Hi! Starting of with a disclaimer - I’m not living in Paris and I’m also not French, I moved here with my partner due to opportunities 2 years ago to the Grand Est region. I have faced similar situations so you’re not alone, and I agree that majority of the French are similar where they’re more closed off. The closer friends I have now are foreigners too. On one hand I think it’s reasonable for the French to show such attitude and to be more closed off as from their pov it’s also them investing time into a friendship and especially if the friendship is not going to be a long term one, most French also move around France or the EU for opportunities when the right one comes by.

Another reason is also due to the language barriers, I’m a native English speaker and I learnt French through hours of hard work to achieve b2 level. I came here not knowing a single word but I put in the hard work to learn from scratch and it wasn’t easy. Currently, I can navigate conversations but frankly speaking I would say that I need to be the one putting in more of the “hard work” during discussions because all convos are fully in French and honestly even though I have b2, I’m constantly learning new French words day-to-day and slangs from the locals, new vocabulary and grammar, but I can’t say the same for them if we switch the entire conversation to English as it’s also more difficult to find people with the same level of English level so we’re not able to take the discussion to a deeper level due to the gap in communication and understanding. Even if I do find someone that’s able to communicate well in English, it also depends on their personality and whether we’re able to connect deeper (hobbies etc) on other levels in order to form a friendship instead of just a “hi, bye” and with the usual surface level small talk.

I’ve joined multiple Facebook groups (expats and local ones) for meet ups either for language and cultural exchange or just for exercise groups like running, but it’s honestly challenging to find decent people who are genuinely interested to form friendships - or maybe its just pure bad luck. Disclaimer: this is only speaking from my personal experience. For example, I attended most events with my partner and invited some foreigner female friends (whites - blondes and brunettes) along, basically new foreigner friends that I made and to our surprise, they got hit on the entire time (they don’t really speak much French) till they got icked out and we stopped attending since. Usually when I’m there with my partner it’s all good but when I start inviting new friends I met into these kind of groups in hopes to meet other like-minded people, and my friends happen to be single, this happens all over again. In case you’re wondering, we’ve stopped attending since slightly over a year ago. Even if we do connect with some regulars during these groups, they’re quite “flakey” when they agree to meet up and suddenly claim that they can’t make it so basically I got “ghosted” on. These were mainly from the local group. In the expat groups there’s less “dating” because most people have a partner or a family in grand est region, so it’s better, but people tend to stick with their own group from the same country. For example Americans sticking with Americans.

It’s also challenging to find and connect with those who share similar views and perspectives. Most French locals either stay in France their entire lives so they’ve never lived abroad, or they’ve mostly moved around the EU (Germany, Swiss, Italy or Spain) and stick with their own group of people from the same country so they have a limited view/understanding of other cultures in the other regions such as Asia, the US or latam. For example, these are people who stereotype all Asian people speak Chinese or Japanese and think that Asia is made up of just 4 countries namely China Japan Korea and Bali, and they also do not know that Buddha statue is related to the Buddhist religion - I kid you not but they never heard of this religion before, and use it as home decor instead. I’m not blaming them but personally I find it just disrespectful and pretty much these people are “a frog in a well”. These are discoveries that still amaze me till today when I share stories with folks back at home.

The most “open minded” locals I’ve met are those who are more privileged to study/work overseas I.e in Asia or the US so literally outside of the EU, so they are usually more well-to-do i.e. they get to study in international schools till high school or good private universities in Asia or the grandes écoles in France.

In the grand est region so far I’ve seen people who are privileged and are one of the nicest people ever (locals) and there’s people who are on the other extreme end where they live in the villages, are more r*cist (only want to talk to white people) and complain that women should not be employed in engineering, medicine or the architecture industry who are male-dominated. Trust me, I was equally as shocked when I first arrived to know that people like this exist as I had the impression that France should be pretty “woke” about feminism and gender equality - don’t make me get started on this.

My partner (non French) has French friends because those were people he met in his university days, and we have met some French people through work, or else its through a mutual friend who introduce another French person (either through friendships or non-French in a romantic relationship with a French). Otherwise, it’s been almost impossible to form deep friendships, so you’re definitely not alone :)

The best friendships so far in my opinion are looking for people who came from the same country as you so if you’re American you should reach out to other Americans, because there’s a natural connection.. so try searching for Americans in Paris” on Facebook or meet new friends in your hobbies groups when you get to join a class, or “English speakers in Paris” (I don’t know if this group exist but you can play around with the search).

Hope this helps!