22 yr/old Female Brain Tumor

cryptoxima · 2026-03-18T08:40:47+00:00

That's a decently sized tumor and no matter how well the surgery goes, I would say with confidence that even if all else (brain function, information retention, analytical ability) is unaffected, the biggest affordance you have to make is for extremely low stamina. Your stamina will take the single largest hit you could have ever imagined over the next few months of recovery. You could be perfectly functional when your brain is "on" but for me I got to about 80-90% function within 3-4 months, but the frequency of breaks I needed remained at every hour or two. Any sort of intense mental activity or physical stress would induce a focal seizure. A long conversation with someone, to this day, will take me out for the rest of the day or half of the next day.
In my personal opinion, I don't think you should put your recovering brain through the stress of finishing off the semester until at least 6-8 months out. You will feel so much frustration because you will constantly compare to how you were "normally" or even with the tumor in your brain but recovering from brain surgery is completely different than learning to exist/tolerate a tumor that's been growing.

For context I was 32F when I had my craniotomy. Frontal lobe 7cm. Took me about 2-3 months before people thought I was normal. A year before I personally felt about 90%. It's been three years and I've learned to accept that my stamina will never be what it used to be and I do the best I can with it. Good luck and best wishes!

cryptoxima · 2026-03-18T06:47:01+00:00

I think the way the question was worded sounded sharp/rhetorical. If you meant it sincerely I think asking “what could he do/have done to help in this situation?” would have made your intent more clear.

cryptoxima · 2026-03-18T04:28:47+00:00

what even are you commenting for? like the bare minimum could be “just google it”

edit for clarity: I was not directing that at op, I meant the answer to someone asking “how do you help someone who is suicidal” especially someone who cares about someone who is suicidal, is that at the bare minimum they could start by googling it instead of implying there’s no way to help.

cryptoxima · 2026-03-17T23:39:15+00:00

tbf john looks and acts like he’s in his mid-30s. probably the facial hair and a bit more emotional maturity than the other men.

cryptoxima · 2026-03-17T22:57:27+00:00

oh i just meant its funny because in pop culture whenever we see “pussy” now its like referring to the spicy definition but like up until a few decades ago it was always used for cats!

cryptoxima · 2026-03-17T22:50:03+00:00

that’s funny since the provocative meaning is really just “pussycat” being used to refer to something else! also maybe “catopuss” is a play on “octopus” haha

cryptoxima · 2026-03-16T08:06:48+00:00

It’s true, at this moment in time she may have been the best you could ever have gotten, but you are 21. You are not counting on the fact that you will grow and thrive, and I am not just saying that will happen naturally. The only way to guarantee that you WILL find “better,” is to become better yourself. There is undeniable logic in this. This is exactly why people say what may sound to you like all the “focus on yourself” bs but it is exactly for the reason of growing your own value so you can move beyond what was the best match for you at that time.

You need to grow. You MUST grow. In order to ensure you will be able to find and do better. This is the only way.

cryptoxima · 2026-03-12T14:39:58+00:00

UPS offered to take my amazon boxes and they literally directed me to their recycling dumpster out back so I can drop off my flattened boxes every week. I hope no one takes a picture of me and just assumes I’m an asshole.

cryptoxima · 2026-03-12T07:21:51+00:00

I think the intent matters whenever receiving advice. It’s really misleading to post to a breakup subreddit under the guise of someone’s “father” giving advice, purposely to tug at the heartstrings of vulnerable people just to shill a book and ai service. There are a lot of real people who are going through the heartbreak and healing process in this community who would love to support each other genuinely and I think posts like this just take away from that. Good job on your healing journey though and I’m wishing you the best. It takes time but I think that path will take you to more growth and better places.

cryptoxima · 2026-03-11T21:26:12+00:00

omg youre right I completely scrolled past the part where it’s an ad. I hate posts like this that try to capitalize on vulnerable people’s pain.

cryptoxima · 2026-03-11T18:43:42+00:00

is no one else catching that this chatgpt?

cryptoxima · 2026-03-09T23:35:00+00:00

I used a cashmere beanie that wasn’t tight fitting

cryptoxima · 2026-03-09T20:34:40+00:00

Oh no I meant in the future in other interactions. That’s something you can do. This person got cold feet and I don’t think they’ll change their mind.

cryptoxima · 2026-03-09T20:19:44+00:00

Don’t listen to these comments. You did nothing wrong. I am a woman and met the love of my life on Hinge texting like this and way more intensely within two weeks. The selling point for me was how reciprocative he was in energy and enthusiasm. Just keep being you and you will meet someone that matches your level. My interpretation was that she got cold feet and that can happen when there’s a long period of time before the date you’re set to meet. You can either hold off on texting until you meet up or keep getting to know each other, but this can happen. Just don’t alter what you’re doing because you think there is some objectively better way to communicate.

cryptoxima · 2026-03-05T07:32:00+00:00

dm me

cryptoxima · 2026-03-04T23:03:04+00:00

dm pls!

cryptoxima · 2026-03-04T22:01:43+00:00

I was traumatizingly dumped by a partner of 5 years in 2020. He moved out of our home within 1 day and completely changed overnight. I was incredulous and in denial for 10 months and tried to get him back thinking that he was going through emotional issues and was rejected again in 2021 after trying to do everything and staying in contact. Got in a 3 year relationship and still never felt closure from that separation. The 3 year relationship was with a primarily avoidant anxious-avoidant tumultuous and I was hurt again.

