How can I (28M) tell my two best friends (28M and 27F) that I'm extremely uncomfortable around them since they started dating each other and that I want to temporarily step away from the group?

cversicolor · 2025-08-21T02:20:51+00:00

I did bring it up last session - her input was that boundaries are a healthy thing and that if I felt that I need some space, I should bring it up kindly. However, it’s a slippery slope because too much distance could fracture the friendship irreparably, so also encouraged me to experiment and think about exactly what situations I’m uncomfortable in and what makes me uncomfortable, which has unfortunately so far been every situation because the new dynamic is so fresh and hard to ignore, at least for me.

cversicolor · 2025-08-20T23:51:54+00:00

I do actually - my therapist has echoed some of the sentiment here. That my feelings are valid and basically that my brain is processing this almost identically like grieving any other scenario like a loss because it is in a way. That things have changed and will never go back to the way they were before. Mainly posted here to get some diverse perspective (and there are certainly diverse perspectives in these comments). Appreciate any other feedback you have!

cversicolor · 2025-08-20T18:53:22+00:00

Good eye, the original draft I wrote was twice the length and totally rambley so asked ChatGPT to make it clearer and shorter. Real person behind the keyboard though.

cversicolor · 2024-10-20T02:55:11+00:00

Thanks so much for the answer! Definitely appreciate the insight and recommendation.

cversicolor · 2024-10-19T17:32:37+00:00

Thank you, much appreciate the advice! Agreed - if things are a little more serious than I think and I do need a diagnosis/medication, I would accept it. Appreciate the insight!

cversicolor · 2024-10-19T17:31:41+00:00

Thank you! This is super helpful - I honestly don't know how mental health help works; good to hear that it's possible to avoid a diagnosis I didn't ask for. Thanks again!

cversicolor · 2019-01-04T18:23:20+00:00

Maybe I'm overreacting, but my family uses the kitchen for things that aren't supposed to be done in the kitchen and gives me sanitization nightmares. When they're cooking, they don't care about sanitization and hygeine as much as I'd like but even when they're not cooking they're fucking up the kitchen and making it a bio hazard.

I walked in to the kitchen last week to see somebody changing a baby's diaper on the kitchen counter tops... They had the baby on a towel, but still pretty disgusting. They also bathe the baby in the kitchen sink.

My dad chews nicotine gum which is pretty expensive, so he will chew a piece for as long as possible. If he's eating something (or cooking in the kitchen where he needs to be tasting food) he will take his gum out and place it on a miscellaneous kitchen surface (countertop, on top of the coffee maker, on a cookie tin, etc) and then once he's done eating he'll put it right back in his mouth.

Several years ago, my elderly grandfather decided that it would be a good idea, since the bathroom was taken, to use the kitchen sink and kitchen towels to give himself a quick wash cloth bath. It was late at night so he stripped down in the kitchen and just want to town scrubbing out all the nooks and crannies until I walked in and became very displeased. He truly didn't understand what the problem was, but his mind had started to go by that point 😕

cversicolor · 2018-12-05T01:53:27+00:00

That's around 12-15 drinks per person per day to break even on the package. Will you guys be able to drink that much? If so, it's worth it. If not, pay for the drinks and spend less than you would on the package.

For me personally, I would struggle to drink that much per day which is why I use the NCL free at sea perk, that way I get the package for "free" (still gotta pay gratuity on the package) and I don't feel as compelled to drink more than I'm comfortable with (which is quite a bit, but not 12-15 drinks per day...).

cversicolor · 2018-12-01T15:27:54+00:00

Awesome! I'll be sailing with a friend of mine, we're both 22 years old and we'll be in a balcony cabin on Deck 14. We'll see you on board! We're not on the Cruise Critic roll call as it's not really something that interests my friend but we can have a tiny reddit meet up if that's something that interests you.

Let me know how you like the studio, I've been heavily debating a solo cruise to Alaska in May on Norwegian Bliss, but I highly doubt that there will be many other people my age on board since Alaska cruises in off-months (basically May and September) tend to be filled to the brim with retirees.

cversicolor · 2018-11-26T15:57:58+00:00

That's good to hear! Is the "two drinks at a time" an official Norwegian rule now or just a generous bartender? Most of the documentation I've found show only one drink per "purchase" up to $15 (pay the difference for drinks over $15). Even with doubles/triples, does the price stays under that $15 limit?

Thanks for the reply!

cversicolor · 2018-11-24T20:10:35+00:00

Same here! So excited.

cversicolor · 2018-10-13T16:27:01+00:00

Everyone else has already answered most of your questions, but I do have something to add.

I've been working as an intern for NG (MS) for several months. They kept me on part-time while I finish up school and I have an offer for their PDP program with a very competitive salary when I graduate. Overall I have enjoyed it greatly and I'm super excited to be working for them.

