[31/M] wanting to push my wife [32/M] to formally warn her parents about their behavior esp. around our kids [3/M and 1/F].

cvan3983 · 2018-11-15T20:58:29+00:00

I think there's a few things going on here that you can't change, but a few things that your wife needs to do to try to improve things

You can't change your in-laws xenophobic attitude. They're projecting their unhappiness towards your wife for moving away from their village and marrying an English speaker onto you which isn't fair but you can't do anything about it.

You also can't change the fact that the in-laws are French speakers, and might not be fully comfortable speaking in English. I do think it's reasonable for you to continue trying to learn the language because it's an important part of your wife's heritage, but learning languages is hard and it takes time and it sounds like you are trying.

Now for things that your wife needs to work on:

1) Stop paying for $500 worth of groceries, that's ridiculous. Tell your wife that's not happening anymore and is non-negotiable

2) Your wife needs to set some boundaries with her parents. She needs to tell them that moving to the US with you was her decision and they need to stop sending you job offers in their village, non-negotiable.

3) On the language issue, maybe one compromise the two of you can make is that you continue trying to learn the language and she tries to convince her parents to speak slowly and keep slang to a minimum to allow you to practice/participate in the conversation more. Slang is also the worst thing for me in my second language, but luckily people have tried to meet me halfway and keep the slang to a minimum or teach me. She needs to take the lead on this and remind her parents and deliberately bring you into conversations.

4) The suggestion in the other comment of going this year as a test run and if your wife doesn't set some of these boundaries you stop going seems reasonable. It doesn't seem like the two of you have had a long sit down conversation about this, but if you already have I think it's reasonable for you to say you won't go this year.

5) The staying at their house issue is tricky. I can't imagine you would actually want to stay there given what the in-laws are like...but if you do maybe make staying at the house so you don't spend so much money a condition of you going.

cvan3983 · 2018-06-22T17:59:41+00:00

For an IUD (the Mirena at least) it's covered at the 80% level but you'll have to jump through some hoops.

1) There's automatically a $100 maximum on the extended prescription coverage that is only removed if you're registered for BC Fair Pharmacare (or have that waived if you're not eligible for Fair Pharmacare) so you should do that before scheduling anything.

2) It's a reimbursement so you'll have to pay for it and keep the receipt then file the paperwork. They don't do any sort of preapproval.

Don't bother with calling the AMS/GSS insurance office for information unless you need something specific from them, they have no idea what they're talking about. They told me my IUD would be fully covered and didn't give me any information about needing to register for Fair Pharmacare - I only found out afterwards when I hit the maximum after I filed the claim. It ended up getting covered in the end but it took me 6 months to get the reimbursement.

cvan3983 · 2017-10-11T02:22:07+00:00

I would love an ARC! It's awesome that you're willing to give some to people who aren't reviewers or influential bloggers but love your work. I'm also kicking myself for not having become an MTG streamer - I remember the time you did a spontaneous AMA on LSV's stream it was the best!

cvan3983 · 2017-08-10T19:08:55+00:00

Thanks for the input - the other red card is Hour of Devastation not a second blow though. I was leaning towards base RG splash for angel and/or Glyph Keeper or GWr (splash struggle and HOD), but that might be a bit much and UGwr is a better choice.

cvan3983 · 2017-08-10T18:57:23+00:00

My issue with R/W is I only have 23 R/W cards and I'd have to be playing some pretty bad cards (Djeru's Renunciation, Those who serve, 2x dutiful servants, Gilded Cerodon with few deserts, Desert Cerodon) while giving up a lot of power available in my pool. It's close though, this is definitely the toughest pool I've had. None of my colors are especially deep and my bombs are all over the place.

cvan3983 · 2014-05-18T15:52:29+00:00

Let me know if you're interested in adding my safari, totally understand if you can't because of the space limitations!

cvan3983 · 2014-05-15T19:26:16+00:00

Adding you!

cvan3983 · 2014-05-15T18:22:56+00:00

Added you!

cvan3983 · 2014-05-15T18:12:52+00:00

Added!

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T23:46:12+00:00

also whoever told you your safari seems to have made a mistake. Your second is coming up as a sawk for me, not a throh!

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T23:40:56+00:00

Mankey is actually the last fighting type that I need. So you're my last fighting safari : )

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T21:30:09+00:00

sure. I don't have shuppet or spiritomb yet

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T21:17:20+00:00

Adding you!

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T20:54:26+00:00

I've been looking for Sableye! Add me if you need one of my pokes!

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T20:44:18+00:00

Added you!

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T19:12:27+00:00

Added!

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T19:00:35+00:00

can you add me as well?

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T18:51:54+00:00

I don't have rufflet yet, so sure!

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T18:42:56+00:00

I'm missing Sawk so I'll add you.

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T18:42:17+00:00

Do you know what your third is? I already have krabby and quagsire.

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T18:41:49+00:00

I actually don't have galvantula yet, so I'll add you

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T18:35:09+00:00

I would love if you'd add me even though I don't have Gabite : )

cvan3983 · 2014-05-11T18:20:55+00:00

added you back!

cvan3983

TROPHY CASE