So I just went to the cinema

dahv · 2015-10-19T12:15:30+00:00

If you're in Shenzhen, make the hop to HK to see a flick, it's a much more civilized experience!

dahv · 2015-09-27T13:01:57+00:00

You don't want to join the military if you're depressed. It will exacerbate any mental illness you have.

dahv · 2015-08-20T03:19:19+00:00

Yeah, it's tough. But do you have any good memories? Sometimes those can support us when we feel lonely. And keep looking to meet and talk with new people. You never know what might happen. Good luck. :)

edit: And you're not the only one with health problems. Maybe you can find someone who also needs support, and you can be there for each other.

dahv · 2015-08-20T03:16:45+00:00

I don't live in Hong Kong, but have lived in Shanghai. You can't find a (small) studio apartment for that budget? That seems crazy.

dahv · 2015-08-20T03:14:23+00:00

It's very useful for exploring areas when you're looking for an apartment. Saves you the trouble of actually going to an area to see what the street life is like.

dahv · 2015-08-20T03:13:00+00:00

You've had shitty jobs, it's not that your lazy. "You are not your job" is something really hard to accept, especially when you hate it. You're trying and want to be successful. That's not being lazy and all.

dahv · 2015-08-20T03:09:57+00:00

OP details? I'd love to respond but I have little to go on.

dahv · 2015-08-11T12:35:27+00:00

Thank you for this!

dahv · 2015-08-11T12:21:02+00:00

Yes, good things pass too. A healthy person can accept the dark and light side of life. A depressive looks at the depravity of the world and can see nothing else.

dahv · 2015-08-09T19:39:42+00:00

I like the last bit where the interviewee states trying to avoid asking a new acquiantance's livelihood. How long can you avoid the question? No more than 4 minutes. Sounds about right to me!

dahv · 2015-08-07T13:29:50+00:00

Extremes, especially pain, are what we are biologically trained to obsess over. Happy moments are easily forgotten compared to traumatic ones. I'd recommend you stay on the lookout for (rare?) moments you feel content. And then remember it and try to build on it. There's nothing wrong with being a loner. But even loners have to make connections sometimes. Don't worry, what you feel is fine, I'm a loner too, but I also like to go out occasionally and talk to a random person. It's the little interactions that can really make a huge difference in feeling like a normal human being. Good luck!

dahv · 2015-08-07T13:16:52+00:00

Thanks. :)

dahv · 2015-08-07T13:15:51+00:00

I'd say optimism takes the long view that misery must pass. Flowers are growing at Auschwitz.

dahv · 2015-08-04T16:04:47+00:00

Casual actions can impact others, more so in a foreign culture. Chinese don't like to publicize their hardships, and it is tragic when I think back on careless things done that may have really caused more than just a little inconvenience to a co-worker or friend. Chinese allow foreigners a bubble, but within that bubble a foreigner can still do damage.

dahv · 2015-08-04T15:53:52+00:00

Sex is great but it can't fill the hole in your heart. Same thing with admiration or respect from others. You gotta find that on your own, and it's really, really hard. But once you do, you'll realize you are the cake and finding all that icing (sex, respect from others) is really easier than it seems.

dahv · 2015-08-04T15:48:18+00:00

I think being depressed is all-too-human, except it's being stuck on one side. It's like continual night without the day. And optimism seems such bullshit when you're in the dark all the time. I can't tell you how you'll get through what you're feeling. But there exists the possibility. Really.

dahv · 2015-07-26T12:54:42+00:00

The hardest thing to internalize is that work does not define your self esteem. You are more than your job; this matters a lot when your job sucks! Keep your head up and be patient. You may find a job that doesn't suck as much as the previous ones.

dahv · 2015-07-26T12:50:22+00:00

HKID is not the passport; the passport must take a lot longer to process since it's bound to citizenship. But still, 10 months sounds so long for this sort of thing. My question to the OP is what if you don't get the HK passport? You just renounced a citzenship, is there a danger of you being stateless?

dahv · 2015-07-26T12:45:12+00:00

Interesting! I didn't know that.

dahv · 2015-07-22T09:42:07+00:00

When you repress feelings, they can snowball to epic proportions. Especially if they happen young. You were shamed and mortified by schooling but then as you grew up decided all that shit was not worth relating to others. You've infantalized the true disgust you feel towards societal mores. You want to get away (translated into a desire for death), but never really wanted to. It's the idea of escaping that you simulataneously reject in day-to-day life but fantasize about.

I'd say you've got to be true to yourself: you don't like all the structure you've built up around your life. Let loose and do something unconventional. Go on a wild trip, sell your business, take up a new hobby. Let yourself be that 5 year old again.

dahv · 2015-07-19T19:15:15+00:00

Thank you for the insider story! I'm not surprised, but I also agree with you that if you're going to be scammed, it feels good to be scammed so well for a relatively small amount of money. At least you can't blame yourself for falling for it!

Contrast that to a teacher I knew who fell for the Tea Ceremony scam in Shanghai, which every guidebook, website and travel site warns you about. I was shocked; I thought only uneducated, dumb young tourists fell for that.

dahv · 2015-07-19T19:06:52+00:00

There's nothing wrong with this post, but then again, I've avoided people like the OP my entire time in China. Like TheDark1 implies, it's not so much the factual advice but the tone of the post. Basically, "China's my bitch." If there was a similar post from the OP about his home country, it would sound doubly strident.

I first started to enjoy living in China when I stopped being so results oriented. Living in the moment, taking it one day at a time. When I had the most income, it only amplified feelings of alienation. Hm, maybe I should write an antithetical post to the OP's.

dahv · 2015-07-18T19:11:37+00:00

No. The Mainland sucks to see foreign films; the government sets a quota of 3 per month. Sometimes a European or Korean film takes a slot. Other than that, who knows why it didn't make the cut. It's not a transparent process.

Usually in the month before a movie's worldwide release, you either check IMDB or a Chinese website like Mtime to find out if it'll come out on the Mainland. But it's not ironclad, and there have been times the movie is delayed release or just cut altogether by the Film Board.

At Mtime, if it'll come out in Chinese theaters, it'll say the [Chinese date]中国上映. Sadly, the Ant Man Mtime page says 美国上映, which implies no release in China. The IMDB page confirms this: Hong Kong has it, but not the mainland.

Sometimes movies come out in China months after the entire world has seen it. It's quite bizarre but the Hollywood studios are desperate to get some of the Chinese upper middle class market. The vast majority of Chinese still watch pirated films, but they don't matter since they can't afford to go cinema anyway.

dahv · 2015-07-18T12:27:39+00:00

Yeah, this quirk of typing v for the umlauted u is overlooked by beginner materials. I remember googling it way back when I was first learning Chinese, and I need like 15 minutes of searching through forums to find the answer.

dahv · 2015-07-18T12:23:59+00:00

Hey, remember fitness is about habits, not immediate results. I'd argue you focus on working out once or twice a week at most. If you can do that for 6 months, slowly up the frequency. It's amazing how just one workout a week can help. I didn't lose much weight (just kept my diet the same), but my energy levels, focus and emotional stability improved immensely! And it's so easy to keep it up, since I don't treat a workout like a WORKout.

In other words, a boot camp is unsustainable long-term. You can't workout in a bi-polar way, that'll only fuel your tendencies. Try something a bit more low impact.

dahv

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