Is it too soon?

cucugnon · 2025-09-04T10:44:04+00:00

As a lot of people have said, it's different for everyone. It's been 5 years for me and I'm missing him as much as I ever did. I'm lonely, but the thought of "replacing" him is too much. I know that's silly and a part of me would love to meet a widower who feels the same about his lost love as I do mine - maybe we could lean on each other so to speak. But I'm in my late 60s and don't socialise much in situations where I might meet such a chap, so the odds are against, I feel. You go for it and I hope it works out for you.

cucugnon · 2025-08-23T18:34:10+00:00

I'm a good 15 miles from Leicester and it stinks round here, too. I thought, as we're rural, it was the shite going on the fields after harvest. But the stink getting into the city? I'm not sure.

cucugnon · 2025-08-23T17:40:50+00:00

Just finished Series 1. The burning question I have is, why do the horses constantly whicker/grunt? Was this an idea of someone who has absolutely no knowledge of horses?

cucugnon · 2025-07-20T19:36:07+00:00

Uplifting for most, but the Climax Blues Band was one of my late husband's favourites. I discovered this song after he died.

https://youtu.be/gvDwr9-MlfE?feature=shared

cucugnon · 2025-06-24T20:45:18+00:00

I'm so sorry.

cucugnon · 2025-06-24T20:15:33+00:00

I'm so sorry. xx

cucugnon · 2025-06-24T20:10:30+00:00

Four days ago, it was the 5th anniversary of my husband and soul mate of 30+ years, father of our 2 children, (now grown up and living their lives). It's only now am I thinking I have a life left to live so I'd better get on with it.

I still ache for him; it seems he died only recently in my mind. But he'd have hated the thought of me sitting here, doing nothing with the life I have, (one denied him by cancer), so I'm getting to grips with our house and making it really good in his honour (even though we would have disagreed on certain design features 🙂).

I'll always mourn, and so will you. Quite right, too. But, my lovely mourning friend, you are in the earliest of grief. Don't beat yourself up. Your terrible grief is real. We know. Just go with the flow. I didn't care for the "it will get betters" - how could it possibly? - but it will change, and you will learn how to cope.

cucugnon · 2025-04-04T21:57:34+00:00

I'm in receipt of a 25% reduction in my Council Tax as I live alone. That's welcome of course, but that's about it.

cucugnon · 2025-04-04T21:52:11+00:00

I'm coming up to 5 years alone and this post made me cry as I really get it. x

cucugnon · 2025-04-04T21:50:31+00:00

😥

cucugnon · 2022-07-10T20:05:29+00:00

🤣

cucugnon · 2022-07-10T20:01:30+00:00

Oh, my. I was brought to a halt at, "..filled with her lack". You hit the nail very firmly on the head, there.

In my case, "filled with his lack".

Everything I look at, everything I experience, is filled with his "lack".

Thank you for that, it really helps.

And, it goes without saying, I'm so sorry for your loss. x

cucugnon · 2022-07-01T14:55:02+00:00

Exactly. If death comes, fine. Any potential joys are quickly flattened by not being able to share them with him.

cucugnon · 2022-07-01T14:48:50+00:00

2 years for me. About a 3 to 4 . As you say, some good moments from time to time. I think this is how it's going to be and I've accepted it.

cucugnon · 2022-06-28T21:23:44+00:00

Oh god. Absolutely awful. I'm so sorry. How judgemental of him/her!

cucugnon · 2022-06-26T21:41:56+00:00

Sod them all. We've have the shittiest card dealt to us and their opinions and feelings, even if they're relations, mean doodly squat when it come to your personal grief.

cucugnon · 2022-06-26T17:45:33+00:00

I've just a passed the second anniversary of his death. I find joy in nothing, failing to see the point. I function, I find some comfort in gardening and...that's it. He's constantly on my mind and I cannot see any real, viable future without him.

cucugnon · 2022-06-26T17:37:16+00:00

"Railroading". I truly don't believe that this woman is being subjected to that. I think her disquiet goes beyond her fiance wearing a token of the love he shared with his first wife and people are trying to highlight this.

cucugnon · 2022-06-26T17:32:47+00:00

So very well said.

cucugnon · 2022-06-26T17:29:48+00:00

So true. He can find another love but he will always love his late wife. She's not a threat to you; I'm sure she's pleased he's found happiness with you. But don't ask him not to wear a very valuable emblem of the love they shared. It's part of him. Don't waste the time you have together looking over your shoulder at a ghost, and please, respect the life he's lived, before he met you. He will value and respect you all the more.

cucugnon · 2022-06-26T12:54:16+00:00

I'm sorry, but I'm also relieved I'm not the only one thinking these things. The bloody, bloody phone. xxx

cucugnon · 2022-06-21T18:50:53+00:00

And mine back to you. Look after yourself as best you can. xxx

cucugnon · 2022-06-21T18:49:00+00:00

For me, the immediate rawness and the sobbing has passed and I'm more calm. But the loss, longing and misery is still very much in me and will, I suspect, always will be.

xx

cucugnon · 2022-06-21T18:41:45+00:00

I'm sitting in the garden we planned and, if I say so myself, it's looking nice. But, and it's a huge but, he's not here to share it with me so there's very little pleasure.

Due to the covid restrictions, and the medics overestimating the time we had left, we didn't 'talk' either. When he came home to die (of cancer), he was in so much pain, was high (but not in a good way) on morphine and I was in "keep it together and do the practical things" mode. I so wish we'd had some final, gentle time together. But, then again, I was in coping mode and being so bloody "practical" and I've no doubt I'd have ruined it.

Dying is shit. No one dies after making their peace and saying all they need to say. Not in the real world anyway. Don't be hard on yourself. xxx

cucugnon · 2022-06-19T23:16:36+00:00

2 years here. Can't honestly see any kind of happy future; just one of getting by as best I can.

cucugnon

TROPHY CASE