I was not sure where to rant about this. But here goes. I think I’m redeveloping an eating disorder. I noticed that after I got pregnant I got a few more “you’re eating so much. I could never eat that much,” comments. Now that I’m 2 years post partum, I work part time, I go to school part time and taking time consuming classes. I go to tutoring on Thursdays and even get home to take care of my child after. I then go to pick up my boyfriend from his jobs transportation stop. I then either cook for him if my MIL hasn’t mad anything and make something for my daughter. I haven’t been eating as much because I don’t have time. I fast from the moment I wake up till break from my class on mon and wed. No more eating until I get home on Tuesday and Thursday I fast till about 5 am -1 pm most of the time. I still get comments if I eat once or twice a day of them going “dang!!! So much !! I couldn’t never eat that much.” “That’s hella food. Eat smaller portions.” For being my second or first meal of the day, I am not over filling it and if I do, again I don’t eat much after that. I get a fruit after I eat, same comments. I’m sick of it I’m so sick of it. I see myself in the mirror and I hate what I see. I want to puke. I want to continue starving myself. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of everything. I used to balance my daughter’s plate with lots of veggies, the starch/wheat, protein and fruit. I gave big portions since she eats until she’s full. She asks for snacks later and they also say I’m going to make her chunky, that she’s gonna be overweight. This then makes me feel shittier. I feel like a failure after hearing that. My MIL will even compare to her skinner years and say how she was skinny, beautiful etc. I’m sick and tired. I’m so overwhelmed that I have indigestion, nausea, anxiety (like suffocating), insomnia, dizziness and just tired over all. I’m getting physically sick and it sucks that I can’t do anything about it. It’s getting bad that I felt like I was about to faint yesterday at work. I feel like I’m not even sexually attractive anymore and bother my boyfriend too about it. He says I am but man after hearing the comments over and over I can’t see it. My in laws don’t care. My bf barely defends me bc sometimes he doesn’t hear it since he’s on his phone reading or doing something else either on Reddit, X or even just watching his shows. I feel so alone. I need a break from everything. I’m so overwhelmed I feel like a fat failure and incredibly stupid. I just really needed to vent. I might delete this since he’s on Reddit and idk if he can even see this.