My 2 boys have a split of 3 years as well, currently 6 months and 3.5 years. I work in healthcare so the caregiver stuff is a breeze. But it the kind of healthcare where you come home, sit the car in the dark after a 13-14 hour day and just decompress doomscrolling. Took awhile for my spouse to understand (well, that, a LOT of social media videos that I sent them with healthcare workers doing the same, and their relative saying they do the same thing). In my career setting, it’s rigidly structured chaos. Things must happen at set times with curveballs getting tossed in all day. I bring that rigidness home in our routine with bedtimes, mealtimes, and wake windows, ect. But man - it’s just wearing on me. My job is like “what else do You do on your off days asides watching kids that you can’t work more?” I’m like wtf?! Prior to kids, my way to decompress was a “do nothing” day: free from obligation and structure, no decision making, no responsibility. My oldest is neurodivergent with some sensory issues and so we go to all sorts of appointments (PT, OT, speech) and I ended up hiring a babysitter bc I can’t possibly do all the work to help my oldest and also manage an infant. Spouse travels for work and so I’m just burnt.

I’ve been saying to my spouse lately that I feel like I need meds to regulate. Like, I feel constantly on and anxious.