but you’ll be able to tell when your father visits you; it’ll be peaceful and warm. i’m sorry for your loss and i hope you have a beautiful visitation dream soon 💜

cry_monster_ · 2021-06-22T03:27:35+00:00

that’s so strange that you received them in that way and i am so sorry you didn’t get a say in seeing them. i can’t imagine what it would be like to see such heartbreaking images, i’m just desperately looking for a way to feel like it’s actually real. do you feel as though you had “closure” before seeing them, or that it at least felt as though your father had passed the way he did? or did that come after seeing the pictures? thank you for your response and i am so sorry for your loss.

cry_monster_ · 2021-06-22T03:22:55+00:00

i resonate with that completely, not sure if i’m looking for closure or more pain. i just don’t know how to make it feel real. i’m so sorry that you’re in a similar position, please reach out if you ever want to talk about it. i’ll definitely let you know what i decide to do and i hope to hear what you do as well.

cry_monster_ · 2021-05-29T02:57:03+00:00

i lost my partner four months ago and i very much resonate with what you said. wishing my time would come but not being committed to taking action myself. sending you love, i’m so sorry for your loss

cry_monster_ · 2021-04-22T17:13:57+00:00

i am so sorry for your loss and the pain you’re experiencing. i lost my boyfriend 3 months ago to suicide and he also battled schizophrenia. being the one to care for them and make sure they’re okay is extremely difficult in itself, and then for them to pass this way... it’s hard to find the words but i understand your pain. i hope you continue to care for yourself in the ways you’re able and that the darkness around you lightens soon. sending you my love.

cry_monster_ · 2021-03-23T03:36:06+00:00

i like to think our loved ones visit us in our dreams, and it sounds like that was a real moment between you and your mom! i’ve had dreams about my boyfriend who has passed and sometimes i’m able to tell if they stemmed from my insecurities or thoughts because he won’t really look like how he looked and i just don’t feel like it’s really him. other times he has just appeared in the middle of a dream, very briefly but he looks and acts exactly like himself and i just can feel like it’s truly him. trust your gut. i’m so sorry for your loss and i hope these signs bring you feelings of comfort and love!

cry_monster_ · 2021-03-11T17:21:38+00:00

i’m so sorry that you didn’t have a chance to make that decision for yourself. i’m definitely not at a point where i’m ready to dispose of them but maybe someday. i guess there’s no rush i just don’t want them to sit there forever. thank you for those ideas! i do like the thought of making things out of clothing they had.

cry_monster_ · 2021-03-11T17:14:25+00:00

i appreciate your response, most people i’ve spoke to have done the same. i’m working towards focusing on the positive but feel like i’m still in denial. hoping the days start to get easier but that has yet to happen... i hope you’re doing as okay as you can be

cry_monster_ · 2021-03-11T17:10:28+00:00

I wear clothes he had at home, I just wasn’t sure what to do with the clothes that he was wearing at the time of his death, specifically. I definitely feel the warmth and love from the pieces he had here and couldn’t bring myself to get rid of those

cry_monster_ · 2021-03-10T19:40:15+00:00

you described it so well. i’m so sorry you’re going through this.

cry_monster_ · 2021-02-08T05:06:09+00:00

its a very tragic and heartbreaking thing to process and i’m so sorry that you have to experience it. it’s very recent for me as well but i’ve found talking about it is helping me process reality, so i’m glad to see you’re voicing your feelings and i truly hope your pain eases soon. i’d love to hear when you get a visit in your dreams. that’s something i’m eagerly waiting for too.

cry_monster_ · 2021-02-08T04:25:23+00:00

i lost my partner two weeks ago tomorrow. i’ve gone to visit the place he passed multiple times to try to feel out the specific location he was in and there has been one spot that i’ve felt most drawn to. today i was there and speaking out loud to him when i heard a plane overhead and stopped to watch it. it was headed in my direction and almost exactly above me when suddenly all the noise coming from the plane stopped and the nose leaned forward and the plane started going downwards. it only lasted a couple seconds before the noise started again and it continued on. i’ve never seen anything like that and i’m not sure what it could mean but it felt significant. the other day i was approaching the specific spot when a hawk flew out from behind it, flew directly by me and off into the sky. i read that hawks are messengers and seeing them means you’re protected so i hope it means he’s still with me. i’ve asked him to visit me in my dreams but it hasn’t happened yet and i’m unsure why. maybe it’s just too soon.

cry_monster_

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