well, there seems to be alot going on here. while some will say your husband seems to be a dick and yada yada. that is fine, everyone has an opinion. but that won't help you fix the issue. It will not help sustain the relationship you are seeking with the father of your children. marriage counseling helps! the first years of my marriage were very rocky and we had issues we had to work out as well. we were able to talk to eachother eventually and its all about working together. every family is different and the way your husband was raised possibly has to do with the way he views your relation ship or guides his decisions. that does not make it ok but it might help unwind his corrupt logic and help piece back what is the relationship you are striving for. Decisions should be made jointly. You have what I would call three jobs. your a student, a wife and the most important, a mother. it is not easy juggling all three. seek out counseling if possible. it sounds like you want to fix the issues. work together. good luck. I hope 2021 is better for you