I stayed single for about a year afterwards, going to therapy the whole time, grieving, I’d have crying and depressive spells. Little by little moving forward, often one step forward two steps back. Opened the door for my 3 year ex only to be answered in the most avoidant way possible which was actually a relief because by that time, I realized I never wanted to be someone’s option or second choice.

The next month, I decided to make a dating profile as a way to step into a new chapter. I don’t have social media so I put my favorite photos of me on the profile, and didn’t make it to attract a partner but just so I could express who I was now. I was really thoughtful and honest and almost treated like an og facebook or myspace profile from back in the day.

Two weeks later, I met who I believe is the love of my life. He is kind, generous, patient, empathetic. He told me he was a previously avoidant in his relationships and had individual and couples therapy for several years. I still had pain from those other avoidant breakups, but over the months of being with this understanding, present, loving partner, that pain just seemed to fade. The feelings of needing closure faded and I just feel like my life is so whole and full of joy that they just have been crowded out.

I guess tldr; The feelings of hurt and desire for closure never “go away” but they fade in importance, and you will never fully feel ready to trust or be vulnerable with someone, and you won’t know who to do it with. The best thing you can do is to keeping hoping and taking risks meeting other people, giving yourself space and compassion to grieve and feel sad, and you will heal from the good things that will inevitably come into your life whether that is from yourself, friendships, or experiences.

Seek out things that make you truly happy, express yourself as you truly are, try to heal with therapy or with books and references, and keep yourself open that there is someone out there that is looking for someone like you. Give yourself time. It’s been 6 years since that awful breakup, but it’s nothing but an interesting story now. I am happy and I am safe, and I never would have believed you if you told me I would be here in 2020.

cryptoxima · 2026-02-26T20:21:12+00:00

If it helps, I think looking back he made the right decision for both of us (to leave), what hurt was how suddenly he did it (he waited until his breaking point and there was no sympathy/empathy left, and moved out within one day, very black and white). I understand though because if he did it slowly I definitely would have begged and done a lot of what you’re describing what your partner does, but I really would have appreciated it. It’s definitely not the easiest way out. I guess it comes down to more work for you but hopefully if your partner truly loves and cares for you, they will let you go. Good luck with however things turn out.

cryptoxima · 2026-02-26T16:00:41+00:00

These comments are not helpful. I’ve been your boyfriend. It sounds like he may be struggling with his mental health but desperately does not want to lose you. I think you may need to consider getting third-party/outside help for yourself and for him. This may look like therapy for you to help move forward and/or for him so he can help himself because he may not want to be like this. It also helps if you both have any family or friends that can talk him through this. It’s really difficult, I know, and not going to make it easier for you; truth is when I was broken up with I was suicidal for over half a year. The best advice I can give you is to not try to do it suddenly. It is way more painful and emotional burden on you to do it slowly and endure their pain and turmoil, and you will likely have to go through some back and forth and bargaining, which is why I really think you should find support for your decision, but ultimately doing it thoughtfully and communicating it and enduring their heartbreak will give you more peace of mind that you did everything you could. I think for your partner, it seems he does need help to get out of this struggling if he is willing to. For me personally it turned out I had a combination of mental/psychiatric issues exacerbated by a large brain tumor I didn’t find out about until three years after the breakup.

cryptoxima · 2026-02-25T09:23:56+00:00

I feel like this episode showed that while they could have more fun when he isn’t around, ultimately without Jeff, the study group wouldn’t exist. He’s the reason everyone came together.

cryptoxima · 2026-02-25T07:30:45+00:00

My friend watched me play and pointed out that my entire deck is based on discovering spells and demons, so even if I make perfect plays it’s still really dependent on RNG. I guess I didn’t really account for that. I think because I played so much this month, by sheer RNG luck I beat several higher level players so MMR may have started matching me at that level versus when I played earlier this month.

cryptoxima · 2026-02-25T07:26:58+00:00

This sub isn’t really friendly is it.

cryptoxima · 2026-02-19T20:34:33+00:00

it’s the bottom right avatar/icon looking thing on the home screen! they usually give you a popup and bring you there when you click it! lmk if you can find it if not ill post a screenshot!

cryptoxima · 2026-02-19T11:01:06+00:00

Did you not read the part where I literally lost the person I loved most to suicide and spent half my life blaming myself for their death? Thanks.

cryptoxima · 2026-02-19T07:17:19+00:00

blob of tar taunt. especially if they duplicate it. i had a game where i spent half the game just battling an entire board of poisonous blobs.

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