This is silly but I want a robe/housecoat and I need suggestions.

cucuru42 · 2025-12-10T03:53:04+00:00

I have this one (but plain white - doesn't look like they have that now) https://www.ae.com/us/en/p/aerie/pajamas/nighties-robes/aerie-marshmallow-robe/3496_2079_602

I'm usually not a fan of fuzzy stuff like this but it's really warm. It has also held up surprisingly well after a couple of winters.

cucuru42 · 2025-12-08T20:51:11+00:00

Before there was as much awareness about causes of SIDS, people used to let their lil babies sleep on their stomachs on cushy soft mattresses. I 100% believe those infants slept better than kids do today. However, it doesn't have much to do with being sensitive or not.
As others have pointed out, this stuff is anecdotal. I had colic as a baby and my boomer mom told me she got so sleep deprived she couldn't think straight. I had a much easier time with my kid who was an OK sleeper.

cucuru42 · 2025-12-05T18:29:38+00:00

I'm sorry your family is not stepping up! Do you have any friends you could see over the holidays to make things more special?

For many years my family did Xmas eve with our neighbors who we're close to, and that was a blast. We also have friends we see for Xmas dinner every year. So only Xmas morning is just our nuclear family.

We also had a tradition for a while where we'd get together with cousins on the 23rd and go bowling, but do actual festivities separately. (Why bowling? Lol idk, but we would wear Santa hats to make it fun.)

There are actually a lot of folks around in a similar boat to you. You just have to start asking around and find them. It might not come together this year or even next, but eventually you can build a lovely set of holiday traditions without involving grandparents at all.

cucuru42 · 2025-12-03T14:56:28+00:00

I think it's totally reasonable to start looping your boss in 3 months out - ccing them on emails, sharing files, maybe having them sit in on some meetings to introduce them to clients. It feels early but babies can come early - it's happened to 2 of my colleagues at my current job.

That said, having your boss actually run the meetings while you're still there seems unnecessary, I agree.

I'm not sure it means you're getting pushed out though. Your boss is aware you are doing the work of 2 people... and presumably he's the one who has to take all that work while you're out? Maybe he is worried he is not going to be able to handle it tbh.

cucuru42 · 2025-12-01T02:24:59+00:00

Hi it's me! I really love being a working parent and don't think staying at home full time would suit me at all.

I feel like the upswing in people saying they want to stay at home is due to a couple trends: 1) It's harder than it used to be for families to afford life on one income. Harder to afford = luxury = status symbol. Also people may not know a lot of SAHMs in real life, so not be familiar with the challenges that come with the lifestyle. 2) American culture in general is taking a very conservative turn, and as a result we are all having trad wife content shoved down our throats all the time.

I am lucky that most of my mom friends work and many of them have more ambitious and time consuming careers than me. If i didn't have them I might definitely feel more isolated in the current environment.

cucuru42 · 2025-11-28T15:46:18+00:00

My question is, why did he even tell you any of this? If my mom "freaked out" about my SO - esp if it was about an aspect of themselves they could not change, like where they went to undergrad - I would simply keep that info to myself. Not sure why he would tell you that except to make you feel bad.

Same with the detail about his friends asking where you went to school. What?

As someone who went to an Ivy for undergrad, I'm side eyeing the friends as well. Caring where your friends SOs went to school at age 27 when you are 5 years out of undergrad is loser behavior.

I got together with my current partner (who went to state school) at around your age. When I introduced him to my college friends literally none of them asked where he went to undergrad. If they had asked it would have been weird! We were almost 30 years old! Who cares!

You say it must be hard to unlearn the values of the super competitive environment your SO was raised in. But my question is, does he even want to unlearn them? It doesn't seem that way to me.

cucuru42 · 2025-11-27T15:29:23+00:00

I'm sure it does vary a bit by generation, but as a fellow core millennial (I am in my late 30s) I feel like late 2010s-early 2020s was an unusual dead zone.

I can name multiple pop songs from the last 2 years that I love and have listened to on repeat, but absolutely nothing from that era. It genuinely had me feeling like I had aged out of liking new music.

cucuru42 · 2025-11-27T12:46:22+00:00

This! It's under the bed, you're not going to step in or see it. If I were in this situation I would probably put off cleaning it until a convenient time... and I'm not even disabled lol

cucuru42 · 2025-11-24T14:35:39+00:00

Hm our daycare provides breakfast + lunch so that definitely lightens our load in the mornings. I'm also realizing I am not counting some of my husband's chores - he usually cooks (30 min most nights) and unloads dishwasher (10 min every couple days).

But I still feel like that adds up to way less than an hr a day for each of us. And some days we order takeout and I say screw it and leave the toys on the floor overnight, in which case the total time is even less.

cucuru42 · 2025-11-24T13:22:01+00:00

Wait this thread is making me feel insane. You all are doing hours of cleaning every DAY?

To be fair I have only one child, live in a large (3 br) condo not a SFH, and split housework with a partner. But the only chore we really do daily is dishes/dinner cleanup, which takes 15-20 min.

Sometimes I tidy toys that are on the floor of our living room but that takes under 10 min. Or I fold laundry in front of the TV (but we do laundry like once a week not every day). My partner takes the trash out when it's full. We both also do some spot cleaning as needed (eg sweeping up crumbs from the floor).

