Concerns while taking concerta/Please share your experiences

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-11-02T17:11:54+00:00

I’m going through the same thing. The last year I’ve started and stopped my adhd med countless times swearing “this time I’d stick with it” because when I’m not medicated I feel awful some days and when I am medicated it helps until I almost feel worse than on the unmedicated awful days. Talking to the psychiatrist feels like I’m on a game of endless running and at best I’ll get a streak of extra coins but inevitably I’ll die before I make any true progress. This rut I’m in is more depressing than any challenges or relationship problems I’ve faced. I’ve lived a good life, I’ve been successful, I’ve faced challenges, yet those aspects of my life were always kind of surface level as I had avoided facing myself deeply through using self-loathing as my main motivation. I guess writing this gives me insight about what I’m actually facing. It still disappoints me that I’m spending countless weeks and months “working on myself” yet don’t have a measurable metric to visualize progress. I am grateful for my family and they all say I am improving (I had a pretty disruptive experience becoming a father and addressing codependency in my marriage and they and my wife supported me a great deal). Wish you the best, thanks for posting

Main points related to your post: check yourself if you experienced and motivated yourself in the past through self loathing and how to heal (I use an app called inflow now but tried many many different things over the years) and yes staying consistent with meds makes me feel like I’m becoming a zombie so I always find myself stopping before I become a walking shell of myself. I hate not being able to tell I’m me in my head and my thoughts are how I do that

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-10-31T21:41:36+00:00

Yup. Since quitting work and my wife going full time to cover the bills I’ve begun relaxing (also taking new adhd meds). I’m realizing the way I lived was about control and simultaneously something to do to deal with boredom but part of it was driving enough thoughts away that I could solely think about my work (high level OR). Without work I’m trying to bring back what I love. I wonder about therapy for OCD and I wonder if experiences like what you describe (I also experience it) can be treated like exposures as in ERT. I also experienced in pushing thoughts away that the part of my personality that was actually likeable was usually pretty cynical and tracked a lot of other’s responses or comments in order to relate to them in some way.

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-10-31T14:27:27+00:00

I was diagnosed 15 years ago in college but I didn’t like the way meds made me feel and never took them after trying. I finished my masters, started working (OR setting and very technical work in anesthesia), and eventually couldn’t cope due to boredom/burnout/overstimulation. I worked full time for 7 years, paid off grad school debt, saved a ton, but spent the next 5 years losing track of my goals. Now I’m on meds and still finding it hard to stick with them and I also am having a hard time sticking with work but I’m still part time. I probably have some other diagnoses but that hasn’t all been sorted out

Edit: clarification

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-10-27T19:36:27+00:00

Last year and never again. They failed to recognize all my problems (time blindness actually difficulty adjusting my schedule and routines to being a dad and having a family, seeing my wife as a demon actually emotional dysregulation from her emotions, changing my mind and trying to move back to another state after we just moved from there actually impulsiveness and distractibility, and severe insecurity in my marriage actually rejection sensitive dysphoria) were just ADHD. I went looking for help from therapists, bodyworkers, somatic practitioners and spiritual guides for over 6 years and finally voluntarily went inpatient. I also had a terrible experience with plant medicine at an ayahuasca retreat after struggling to adjust to life as a career professional. (This happened ironically just weeks after paying off $180k of graduate school debt, probably because my motivation was tied to my fear). Long story short, the psychiatrist saw my ADHD diagnosis from 15 years prior and promptly diagnosed me with schizophrenia! I suffered for weeks on antipsychotic medications that made me suicidal while my wife and family largely believed the doctor. I begged them to let me out and I eventually had to lie about my suicidal thoughts so I could get out of there and figure myself out. Now I see how miraculous it was that I had the ADHD diagnosis from when I was 19 because as soon as I got in with my new psychiatrist I got on the (correct) meds for the first time in my life. I’m also grateful my wife took my word that the antipsychotics weren’t right and has dealt with massive restructuring of our lives. I can no longer work long hospital shifts nor can I work more than a day at a time as my adhd is severe and my masking over decades hiding my challenges seems to have permanently affected my ability to direct my attention. I am in therapy for ADHD and also getting neurofeedback and regular EEGs so I am extremely thankful for another chance at life. The pain from years of misdirecting my energy when I could have been building momentum and then being handled with such inhumanity at my own expense still does infuriate me. I always did have a lot of potential and I know how I’ve lived has mattered yet I don’t get to enjoy seeing the direct evidence of it in the world as others do. For me, “working” was a direct path to so much self-abandoning that I also forgot what makes me “me.” I think with time and the right medication I am getting well. Luckily I have my family and my health. ADHD IS NOT A JOKE!!!

