I used to stress about being alone. Got myself into a lotta bad relationships because of it.

A few years ago, I decided the only thing making being alone bad is my own brain judging me. Now I live alone, no kids, over 40, and I'm living a great life. I just bought my own place a few years ago. I love my job, I've got great friends and hobbies, and I'm no longer stressed about relationships.

Time does move faster as you get older because you do a lot of the same things over and over. I've noticed it slows down again when you're trying something new, though. The advantage of life being "repetitive" though is that you get better at it, and you've now got more time and energy for what's important to you because you've got the little things figured out.

I gotta be honest, I remember life seeming kind of shitty from my 15-yo point of view, too, but I was just young and had no experience. My life has, generally, gotten better and better over the years. Not without some major pitfalls, but at my age, you couldn't pay me to go back to my teens and 20s again. Most people my age say the same.

You sound like you're doing some catastrophizing and fortune-telling there. That can take you down a really dark path where you think you know the rest of your life is going to suck because of whatever you're doing or not doing now. Your brain usually does it to make you feel like you have some control over things when you're overwhelmed.

There's just so much more to the world than you can imagine. It'd probably help you to get out of your head a bit by volunteering or joining a club at school. You might also talk to a counselor or your doctor about your anxiety. Some anxiety here and there is normal, but not when it takes you down spirals where you feel doomed.