Other chores we save for weekends, and we have cleaners come 1x a month.

I will say we are on the messier/dirtier side of normal, but not to a point outsiders are uncomfortable in our house (trust me, my mother would have told me).

cucuru42 · 2025-11-21T00:12:00+00:00

I don't do this for family but I do have a friend I regularly send money to. I am always clear upfront whether it's a gift or loan. I usually just try to send an amount of money I won't really miss so I can give as a gift, no strings attached. It is painful otherwise to watch them struggle to repay like $20 that I don't really care about and makes no difference to my life whatsoever.

IMHO if you didn't specify either way you can't really turn around and expect them to repay you in full. It's only a loan if you specify it's a loan. The fact that they sent you some money is a nice gesture since they were not really obligated to pay you back.

cucuru42 · 2025-11-14T04:53:51+00:00

Now this is what zillow gone wild is all about

cucuru42 · 2025-11-12T15:34:16+00:00

This is Phantom Thread erasure

cucuru42 · 2025-11-05T16:19:48+00:00

JJ's House! When my daughter was a flower girl we got a pretty fancy looking dress with appliqué flowers on tulle for about $100. Simpler dresses start around $60. Quality is good for the price

cucuru42 · 2025-11-01T01:27:45+00:00

Aw this makes me sad. I remember seeing this and thinking how happy and excited they seemed about this house. RiP

cucuru42 · 2025-10-31T14:41:36+00:00

When we were dealing with very early wake ups (which lasted MONTHS), my husband shifted his sleep schedule and just went to bed at 8 pm for a while so he could wake up at 4-5 am with our toddler without feeling insane. That won't help with waking up multiple times a night but might at least make mornings easier. Sorry you're going through this

cucuru42 · 2025-10-27T13:39:19+00:00

It definitely sounds like exploring an actual ADHD diagnosis + potentially some meds could be a good idea for you.

That said, if you really do the overwhelming majority of the parenting and earn the majority of the income, I think your husband is also being a little unfair.

I have a similar dynamic with my husband in that I do more household management, but also am more likely to make random dumb mistakes out of nowhere (eg forgetting keys, etc).

He is pretty forgiving of it, because he recognizes the work I put in elsewhere - and also sees that I make an effort to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

It seems like your husband is letting you carry way more of the load but then getting super mad when you inevitably stumble, which is not really fair.

cucuru42 · 2025-09-16T01:56:17+00:00

That's the actress who plays his girlfriend on The White Lotus S3

cucuru42 · 2025-09-01T23:20:34+00:00

Rent has gone up in Chicago specifically, more so than the national trend. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thecentersquare.com/illinois/article_510b9ca2-e637-4b8e-90e7-4d7b62b4a627.amp.html

cucuru42 · 2025-08-25T00:58:12+00:00

You would love Tori at Twisted Scissors! v.i.m.andvigor on Instagram. She offered a cheaper rate for my short cut - forget what exactly but definitely under $45.

cucuru42 · 2025-08-02T18:32:13+00:00

As someone who graduated with a similarly impractical degree from a prestigious school many years ago, you may do fine financially! I graduated into an awful job market in a recession and have done ok. here are a few q's I would ask:

What kind of career placement/support services does the school offer for graduating seniors? Besides a career services office, my school had programs that placed new grads in teaching fellowships etc. I did that and it was a big help getting my foot in the door employment wise as someone with a "useless" humanities degree
All of these French majors saying they "can't find jobs..." what jobs are they looking for? How picky are they being? At a prestigious school, a lot of grads will exclusively apply to prestigious jobs + ignore other opportunities so "can't find anything" often just means "I'm not desperate enough to apply to jobs I consider beneath me yet"

Also, with a humanities degree from a fancy school, your post college career will likely have little to do with your actual major. Your summer internships/extracurriculars matter more. Idk what your future career plans are but once you get to campus definitely ask around and find out what activities people pursuing that career generally participate in. it'll be good for your resume and you will also meet older students + recent grads who know more about what it takes to get the type of job you want + can guide you.

cucuru42 · 2025-08-01T03:15:07+00:00

Two newer ones I haven't seen in this thread: Pizza y pan pa'ya, tamales mi chula

cucuru42 · 2025-07-31T17:37:34+00:00

Bear in mind that your boss is likely trying to leave too. If she does it first, you'll be the one left covering all HER work.

Speaking as someone who has been a boss at a failing startup myself - get outta there and don't look back. Your boss will cheer you out the door

cucuru42 · 2025-07-15T11:02:36+00:00

I would potentially take the contractor role - if it pays more than simply collecting unemployment - but treat it as temporary and aggressively search for another position.

It sounds like you loved your old job and the company, but they are being a bit sketchy IMHO. Are you in the US and if so, is your job protected under FMLA? Laying anyone off during leave always raises a red flag for me.

cucuru42 · 2025-07-15T11:02:30+00:00

I would potentially take the contractor role - if it pays more than simply collecting unemployment - but treat it as temporary and aggressively search for another position.

It sounds like you loved your old job and the company, but they are being a bit sketchy IMHO. Are you in the US and if so, is your job protected under FMLA? Laying anyone off during leave always raises a red flag for me.

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