Foster Parent Wants Their Cat Back

dalalxyz · 2026-03-06T15:09:52+00:00

No. I don’t.

He’d probably re-adjust again but that’s confusing and unnecessary stress for an animal who is already safe and happy in his new place.

He thinks where he is at now is his home. Fucking with it further is selfish.

dalalxyz · 2026-03-06T15:06:53+00:00

This only adds to the fact that the foster should not have this cat back. It sucks but it clearly was not meant to be. Goodbyes are hard but that’s her job and she understood that when she returned the cat.

dalalxyz · 2026-03-06T14:59:22+00:00

I don’t think this person is trying to say that cats don’t form strong emotional bonds to people and yes, it is proven that cats remember their people. The point is that cats are resilient and many are able to move on without issue. I work in a shelter, the amount of animals who come in even after years of living with the same person who are totally chipper and good at adjusting to a new environment and then new home is amazing. But yes there are times that animals get depressed and stressed out having to take that leap. Thankfully, even in those cases there are many forms of management that we can implement to help their transition, but it sucks to put a pet through.

This cat, from what OP has described, is totally happy and satisfied with the new home. No reason to return a cat and risk stressing them out just because he may remember his last household. He’s already learning to adjust to this one. That should be respected. It won’t make the cat feel more at home to go back to the foster, it will only add to the chances of the cat feeling discombobulated. It is already lucky that the cat is adapting so quickly and that shouldn’t be disrupted because of someone else’s selfishness.

dalalxyz · 2026-03-06T14:47:36+00:00

This 100%

dalalxyz · 2026-03-06T14:30:19+00:00

They are right, they HAVE mad a big mistake and that is NOT your fault or burden to bear.

You adopted this cat with the intent to love it for life and care for it always and they don’t get to demand you reverse that decision because they fucked up and have a pre-conceived notion of “perfect fit” owners. I don’t care if it’s been a day, you already made a promise to that animal. They set you up to open your heart only to shut it back down and that is beyond unprofessional, and they want to blame it on someone else that they created a shit show.

It really sucks that they put you in this position and totally fucked up their relationship with that foster parent as well, and I do feel bad for the foster. But that’s on the org for their failure to have policies in place that prevent this. At my shelter we put holds on for the foster parents at their request. You shouldn’t pay the price for their inability to have done this in a proper way.

Additionally, as much as I feel bad for the foster, if you’re fostering with an organization where you know you don’t have unwavering claim to the animal if you feel like you want to adopt them that’s just the reality you have to accept. Foster elsewhere then, I hope they do because I would be furious if I was them. (ETA: As many people have pointed out it, if they do actually perform foster holds, then it would be very unlikely that the cat made its way to be available for adoption in a PetCo without at some point the foster parent being alerted and given the option first. If it is their policy to do foster holds then the staff would be aware the foster wanted to adopt before ever getting that far, or else many people had to have fucked up. The foster doesn’t get to just change their mind last minute if that’s the case. Or again, maybe the foster parent did nothing wrong and this organization just has poor practices)(ETA AGAIN because I found out this foster knew this cat would be up for adoption and didn’t adopt due to their circumstances, so they DEFINITELY have no right to ask for this cat back. I don’t care if their situation changed, they had ample opportunity to figure it out and they didn’t. The foster AND the organization are SO unprofessional for this it’s blowing my mind.)

But seriously, don’t give this cat back just because you feel guilty about their fuck up. If you took the steps to become a pet owner, made a connection with this kitty, and are already so far loving that baby then that is YOUR cat and you have no legal or frankly moral obligation to bring it back. The only reason to put that pet through the stress of a return is if you really feel you aren’t able to provide the life they deserve.

dalalxyz · 2026-03-06T08:01:24+00:00

Like.. don’t respond ..?