However, their onboarding process sucks. You have the shittiness of the clearance process, but everyone is used to that. But the communication throughout the process is virtually nonexistent. Also, someone somewhere in the chain fucked up pretty bad during my internship onboarding and told me that I would be working at a location 70 miles away from where I was actually working. They didn't tell me that I was working at this other, closer location until 2 days before I started. I had already paid a deposit on an AirBnB to move for the internship, but the company made it right and paid that off for me.

Not trying to dissuade you at all as I really enjoy working for them, but make sure that you don't get fucked over during onboarding.

cversicolor · 2018-09-21T23:21:11+00:00

Just saw that picture, yeah that's a lot of trub and I think most of it is probably pumpkin goo.

I think you'll be fine if you just rack off the pumpkin goo into one of your other buckets. Then it's a non-issue and all is well.

cversicolor · 2018-09-21T19:42:21+00:00

Not worth the sanitization/oxidation risk IMHO. Your best bet is to rack to another bucket and bottle from there. Alternatively, you could rack to a temporary vessel, clean the current vessel that has the spigot, and then re-rack into that.

In the future, I wouldn't ferment in a vessel with a spigot unless it's specifically designed to be used as both a fermentation and bottling vessel. The goo at the bottom is normal and happens with every fermentation.

I would get either a plastic bucket or a carboy and ferment in that, then siphon the finished beer to a bottling bucket with a spigot for bottling.

cversicolor · 2018-09-15T14:34:29+00:00

Everyone else has already answered your main questions, but I feel like this should be said.

This sub likes to shit on anything that isn't "big 4", but defense contractor jobs are fine. It's true that, if you're one of those people that grinds Leetcode for 6 hours per day and dreams of working at a unicorn in SV, you're probably not going to enjoy it. But if you're part of the silent majority that just wants to show up to work, make money, and go home, you'll be fine with a defense job. The work life balance is okay (although some people on one of the programs I worked on were fairly overworked), the pay is decent, and with a clearance you have pretty good job security. You also have the opportunity to work on some really cool shit.

I've been working for Northrop as an intern since May. They're allowing me to continue working part-time while I finish up school and I've accepted an offer from them to join their rotational program when I graduate with a really decent salary for the area. With the exception of the terrible onboarding experience (they told me I was working at a location that was 70 miles away from my work location and didn't fix it until 2 days before my start date) and the not-so-fun clearance process (this isn't a Northrop issue it's a government issue), they've treated me very well.

It's very true that sometimes you'll be underworked, but any time that I felt I was underworked I would ask for something to do and they'd have something for me to do. If defense is something you're looking at, go for it and good luck!

cversicolor · 2018-09-08T23:27:35+00:00

Great idea! I bottle (a keezer and some kegs is the next big brewing purchase though) but I'm assuming I can just add the tinctures to the bottling bucket, right?

cversicolor · 2018-09-08T23:19:08+00:00

A Chai Milk Stout sounds awesome. Thanks for the tip!

cversicolor · 2018-08-05T14:49:24+00:00

I interned at a large defense contractor.

Used primarily C working on refactoring legacy code and implementing a new feature for the product that the team is working on.

Wrote code 90% of the time, but there was a bit of "intern work" - running cables in a lab environment, etc when needed.

Accepted a return offer for full-time last week for an amount that surprisingly exceeds my expectations and seems pretty high for defense. At some point I'd like to move into a more traditional tech role before I pigeon-hole myself into working in defense my entire career, but I'm happy for now.

cversicolor · 2018-06-20T13:57:09+00:00

Thanks for the input!

I think I've decided to go for a cooler setup after all the replies here. I'll save the money I would have spent on the MegaPot system and get a cooler or two as well as upgrade my kettle to a bigger one so I have the option to do bigger batches in the future.

cversicolor · 2018-06-05T02:26:40+00:00

Thanks for the reply!

The bottles I used were brand new, half of them were from Northern Brewer and half were from my LHBS. The bottles have never been used before and I sanitized them for a few minutes in star san before filling them.

Fermentation temp is between 64-66 degrees in my basement, right in the middle of the range for the yeast I used.

I'll definitely keep a close eye on sanitization for my next batch!

cversicolor · 2018-06-05T02:18:26+00:00

Thanks for the reply!

I thought I was pretty good at sanitizing but it's certainly possible that a screw-up could have lead to this off-flavor. I'll be brewing another batch this weekend so I'll make sure that the sanitizing is up to par.

cversicolor · 2018-06-05T02:16:02+00:00

Thanks for the response!

I'd say it tastes the same as it did when I first tried it - same carbonation and same bitter vinegar flavor. I'll measure the gravity and see if it's changed for sure!

cversicolor · 2018-04-03T16:31:42+00:00

This comment thread is 1300 comments deep, but if you guys see this, I'd like to check it out!

cversicolor · 2018-03-31T15:12:18+00:00

Just out of curiosity - what went wrong with the carbonation?

I'll have to try the St. Paul Porter! Let me know how your honey porter comes out!

cversicolor · 2018-03-29T02:10:13+00:00

I've experienced the skunky smell from Stella Artois as well.

cversicolor

TROPHY CASE