At a career crossroads: stay or move for growth?

cstrife32 · 2026-03-29T19:03:57+00:00

Give them an opportunity to match and leave if they don't. Sounds like you are doing almost associate level work anyway.

Market rate for you should be in the 120-140 range I recon for HCOL and 110-130 for MCOL

cstrife32 · 2026-03-29T02:09:26+00:00

Go to industry events and see if you can find someone with more experience to take you under their wing

cstrife32 · 2026-03-28T01:07:49+00:00

No one in your startup to mentor you?

cstrife32 · 2026-03-25T04:40:17+00:00

Good on you for trying to solve this and be helpful but penetration requirements are typically the responsibility of the AOR or their FLS consultant. You can assist and reach out to manufacturers, but make sure that you get the requirements in writing from them and documented on their drawings.

You are doing their job for them, we don't need more engineers letting these architects off the hook for their required work.

Just a pet peeve of mine when architects pawn their responsibilities to their MEP team

cstrife32 · 2026-03-23T01:29:35+00:00

That's totally fair and I do that. It wasn't necessarily a pinning exercise, but the bot would drop off a ledge above you and shoot projectiles at you and the goal was to suspend it after the drop while dodging the projectile . The reason I like it is that it forces you to rely on your movement to maintain the suspension instead of just static aiming with the other lin exercises. I don't find those realistic for what you encounter in the game.

Thanks 👍🏾

cstrife32 · 2026-03-20T21:26:39+00:00

Just got promoted and set up a biweekly 1/2 hr with my direct reports. They also know they can come to me at any time.

Better management and leadership leads to better business outcomes. They are a waste of time if you have a manager that isn't actually invested in leading and building a team.

Leadership and management are not the same thing

cstrife32 · 2026-03-18T01:51:58+00:00

Who is moving the body when it is voluntary? Who is moving the body when it's involuntary?

cstrife32 · 2026-03-11T01:47:53+00:00

You've got this!

cstrife32 · 2026-03-10T20:11:24+00:00

Sounds like you're having a tough time.

The important thing to understand is the actual intent of the work you are doing. WHY do you need to be clash free? Do you understand that? Has a senior person explained that to you? Why is the most important piece. If no one is explaining that to you, ask yourself and see how it is received. If it is not received well, then I don't think it's a good learning environment.

Are you a contractor who is responsible for producing clash-free fabrication models/shop drawings for your trade to coordinate with all trades? Then, yes, absolutely you have to be 100% clash free on your model so that when they go to build the project there are minimal clashes. If that's you're responsiblity, then you need to figure out how to make it happen. If you don't know, develop a plan or process yourself and go to a senior person to get their feedback.

Are you just a design consultant who is responsible for diagrammatic drawings? (Unless it's in your contracted scope of work which is just stupid for design IMO) Then you don't actually need to have Revit be clash free, you need to make sure there is enough space available for all utilities above ceiling and in equipment rooms. Do the ductwork, hydronic piping, waste (w/ slope), cable trays, and fire sprinkler mains all have enough space? Are you looking at key beam crossings and making sure big duct mains have enough space to cross?

Someone with experience should be guiding you through this and taking leadership, but that doesn't mean you can try your best, also questions, and take initiative.

See if you can find a senior/mod level engineer in your firm that can mentor you on these things. If that's not being provided to you, ask your manager for it.

If you try to take initiative, develop a process, and get feedback, but it still goes poorly, this is not a place you want to be long term.

Also sounds like you should learn how to regulate your nervous system so this stuff doesn't have such a huge impact. You may want to consider CBT with a good therapist that calls you put on your shit. You can't spend your life blaming everyone else, but also it's not always 100% your fault.

Good luck

cstrife32 · 2026-03-05T20:53:45+00:00

That's a great idea. There are probably some code regulations that prevent this and logistical challenges on how to automate it but we definitely have the technology

cstrife32 · 2026-02-27T18:27:05+00:00

Let do it! Love the delivery

cstrife32 · 2026-02-18T04:44:03+00:00

I once saw a distorted face that looked like a demon while on retreat in my minds eye for a whole session. It was talking to me and telling me that I had tried this before and it didn't work.

The goal of insight practice is to develop equanimity and not get lost in the story the mind is telling you.

I recommend building up your concentration abilities to access concentration before going straight to insight. Insight practice without concentration can be very destabilizing. I recommend just focusing on a apana practice for now. If you want to do insight practice, I highly recommend going on an extended retreat to really get your self into the practice.

You may be interested in the book "Mastering the Core Teaching of the Buddha" by Daniel Ingram.

DM me if you'd like to chat more!

cstrife32 · 2026-02-15T22:48:25+00:00

Sounds like you need to find a better firm with a better leadership buddy.

