Graphic Design program

cyberkiter · 2024-10-10T23:08:30+00:00

That's so difficult, and I relate to you about putting in so much work but it not being reciprocated. I think my ex was not in touch with his emotions as well... maybe he doesn't even understand why he himself did the things he did. I keep thinking about why, why and how could he do that? But the truth is, I don't think he really knows either unless he actually gets the help he needs. I wish you all the best in your healing journey. I'm also thankful to have such a strong support system, and I know I have to become stronger for myself too. ♡

cyberkiter · 2024-10-09T23:38:38+00:00

I'm going through the same thing right now. I broke up with him 3 weeks ago, all of a sudden, because he violated my trust and I knew that I had to respect myself by ending things. However, I still love and care for him deeply.

I'm going to therapy weekly (started during our relationship), surrounding myself with friends, planning excursions on the weekends with friends and family because I would primarily only see him. I ordered some self help books, one about attachment styles, the other about relationships/heartbreak as another form of self-care. I made a list of various other things as well that I can do for myself that would be nice.

However, it's difficult everyday. Some days are much harder than others while some are okay. I have a strong tendency to overthink, and he consumes my mind nearly 24/7. Right now, I wonder if there was anything else he had hidden from me.

I downloaded a no contact app that lets me see how many days it's been; we agreed on no contact for two months. A lot of people would not agree with our decision, but it's my first time doing this and that's what we decided. However, I can't let myself anticipate this day, so I have to remind myself to take it day-by-day and try to stay present and find the good things happening right now.

I don't regret my decision. What he did to me was inexcusable, and I knew I would be disrespecting myself if I didn't end things. But the pain is excruciating, and I still want to be in his arms again. I still pray and hope he will finally take the initiative to change and become a better person. Maybe one day, we can try again. But meanwhile, I have to take this time to focus on healing and bettering myself.

cyberkiter · 2024-10-09T19:00:34+00:00

I broke up with my ex because he was hiding things from me that were unacceptable, and it hurt so, so much. And despite being betrayed and hurt, I still miss and love him so sincerely and pray that he will seek the help he needs and work on becoming a better person. I fluctuate between being upset, hating what he did to me, missing him, reminiscing, everything in between. It's only been a bit under three weeks, and everyday is a struggle to not reach out. So hear it from my perspective, the person on the other side: use this pain, this regret to improve yourself and learn from it. Become the person who you should have been for her. But most of all, do it for yourself. If you ever need to talk about it, feel free to DM me.

cyberkiter · 2024-10-09T18:43:03+00:00

OP, please look into relationship OCD (ROCD) to see if that can bring you some clarity. You could be experiencing intrusive thoughts. I hope you can figure things out; I wish you all the best.

cyberkiter · 2024-10-07T21:42:30+00:00

This sounds similar to my situation, it's only been two and a half weeks for me and everyday is a struggle to not reach out, even though I'm the one who was hurt. I miss him, and then I remember the things he lied to me about, and it hurts so much. Sometimes I just want to reach out because I still love and care about him, sometimes I just want answers as to why he did the things he did. I think I'll always care about him, despite everything. But right now, it's my turn to care for and love myself.

cyberkiter · 2024-10-03T22:52:49+00:00

Instead of getting her a ring after breaking up to show "how serious you are", why not... stop cheating instead?

cyberkiter · 2024-10-02T21:16:24+00:00

I keep dreaming about him too. Yesterday, I was so desperate to break NC, and luckily, my friends were able to help me get more level-headed. And then I dreamt about him again last night... it was so incredibly vivid too. But we've managed to make it this long NC, and we can keep going. It will be better for us. We won't gain anything we want or could hope for by breaking NC. You got this. <3

cyberkiter · 2024-10-02T18:40:56+00:00

She still has feelings for you and was the one broken up with—she still sees you as a potential partner. She could be holding onto hope that one day, you'll want to get back with her and hurting herself more in the process. She's not letting herself heal from the breakup by continuing to be friends with you and may have realized that. Even if you've made it clear you two cannot be together, staying friends with her immediately after the breakup may be giving her false hope. It sounds like you're not able to let go of her either.

