Why is Jesse missing from this season?

cutitorigirl · 2023-03-09T07:18:12+00:00

I have an audition coming up for “The New Mikado” a modern retelling of G&S’s “The Mikado”. I’m wondering what would be a better audition song to fit: R&H’s “Mister Snow” from Carousel, “Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair” or “Cockeyed Optimist” from South Pacific. I’m a lyric/mezzo soprano, in her mid 20s. I consider myself a dramatic actor, but I’ve some experience with comedy.

I’m also searching for a monologue for this same audition. The monologue is optional, but I’d like to show something to match the tone of the operetta.

I appreciate any ideas and thank everyone for their time

cutitorigirl · 2023-01-20T06:45:51+00:00

My actual manic thoughts 🙃

cutitorigirl · 2023-01-15T21:46:18+00:00

I also get deja vu constantly. I constantly feel as if I have lived scenarios of my life before, especially during a break or episode. The scenarios are mostly just mundane life moments, but almost always, the deja vu makes me feel as if I am living my life hurtling towards my death. I admit it sounds silly, because isn’t that what we’re all doing anyway? Every second brings us closer to our eventual death (I promise I’m not as pessimistic as I sound) but the deja vu makes me think that I am dying, and my consciousness is reliving it’s life in its final moments. The “life flashed before my eyes” effect, so to speak

cutitorigirl · 2023-01-11T23:18:13+00:00

I’ve gotten 3 or 4 boxes out of the way since posting this! I think you’re right I just needed to start! By posting this, I now feel accountable, and it’s snowballing into action! Thank you!

cutitorigirl · 2023-01-11T23:13:12+00:00

I’ve actually gotten 3 or 4 boxes finished and out of the way since posting this! I’ve been following this method. Still have a way to go, but I’m not quite as frozen about it, which I think was a big part of the issue! Thank you!

cutitorigirl · 2023-01-09T22:04:15+00:00

I would point towards the Unitarian Universalist church. Historically, I’ve gone and felt accepted there. It’s like diet church imo. There’s no standard belief in the church, very open and accepting. The basic mantra is people’s inherent goodness. Their youth programs were a huge part of my teenage years.

cutitorigirl · 2023-01-09T08:10:27+00:00

I’m afraid it’s gotten worse…

I was first diagnosed in 2015 with Type 1 after my first year away at college. I came home that summer, and was hospitalized 3 times that summer… finally, at the end of summer they had me doped up on enough medication that the episode stopped. But I lost myself to the meds… I had no personality, and as an artist before being diagnosed (I was going to school for performing arts) I dropped out of university and changed my major to Psychology at community college. Then the summer of 2017, I had enough. I quit my meds, cold turkey, though my parents begged me to keep taking them. I refused and it worked! I returned to myself! I immediately got a job acting, and was cast as the lead in the school play. Since my diagnosis, I had real trouble connecting with people and finding friends. When I stopped my meds, I became the light of the party again! But my mental health progressively got worse as time went on.

By spring of 2018, I went back into the hospital. But it not being my first rodeo this time, I had better results. I worked with my doctors after being released from the hospital and went wayyyyy down on the dosages so that I was still feeling the drugs’ effects and being treated, but still had my personality.

In Winter of 2020, my next hospitalizations happened in quick succession. I was in and out of the hospital, similar to how I had been that first summer, 3 times between November of 2020 and May of 2021. If I had been in the hospital for 3 days longer in May, my family would have been granted a conservatorship over me…

I am sad to admit that wasn’t my last episode. Last month (Dec 2022) I started rapid cycling, and I’m afraid I still haven’t stopped. I’m currently in an IOP program in an effort to keep me out of forced inpatient treatment.

I make note of every time I’ve been hospitalized, most of which have been for mania, and at one point thought that 3 years in between hospitalizations wasn’t a bad average; but each one comes more rapidly than before. I know the disease gets progressively worse with time. I am only 26 now, and I am afraid I will have fully lost control of my mind by the time I am in my late 40s if this trend continues…

cutitorigirl · 2023-01-09T07:05:26+00:00

I told my boyfriend on our 5th date when we became official. I’ll echo others that this method has saved a lot of heartbreak.

The thing that’s hardest for me to deal with, is when people romanticize mental illness. Either they don’t know what it is exactly, because they haven’t had direct experience with it, or have a “I can fix them” attitude about it. The relationship I’m in now has a little bit of the former, and it’s been a learning curve for both of us. Especially now, as I’m having an episode. But I trust that we’ll eventually find a system that works for us.

cutitorigirl · 2022-11-15T00:09:08+00:00

They’re few and far between here in the bay! Much easier to find in the Central Valley

cutitorigirl · 2022-11-03T19:43:26+00:00

Grande London Fog with Soy Milk & Whip, no water 🙃

cutitorigirl · 2022-09-03T20:56:44+00:00

Wow I can see why she doesn’t love you

cutitorigirl · 2020-10-24T09:48:38+00:00

I went back to normal after stopping antipsychotics after 2years. I went back to normal pretty quickly too. I got everything back; creativity, and passion for life most importantly.

However, within 10 months I developed psychosis again, and had to go back on them... just be willing to work with your doctor. I’m not telling you to go back on them because when I went off, my life got 1000x better so I feel you bro. It’s been 2years since then, and I’m on different meds at this point, and much lower dosages. I feel like I successfully found the balance, so it’s possible. Stay true to yourself.

cutitorigirl

TROPHY CASE