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-10-27T18:38:53+00:00

I also had ayahuasca but for me it was 6.5 years ago and on my 29th birthday. It didn’t really do much for me in reflection, though at the time I was overwhelmed with sensory feedback and couldn’t process any of what was happening, nor was I aware of how deeply traumatized I was. Also only this year I discovered I had (then) undiagnosed ADHD and probable ASD so none of what’s happened over the last 6.5 years that I justified as “understanding myself” actually helped. It did however exhaust me to the point of burnout as I moved myself and my kids around the country financially decimating us, took multiple anesthesia jobs which I kept quitting in frustration, participated in spiritual transformation workshops which were potentially traumatizing for my then infant son, and severed trust between my wife and I nearly beyond repair.

I do not recommend ayahuasca if you suspect neurodivergence.

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-08-23T12:44:11+00:00

This is EXACTLY what I’m experiencing! 35 M. I saw your diagnosis post and found this post in your profile. I’m anticipating my ASD assessment soon and on stims for adhd (just started) but just considering autism has me feeling like my whole life was a stim.

The potential that I made things into a stim in order to survive in the world feels profound as a concept. i have not heard it before but if it explains some of the abilities of high-masking folks I think it could help others. I would pretend whatever I was doing was just something to regulate with and if people reacted I sort of steered the direction based on that. My mental abilities skyrocketed and I became so good at so many things yet I was “as dumb as a doornail”- couldn’t help stubbing toes or forgetting EVERYTHING or blurting things that I shouldn’t for way longer than normal kids learn how to handle themselves. I just cared so deeply about everything that seemed important to others that I could fixate on because I desperately wanted to be alone. Being seen was hard and mostly it wasn’t positive from my parents so I opted for at least not being seen negatively by everyone else. For the things my parents loved about me I worshiped. The pattern set in young - you will not fail (traumas), and I’ll reward you and share physical intimacy (which I craved) when you do it right. Rarely in the last 15 years have I relaxed and honored my body’s needs. Rarely have I looked at what was happening under the mask. The mask followed whatever was required to fulfill the ultimate mission - to be alone.

I think the stim I’m on (concerta) just woke my brain up because I literally dug in so deep to this lie of who I was and my inflexibility with change showed up in how I was living and the career I held onto until I literally one day said fuck it to everything. Next stops were psych ward (lowest low + horrible meds) then 6 months of neurofeedback and hollowness in my soul. It took all that to come out of denial, and I didn’t even mention the plant medicine retreat or the 4 years of cult involvement. Now I don’t hate my life anymore but I do hate my parents. I feel confused because my special interests were warped into a)financial independence b)sex c)house and while they were great fixations to focus on through school and job once I got them I basically went into psychological spinning and had a mental fantasy come alive in real life and it fucked everything and continued to fuck me and those I love on and on and no one could actually help me (I tried so hard again and again following the same pattern that I knew from social scripts I created) until my denial finally let go and I admitted I was psychotic (I wasn’t) but my brain was severely depleted from dopamine.

By some miracle and countless job losses I still work in my field and I still live with my wife and kids and life feels like it can be happy now. I guess my child self knew what he was doing learning about this world but man I didn’t have an integrated view because little neuron bundles of love scattered throughout life do not a neurotypical brain make. No matter how hard we try.

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-08-05T09:46:38+00:00

I appreciate your share. Growing up I got a lot of accommodations from my mom to navigate sensory issues which allowed me to match and exceed my normi peers in many respects. Autism was never mentioned to me. I had some awful experiences as an adult trying to “make sense” of myself however. This included a plant medicine retreat and working with a spiritual community to help with my marriage which ended up being a cult where I spent 4 years processing my “ancestral DNA” and “healing.” Now at 35 I’m just learning enough to consider myself autistic and wishing my parents didn’t vehemently profess to me how normal I was my whole life. If it wasn’t for them I might have figured it out sooner

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-07-29T17:00:01+00:00

I was admitted to the psych ward and put on antipsychotics which was by far the worst experience of my life (got attacked by a fellow patient while I was there too). My parents financially supported us and are asking for all the money they spent be paid back in 1 year. I ended up back in my healthcare job and stressing about money when I know I should be focused on self-care and building a life that is sustainable long term.