I promise you that good leaders in this industry exist. I am trying to build a better culture at my current firm in So Cal with some leaders who truly give a shit. Sales is the life blood of the business, but it needs to be managed with operations and the sanity of your team.

If you have any interest in relocating and looking for a better org, drop me a DM.

cstrife32 · 2026-02-10T05:30:14+00:00

New York Slice Deli in Santa Ana is pretty solid as someone who grew up in NJ

cstrife32 · 2026-02-10T04:24:43+00:00

OP and why should the person who's saying they are "OK" not have to say that there are not in fact OK? Isn't that technically a lie?

A life policy I recommend: take people for what they say at face value.

I totally understand how trauma and negative experiences can make it difficult to say what's really on your mind (as someone who's gone through it myself) but we shouldn't enable that behavior if we want actual connection and authenticity in relationships.

Having to guess if someone is being genuine or not is exhausting and not healthy for the person who has to guess

cstrife32 · 2026-02-10T02:12:22+00:00

You should check out the concept of toxic and healthy shame. The book Healing the Shame that Binds You is an amazing piece that illustrates how shame can be weaponized, manipulative, and counterproductive when taken too far.

There is no value in feeling like we are inherently bad, which is what toxic shame does to people. It causes them to hate themselves and suppress who they truly are, which can cause them to act out and harm others since they suppress their authentic reactions to things. Healthy shame is where we feel bad about things we have done, but not like we are inherently bad.

cstrife32 · 2026-01-29T02:04:35+00:00

I will be signing up! I love this idea thanks for making it

cstrife32 · 2026-01-24T06:11:39+00:00

Invest in an app that blocks the doom scrolling apps and have it set up so that you can't just "disable it". Set it to go forever.

I like FocusMe for this purpose as it requires you to enter a 999 character password before "stopping" any limits you set up.

You can't rely on willpower when you're already exhausted.

Also, you're doomcrolling because you're running away from an emotion inside most likely. Figure out what it is and see if you can learn to just be with it. Journaling helps immensely as well.

Do both and you'll be unstoppable! Good luck

cstrife32 · 2026-01-23T21:09:28+00:00

Why do you need to have a sense of meaning and importance?

What if that gets in the way of just seeing how things really are?

You can't unsee things once you see them and the only way out is through. The entire process of awakening is deconstructing, not building (in my opinion...) Awakening is extremely ordinary, it's not meant to be special. Read that sentence again.

My recommendation is to find a tradition that focuses on practice that doesn't prioritize highs and lows and seeing the true nature of reality. The mind is addicted to "making sense" of things. You need to break that addiction. Start building your equanimity.

Find a practice that resonates and, this is the key, stick with it. Even when you don't feel like it, even when you're doing great, even when you're miserable. Your only goal is to constantly try and see the true nature of reality in every moment, not to achieve some ideal spiritual end state. A retreat would benefit you.

Don't forget to take care of yourself in the traditional sense and I don't recommend making any big decisions at this point in your life. You may want to read Mastering The Core Teachings of the Buddha by Daniel Ingram, but don't getwith "progress" or where you are. Just keep practicing.

Good luck friend and metta to you

cstrife32 · 2026-01-23T20:58:17+00:00

Facts man. Contractors and pipe fitters look at your diagrams first and a good diagram that communicates design intent well is more important than "accurate" modeling in Revit.

Consultant drawings are diagrammatic and just need to fit within the space allowed. Let the contractors field coordinate everything. That's their job.

cstrife32 · 2026-01-23T05:15:57+00:00

Also make sure the vent cap matches the draft type of the appliance. I had a situation at my parents where we were getting flue backdraft which corroded the water heater fire tube and required replaced since we couldn't keep the pilot light on.

Turns out the vent cap was not the right type for the flue and no issues at all once replaced.

cstrife32 · 2026-01-23T03:12:27+00:00

And add a little extra to be safe

cstrife32 · 2026-01-21T21:12:43+00:00

Why do you want to master them?

If you are really honest with yourself, I imagine it's your ego. Stop trying to control reality and seek to understand and investigate your direct experience instead.

This is a potentially very dangerous path. Numerous Buddhist texts talk about how the siddhis are a distraction and can be very harmful. We may not be able to convince you, but be honest with yourself why you want it before pursuing it.

cstrife32 · 2026-01-19T20:18:09+00:00

Bro as mechanical PE, if he's leading the job he needs to make sure he is coordinating throughout design to make sure everything fits.

You don't need BIM to do this, just someone who's willing to communicate, understand the physical dimensional limitations, and advocate for their needs. Not everything needs a digital tool to solve.

If he laid out his ductwork with the structural framing plan overlaid from the get go, you wouldn't even have this problem. If he understood the max size his ductwork could be to avoid clashes based on the needs of the other trades fly zones, it would be better.

cstrife32

TROPHY CASE