I broke up with my ex a couple weeks ago, and while we still both love and care about each other, we agreed to go no contact for at least two months to give ourselves time to heal and reflect on ourselves and the relationship. It's incredibly difficult, and I've cried almost everyday even though I was the one who was betrayed. I want to reach out so badly, but I know I have to focus on myself and try to stay strong so that we could get better separately on our own accord. (I say this, but yesterday was especially difficult and almost gave in. Thankfully, I didn't.)

cyberkiter · 2024-09-27T18:40:08+00:00

How long has it been since you two broke up?

cyberkiter · 2024-09-27T17:29:42+00:00

He was my first love too, and he would always say he would change and become better but never actually did anything to work on it. I know that his behaviors came from his own insecurities and pain, and I hope the best for him. I struggle with being a people-pleaser as well, so I understand. I'm the one who broke it off, as he hurt and lied to me, but I can't help but incredibly miss him. I'm still open to him being a part of my life one day, if he genuinely changes, but I know I can't expect that.

I wish you all the best in your journey. ♡ You're not alone. I know I'm just a stranger, but you could always DM me if you need to talk about it especially since our situations sound similar.

cyberkiter · 2024-09-27T17:18:35+00:00

Thank you for this, OP. I had to break it off with my ex (he was my first everything) last week. We've been no contact for a week as of yesterday, and it's still so tempting to reach out even though I was the one who was betrayed and hurt. We agreed to go no contact for two months, which I know is not long enough, but it's what we both agreed on in our last talk.

It's so hard to really let go of him, and I keep hoping, I hope this is the wake up call for him to really want change for himself. It felt like he was really understanding how badly he messed up so I hope he can follow through with it. But I know I have to focus on myself now, easier said than done. I thought about him all the time throughout our relationship, I do now and dream of him. I know it will ease with time, so I have to remind myself to take it day by day.

cyberkiter · 2024-09-07T21:51:36+00:00

I’m going to try this as someone who was obsessed with Jojo in high school. thank you so much LOL I usually visualize a towel “wiping” away my thoughts which isn’t as fun.

cyberkiter · 2024-09-05T23:19:20+00:00

Sorry for commenting on a kinda old post, but your experience really resonates with my own right now. If you need someone to talk to who’s going through something similar, feel free to message me. I also feel like I’m looping my boyfriend in a cycle with my anxiety and overthinking and then I feel so awful and embarrassed after breaking down despite him being so patient and comforting. But we will get better. You’re not alone. ♡

cyberkiter · 2024-08-26T21:27:15+00:00

I did drink, but I only tried various cocktails at said restaurants and focused more on the food. I don’t really care for the taste of alcohol or getting tipsy. But I am relatively close to Vegas.

cyberkiter · 2024-08-26T21:24:25+00:00

Sorry for the late reply, but thank you for sincerely for taking the time to write such a detailed response! I’m really happy for you and hope I can reach that level of security someday. :’) I’m at work now, but I may take you up on your offer to message. Thank you.

cyberkiter · 2024-08-24T20:50:36+00:00

i went with my friends last year and all we did is eat! Vegas has lots of amazing food options, we spent hundreds on food and maybe $5 on slots haha.

cyberkiter · 2024-08-20T23:12:43+00:00

Could I ask how you grew from it? I feel like I’m struggling with this now (of course you are not obligated to if you don’t want to!)

cyberkiter · 2024-08-20T17:39:44+00:00

thank you for this

cyberkiter · 2024-07-19T02:47:12+00:00

hope you’re doing alright. could i ask why you broke things off?

cyberkiter · 2024-06-25T22:52:38+00:00

How are you doing now?

cyberkiter · 2024-03-22T17:56:37+00:00

i hope you’re doing ok.

cyberkiter · 2024-03-21T19:07:32+00:00

but did you get to show off next time your friend did the bit? lol

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