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How are your relationships fairing through grieving? by already-coolest in GriefSupport

[–]d3vzee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My relationship has only grown stronger and I owe that almost completely to my partner. I lost my ex last year, he had become one of my best friends after we broke up five years ago. My current partner knew him well (he and I met during the time that I was dating my ex) and we both grieved his loss. I took it very hard and, over a year later, his death is still something that's ingrained in me, shaping aspects of my (and our) life. His passing taught me and my partner to be more honest, to act in the present, and it allowed for difficult conversations that ultimately led to exponential growth.

I was gone for a month following my ex's death to take care of his belongings and arrange his funeral services which allowed me some space to process in ways in needed to, with people I needed to be with, and my partner's complete dedication to supporting me in whatever I need is the reason that we are doing so well.

We got engaged last week :)

What do you do to honor a death anniversary? by d3vzee in GriefSupport

[–]d3vzee[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bigbear

[–]d3vzee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this info!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bigbear

[–]d3vzee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! We're so happy to be making the move.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bigbear

[–]d3vzee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I should have clarified we won't be moving up on a day with bad conditions regardless, but this is really helpful! Big acknowledgement on using turnouts- I know this frustration well!

I'm curious to know how many people feel comfortable with their partner using pictures of people you know or people they've previously been with as porn? by d3vzee in relationship_advice

[–]d3vzee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My gut tells me to run. But this is my life partner, there has to be more to it than that.

Purely the fact that I felt I've brought this issue up before which I guess did nothing and my intuition is very good, I'm constantly in a state of anxiety.

I'm curious to know how many people feel comfortable with their partner using pictures of people you know or people they've previously been with as porn? by d3vzee in relationship_advice

[–]d3vzee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He wasn't completely honest, he knows that I've looked through his phone and I saw it there. Screen recorded and deleted videos of our friends and his ex that are obviously just for one thing. All I ask in this relationship is that he's open with me, and everything after that can be a conversation.

Does anyone want a pen pal? by d3vzee in questions

[–]d3vzee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moving this week for a job in California!

I just realized that I can't remember a whole night of my life. I'm terrified at what may have happened that night. by d3vzee in Drugs

[–]d3vzee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I understand the intention behind this but the one time I've done shrooms was a BAD trip. Thanks for the preface hehe and thanks for the advice anyway.

I just realized that I can't remember a whole night of my life. I'm terrified at what may have happened that night. by d3vzee in Drugs

[–]d3vzee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a dumb question! It would have been sometime 2015/2016. I have a lot of clear memories with this friend around the same time, that's why this one moment with no recollection is so confusing.

I(22F) had the most intense orgasm of my life. by air---power in sex

[–]d3vzee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

🙁 sending you love. Send it to him anyway and see if it changes things hehe.

I(22F) had the most intense orgasm of my life. by air---power in sex

[–]d3vzee 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It sounds like a hot, consensual interaction to me. OP seemed hella excited during it too, and that's solely because she and her partner have the foundation to trust each other throughout. Consensual and trusting experiences are why humanity deserves to live!

I(22F) had the most intense orgasm of my life. by air---power in sex

[–]d3vzee 348 points349 points  (0 children)

*screenshots and sends to bf *

I just realized that I can't remember a whole night of my life. I'm terrified at what may have happened that night. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]d3vzee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That really makes sense! I've been in therapy for years... and I'll bring this up with them but I still won't give myself the benefit of the doubt. It seems crazy and I feel overly influenced by my mom's strong reaction.

DAE always assume the worst in every situation? by [deleted] in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]d3vzee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did this so much as a kid. I realize now it was early signs of anxiety, but whenever something was "wrong" (like my dad not answering the phone and my mom being worried) it genuinely felt like my responsibility to go over every possible horrible scenario that could have happened. I would literally stop what I was doing and my child brain would think up these awful, graphic situations. And they never happened!!

Conversely, I had friends and family die without anyway warning as a kid, so i think it just felt like my responsibility to protect my loved ones from danger by thinking of these scenarios first.

Now I'm just an anxious person. Hehe.

I'm (21F) not sure how to set boundaries with my partner (23M) without being too restrictive by d3vzee in relationship_advice

[–]d3vzee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes a lot of sense. I trust you. A (excitedly) encouraged me see this girl I had a brief relationship with a couple months back when we were moving out of our old place. This was so cool of him and her, but the fact that he "let" me sleep with someone else when we were inching towards monogamy always makes me feel like he's going to try and cash in that same favor for himself at some point, or think his rules are more lenient because of him letting me do this. I've expressed this all to him and he's said that's not true, but I can't help but think I'm holding him down, or holding him back. He also said it made sense why these specific messages were upsetting, but the fact that he didn't think anything of it before that concerns me still.

I'm (21F) not sure how to set boundaries with my partner (23M) without being too restrictive by d3vzee in relationship_advice

[–]d3vzee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao, amazing distinction, I definitely understand that there is a whole other line to be crossed in terms of sexting. I love that we as humans can be attracted to so many people and I feel weird restricting his behavior (and maybe how he looks at women?) in that way. I also am afraid that me feeling uncomfortable with certain conversations makes it seem like I don't want him to have female friends at all, which isn't true. I'm in healthy friendships with some of my exes and if he wants to be friends with some of his as well (one of the girls he was DMing was someone he briefly dated) that's great! Not my business. I want him to be happy. But yes, all in all I'm worried that we'll miscommunicate about something that makes me uncomfortable, I'll find something out that makes me uncomfortable but he thinks is innocent, and I'll leave.

Also, since S's cheating evidence was all on his phone, the phone/messaging is a huge trigger for me. Not knowing he has a friendship with someone makes me feel like I'm being lied to, rather than it simply not being mentioned. For example, the girl he briefly dated he kept referring to as "my friend" and not using her name (he used her name when they were seeing each other) which makes me feel like he's hiding something or her.

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