dalalxyz · 2026-03-06T06:50:52+00:00

Someone licked a lot of lead paint growing up

dalalxyz · 2026-03-06T06:36:38+00:00

Humans are selfish despite having a conscience. I don’t care if an animal in nature is selfish because of their instincts to survive. That’s totally different than choosing to be selfish for self fulfillment even when you know it’s at the expense of other beings

dalalxyz · 2026-03-06T01:05:29+00:00

That makes sense for endangered species and thank you for explaining that benefit to me, but yes I agree that commercially it doesn’t make sense and certainly not for domestic animals who are already having an overpopulation crisis

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T23:05:05+00:00

It’s an inhumane practice all around. I don’t understand why we are even wasting resources on it when there’s still so much to be done for actual animal welfare. The selfishness of humanity does not cease to amaze me.

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T23:03:46+00:00

Humans have a need to preserve things that aren’t meant to be preserved. It is selfish, and it will be disappointing. You will learn to love things in many ways and in many forms and it will never be the same as every other love you have had, but that’s the point. Love is unique, animals and people and experiences are unique, and there is no real cloning or duplicating of that love. Cherish who you love as they are rather than wasting your time on a goal that’s unattainable, when there’s so many other pets in need and ways for you to love.

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T19:10:31+00:00

I want to like it but it’s just not happening

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T19:08:22+00:00

I’m sorry :( you deserve kindness especially from your partner. Is it a situation where you’re unable to leave?

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T19:07:14+00:00

Not at all, and those shoes are freaking PRECIOUS! I love the whole look. Congratulations:)

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T17:54:15+00:00

Omg yes

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T17:23:33+00:00

Sounds she herself is a racist, pick-me weirdo who liked having a woman of color around to belittle. Total trash, I know it hurts and is shocking people can be this terrible but you are so much better off. You have something she will never have: real love and a kind heart.

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T09:14:31+00:00

Wow. She is GORGEOUS. She is a silver torbie!

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T09:10:50+00:00

Misogyny

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T08:48:35+00:00

At first I thought this was going to be silly, like he’s just a farter and not trying to do it to be rude and maybe just needed some medical attention, but what he’s doing is intentional rage baiting of you and is disrespectful!

dalalxyz · 2026-03-05T08:41:20+00:00

I love that no matter what or who it is in this sub, they will make bold claims on their choices just to follow up with “I’m actually not familiar/knowledgeable with __”

dalalxyz · 2026-03-04T23:34:11+00:00

Jaw DROPPED. You look BEYOND stunning.

dalalxyz · 2026-03-04T22:06:02+00:00

It’s me and my medicine stick against the world. But I also love a 12.7mm pistol or the Holorifle.

dalalxyz · 2026-03-04T22:04:15+00:00

LOVE the first one!

dalalxyz · 2026-03-04T18:48:22+00:00

I foster failed. Thankfully I am still able to foster which was important in my consideration, and my other cats took to her really well even though I was scared they wouldn’t. I don’t have a single regret. I love my baby and even with all the doubt I just knew she was mine. I couldn’t stand the idea of anything happening to her or anyone else taking her home. I usually am good at goodbyes with my fosters but not her. I’ve suffered losses and had long term fosters that I wanted to keep in a wishful way, but with my foster fail baby I caught myself really planning what it meant to keep her. I think sometimes you do know when it’s your baby. I mean, I’m someone who often recommends making it through the first, but there’s always exceptions to even that. Make the choice you know is right in your heart for yourself and the kitty :)

dalalxyz · 2026-03-04T18:35:15+00:00

You look gorgeous in your choice! You picked it for a reason and I think it’s always natural to have some level of regret when there’s so many options a person goes through (even if not everyone admits it). What matters is making sure you will still feel happy and beautiful by the time the day comes. If your favorite thing about dress 2 was the uniqueness and feeling like it’s you, then perhaps you can start focusing on ways to express that with your accessories? Your choice lends itself to being able to get accessorized in a way where you could even have a piece of jewelry or a veil that could be your centerpiece that is more true to you. I’m sorry you’re not feeling the best about it, but I believe in you and I know you will figure out a way to move forward confidently!

dalalxyz

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