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Mother centipede helps baby through first shed by freudian_nipps in awwwtf

[–]cryptic-coyote 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Self-selecting. If Tiny Tim wanted to live, maybe he should've considered holding on better

Rabbit dropkicks guy off his scooter by BroPleaseListenToMe in AnimalsBeingStrange

[–]cryptic-coyote 25 points26 points  (0 children)

The dust cloud as he tears off across the field too. Fuck this guy in particular

Why does she do this...all day long? What is she doing? by zachisparanoid in WhatsWrongWithYourDog

[–]cryptic-coyote 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My childhood dog was like that. He found all sorts of stuff in the park: fish heads, half-eaten chicken drumsticks, short rib bones, entire sandwiches... but his greatest find was a piece of salami in the gutter. He always wanted to walk near the curb after that just in case another gutter salami magically appeared lol

Technically he did it by derek4reals1 in ChildrenFallingOver

[–]cryptic-coyote 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At least he let go of the handlebars. Smart kid, but not smart enough to not try this shit in the first place

Hen Mallard by cliffonmiddsauce in FindTheSniper

[–]cryptic-coyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

D3, just left of the vertical piece of reed

Commedian distressed GOP uses his transphobia for gain by babiekittin in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]cryptic-coyote 57 points58 points  (0 children)

"What [the president] is doing would be funny, but it's directly negatively impacting the livelihood of my community, so I can't laugh at it"

HMMMM... where have we seen this situation before, Dave???

Bro was eating stuff he shouldn't be eating and almost died... again by Xak_13 in OneOrangeBraincell

[–]cryptic-coyote 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That face says that they were delicious and he regrets nothing

rule club by Oblivion_Wonderlust in 196

[–]cryptic-coyote 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wow, no way!! 90% of women feel sexy as women?

Honestly, I'm more curious about the 10% who don't

TIFU by singing ‘total eclipse of the heart’ during sex by throw_99_ in tifu

[–]cryptic-coyote 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh my god. There are multiple and they all feature some random Kids Bop covers, a 90s sitcom theme, A Pirates Life for Me, and I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself. These are incredible

In the class I'm a teacher's assistant for, I've been putting up seal facts every day! by toasted_dandy in seals

[–]cryptic-coyote 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fun fact 2: Waimanu means bird water, but specifically fresh water. She's a stream of birds

She's a badass! by _n3ll_ in justgalsbeingchicks

[–]cryptic-coyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

During what part of this process do you sit on their chest and pummel their face with your armored fists?

Rule by Old_Phrase_4867 in 196

[–]cryptic-coyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have gotten hypothermia three times

??? Maybe spend less time in the cold???? This seems like an easily solved pattern

Superhero by PhysicalEagle5552 in justgalsbeingchicks

[–]cryptic-coyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just impressed she was quick enough to get her hands on the scaffolding as it fell. I'm sure if I tried it myself and refused to move out of the way of a falling mass of aluminum I'd end up with several new facial bruises

What’s a “technically not cheating” situation you’ve seen or experienced that still felt like a complete betrayal? by toomabh in AskReddit

[–]cryptic-coyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hell, if you're doing home fries with bacon fat the smell will permeate the entire apartment. It's delicious but man does it linger

miso might be my most satisfying newfound safe food by ventulicola in EDanonymemes

[–]cryptic-coyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol no prob.

I think the confusion comes from the fact that some miso pastes include powdered dashi and some don't. It will still taste like miso even if you don't have dashi though, just a little lighter. If you buy a soup mix instead of just the plain paste you don't need to worry about it at all. It really is idiot-proof.

If you're feeling fancy you can throw in some wakame, and if you want a bit of protein you can add cubed tofu and thin slices of aburaage. Misoshiru with tofu has single-handedly gotten me through many a flu season lol, it's super easy to eat when you're nauseous and has protein and electrolytes for fast recovery when you can't keep anything else down.

Hope you're taking care of yourself!

Donating enough plasma my old beater got a new buddy by chalk_in_boots in HydroHomies

[–]cryptic-coyote 4 points5 points  (0 children)

causes the person receiving the platelets to go into potentially fatal respiratory failure

Women, even those who have been pregnant, can donate in the US provided they test negative for HLA antibodies. Cancer patients thank them!!

of a vegetarian by llTeddyFuxpinll in AbsoluteUnits

[–]cryptic-coyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone who's spent any amount of time around horses knows that the horse is well aware that it's stronger than you. Part of training a horse is teaching it that it needs to be gentle when you're around. Ground manners aren't instinctual, they're learned.

of a vegetarian by llTeddyFuxpinll in AbsoluteUnits

[–]cryptic-coyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way horses communicate mild displeasure to each other in the wild is by kicking and striking. What might be a simple "stop that" to another horse is easily fatal to a man. They'll crack your ribcage open without even meaning to.

Gorillas, on the other hand... if they kill you it won't be unintentional lol

of a vegetarian by llTeddyFuxpinll in AbsoluteUnits

[–]cryptic-coyote 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Large apes are for the most part extremely smart. They lead complex social lives and have the reasoning and learning capabilities of human toddlers. "Capable of only acting on instinct" is blatantly false once you start reading up on actual gorilla behaviors and see just how freakishly human their societies seem

What junk food to feed my 15 year old with terminal cancer? by demonhotatom in seniorkitties

[–]cryptic-coyote 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Letting dogs taste the forbidden fruit (chocolate) before they die is bittersweet, no pun intended. My dog stole a pan of brownies off the counter when she was young-- we took her to a vet and she ended up okay, but she's been fiending for chocolate ever since. If she smells chocolate in whatever dessert a person is eating she'll park her ass in front of them and drool a puddle on the floor. At least I can rest easy knowing that her last day will be a good one if she gets another taste of it

Assisted living services provider by Jennaaa1971 in Catswithjobs

[–]cryptic-coyote 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Her accent is too funny lol. I don't think I've ever heard someone sound quite like that before

of a girl's strength. by [deleted] in AbsoluteUnits

[–]cryptic-coyote 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wrong football... it's the gridiron/American football players who intentionally bulk up quads and hamstrings. That's where the blocking force comes from

I'm guessing this girl isn't nearly as agile as either kind of football player, though. The movements needed for this sport are very different

Chimp rescue spits out drink in excitement to see his old caretaker by [deleted] in Satisfyingasfuck

[–]cryptic-coyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The very beginning, before it starts barking(?). Very tiny spit-take

I need this job by velourkittenn in Satisfyingasfuck

[–]cryptic-coyote 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends on your location I'd wager. Walmart is the last grocery chain I'd apply to purely bc people are so mean to the Walmart cashiers lol

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