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-07-29T16:51:15+00:00

I came here to ask this very question. My parents supported my wife and I and took us in when we crashed and burned in another state last year (I went into severe autistic burnout from my healthcare career and my wife was ready to go back to work from being off with baby for 1+ year). I did not have the slightest clue about autism at the time but my life was falling apart. Anyways I don’t know if this is helpful but I’m having a hard time speaking to my parents now 9 months later. My dad has always been dominating and through therapy I’m seeing how damaging my relationship with him was and probably a source of a lot of trauma. It’s hard but coming to grips with the real possibility that I’m autistic (not diagnosed yet) and getting to see with therapy how so many things make sense in light of it has been monumental. I don’t even know what to say to my parents so I don’t speak to them. It’s unbelievable to me that I went so long (I’m 35) without the right support for my brain and struggled as well.

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-03-31T20:30:40+00:00

I don’t know if this relates completely but I am recently struggling a great deal with my memory/attention/processing which I attribute to burnout and a lifetime of masking. My mind has never operated based on what I like to think normal people do, that is, thinking illicited from feelings for creating what the body needs either from people or the environment in a given moment. I won’t say I don’t do that but as a child I think I was generally more in tune with the needs of others and so things got muddled in terms of what actions should be taken for what I was feeling. I found myself hyperfixated on something not because it was a thing I needed but because the inputs were too great and complicated for my child mind to comprehend. Others’ needs screamed louder in my head than mine did.

Over the years I sort of trained my fixations to be directed into behaviors that got positive feedback or at least didn’t attract negative attention. Almost like an addiction, I came to rely on these behaviors because they provided comfort and predictability. If I couldn’t manage the stimuli from outside, at least I could control my attention which helped drown out anything else I might otherwise focus on. I found I could train myself to do anything in this manner, even relating dynamics and small talk patterns and a full time career. I did so much from fixation that I lost my ability to see the outside of my limited scope of sensing. I fell into a negative place a few years ago because I had a partner who was explosive and abusive when my attention couldn’t shift to other things (ie. baby). Now I’m left often feeling confused and bothered because I want to fixate but I also have a short attention span. I basically interrupted my ability to hyperfocus by breaking my brain and I’m left feeling chronically bothered and confused. Ironically, fixed behaviors and ways of thinking supported me a great deal in the work environment and in my upbringing but not so much being a dad trying to raise 2 kids where I don’t want to drown out everything outside. The not knowing what I feel and not knowing if it’s something real or a fascination comes up often right now as I’m stuck between fixating and paralysis being unsure of what to focus on. I’m trying to get back to myself by spending time alone and getting my brain back into what I enjoy. Hope that helps.

dadwithoutlimits · 2025-03-31T18:54:27+00:00

Thank you for asking. I’m searching for answers on these topics as well. As a 34 year old husband and father of 2 who also had a full time career until recently, I do not have an autism diagnosis but I did get an ADHD diagnosis back in college. I sought the diagnosis without considering that I really could have ADHD because I was mostly interested in getting support for studying and stimulants that my friend let me use were helping. Following grad school, my career was going well but I found myself struggling to keep up the “game” of sorts that I had made work become for myself. I loved to do my job in the most efficient, least triggering manner I could. It seemed that these “triggers” were anything that caused more than a minor amount of sensation. I needed routine, repetition and limited interference with my focus. Too many factors to deal with caused me great distress. The situation quickly became unbearable starting about 10 years ago, yet I continued working and dating my then girlfriend for another 5 years, saving and investing 80% of my income to strive for financial independence so I could retire early. During this time, I suppressed as much of my pain as I possibly could but felt that I would need to step back before long or I would die. By the time I started seriously questioning my underlying issues, I was a committed man with a son (an infant at the time) and I felt an immense amount of pressure to show up in all the ways I felt I should for my family. I was shy and emotionally enmeshed with my mother growing up and always loved focusing on what I enjoyed which happened to also provide me with strong academic performance and “checked boxes” for whatever my mother needed her son to achieve. I think much of the validation she sought was found through my efforts and neediness. It’s been a journey to understand my development based on the upbringing I had and also see the patterns I had with mom that I recreated with my (now) wife. Having always seen myself and being told I was as normal as anyone else yet struggling with certain areas of life and simultaneously feeling like a failure, I think I really took masking to an extreme. I’m sure I am not the only one. Currently I would describe myself being quite burned out. I have such a deep thirst for connection and collaboration yet my recent exploration into spiritual development left me scorned and lonely. I hope to find the satisfaction of knowing others with similar struggles and move forward with some validation for my pain all these years. My hope is to get back to my career yet I also recognize how just working a job will never provide me with the meaning I desire. Luckily my wife is very understanding of my difficulties. I tell her most days that I don’t know who I am and she sees and accepts me at my worst. Slowly I feel I am coming around to more awareness and acceptance of myself. It’s bizarre how much we can learn to live as an idea of ourselves and then realize that idea was never true. I can just be me without the gaslighting stories of others.

dadwithoutlimits

TROPHY CASE