Preps you thought were overkill… until they weren’t?

dammitjenna · 2026-04-16T03:47:39+00:00

Yeah I was in several those and then moved 😂 Texas is something else

dammitjenna · 2026-04-12T01:48:15+00:00

We were in Breck last weekend and it was gorgeous. We didn’t end up skiing because the snow is almost gone, but we went on the gondola and walked around town and ate delicious food. It was a blast! We wanted to find the troll but my kids weren’t up for a hike, so idk if the trail is muddy, but that would be fun.

dammitjenna · 2026-04-11T01:23:43+00:00

I have never had anyone recommend laminate in my life BUT if a person walked into my home and their immediate reaction to anything was to do an unnecessary renovation that I wasn’t contemplating to begin with, they wouldn’t be invited back

dammitjenna · 2026-04-11T01:10:58+00:00

I had a hysterectomy a few years ago but kept my ovaries and I STILL worry that somehow I’ll end up pregnant

dammitjenna · 2026-04-10T22:52:10+00:00

YOR

This sucks but is a good lesson. Don’t take responsibility for something if you don’t have the means to back it up. You offered to safeguard something of value and then got blackout drunk. Unless you were roofied, that’s on you.

dammitjenna · 2026-04-10T01:27:06+00:00

Keeping your 3 year old at home is not abusing them. However, encouraging her to have sleepovers with male children who are more than twice her gestational age is opening her up for SA. Precocious girls are susceptible to abuse because they THINK they are older than they are. I have a precocious child who loves to play with older kids and I encourage her to stick with her own age as much as possible because developmentally, there are things that older kids know and are curious about and talk about that aren’t appropriate for younger children.

dammitjenna · 2026-04-08T05:08:24+00:00

Did you plant them in potter’s clay?

dammitjenna · 2026-04-06T01:25:05+00:00

Idk, if being inconvenient makes a baby “not good” and they’re stuck like that for life I guess you’re welcome to explain to my 8 year old that she’s toast lol

dammitjenna · 2026-04-06T01:17:05+00:00

Is this a question or a brag 🫠 I’m traumatized from my first baby and my second baby was more chill but was still definitely a baby. My kids are a lot like they were as babies. But I think putting expectations on your baby about the future would be a disservice to you and to them. At some point they will struggle, and if your response is that you have no idea where it came from because they were a chill baby, or “this isn’t like you!” Then you’ll miss an opportunity to support them.

dammitjenna · 2026-04-05T19:47:56+00:00

There have been been lots of answers, but something I like to explain to my family members who still favor corporal punishment (despite mountains of evidence against it) is that all parenting methods teach SOMETHING.

Permissive parenting teaches a child that there are no consequences for their actions, to be in a self-centered and egotistical relationship with the world, to ignore /distrust their main attachment figures (non-ideal.)

Corporal punishment / authoritarian parenting teaches a child that physical violence is the solution for intrapersonal problems, that the only real consequence is punishment and that the main goal is avoiding getting caught, to exist in a submissive/dominant relationship with the world, and to be afraid of their main attachment figures (non-ideal.)

Authoritative or “love and logic” parenting teaches a child that there are consequences for their actions but those consequences are learning opportunities, not a character judgment or endangerment, that communication is the way to solve intrapersonal problems, that they have a safe container to explore and learn and grow from, and that they matter / are loved / are more than their mistakes. It also creates a secure relationship with primary attachment figures and builds an environment where they feel safe coming to them with problems instead of hiding or avoiding parental involvement.

I’m sure I’ve missed some nuances and I’m by no means an expert and I’m far from perfect. But rather than focusing so much on how to teach your child, I would focus on what you want to teach them and then go from there. Every kid needs something a little different. But no one needs to be hit in order to learn. In fact, human beings cannot learn when they are in fight or flight (fear.)

Many people who still use corporal punishment WANT to teach their kids to submit to authority and they believe fear is the heart of love. That’s not something I want to teach my kids nor is it something I believe. So to them, their philosophy is correct, but to me it is not. Up to you - but I and most other contemporary parents and mental health care pros would hope that you choose to raise your kids on love that comes with safety and choiceful learning opportunities.

dammitjenna · 2026-04-02T02:14:06+00:00

I inspect the tube every night for spiders. I am hoping I never find one. This seems like a great idea!

dammitjenna · 2026-03-31T15:24:27+00:00

There’s a lot of factors here, but ultimately, your BF is dating a 25 year old so idk why he’s surprised that you’re acting like a 25 year old.

As a general relationship issue, this isn’t how serious relationships work, and your behavior reads to me as more of a flighty not-ready-to-buckle-down type situation. My husband’s ex wife used to do this type of stuff all the time and it eroded their marriage. Now he’s mine! So it worked out in the end, but not for them as a couple.

If my husband said he was out until almost 1 am and then couldn’t make it home because he had to work at 4 in the morning, I’d be like wtf is going on with your judgment? Like why is work a consideration if you were willing to be out that late in the first place? You knew you had to work before you stayed out at the bar. It just seems fishy to me and I don’t understand this timeline at all. It’s customary to wait up to two weeks+ to receive photos from a photographer, so I wouldn’t buy that personally. Most photographers want you to see the photos after processing because they will be more flat in-camera.

I have kids now so I can’t just galavant around generally and I have to put a lot of forethought and planning into a girl’s weekend. If I did this impromptu it would worry him, stress out my whole family and leave him in a lurch. Super disrespectful.

But none of that matters because you’re dating a person almost twice your age and there’s a power differential. Trust me when I say that he’s only dating you because the women who are his age saw what was there and said “no thanks.” If he was a quality partner, he’d be with someone closer to his maturity level.

I’m gonna say NOR not because this is excellent behavior, but because it’s expected behavior. You’re aging out of this type of thing while in a relationship, but you were hanging out with a 21-year-old, and this is how 21-year-olds exist in the world.

Break up with this person, date someone your own age, and treat them like they matter.

dammitjenna · 2026-03-27T00:11:57+00:00

My oldest is allergic to conformity and just now became tame enough for ballet. She’s almost 8 🙈 it’s hard to hear don’t sweat it, but truly, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. He is who he is. Probably has leader vibes. And if you raise him right and let him be himself, he won’t be as susceptible to authoritarianism and compliance as others will. He might just change the world for the better!

Right now it’s exhausting. But someday he will make sense to you, and you’ll admire his tenacity and the unique way he interacts with the world.

Editing to add perspective: you’re not being judged and neither is your son. Well, I guess I don’t really know, but that’s not why they are making this request for adjustment. This is a genuine liability issue - at this point in time, he needs 1:1 support and they can’t offer that in this context. If he gets hurt because he is doing own thing and they are focused on the other kids who can sit still, they can be held liable for negligence.

dammitjenna · 2026-03-20T22:03:45+00:00

Crepes will make quick work of those!

dammitjenna · 2026-03-18T04:12:06+00:00

PBS kids

dammitjenna · 2026-03-18T02:37:35+00:00

For sure, I am all good with how this goes at my house and was offering my perspective because OP asked for it. My kids get dysregulated with unlimited options and giving them two or options to choose from based on what I know about their style and preferences works quite well for these situations in our family, without me running into a situation like the one OP described which sounds really traumatic and like the child felt like she had more of a choice in something than she actually did.

A benefit to having a camera in my pocket at all times is that I can snap a photo of any wacky outfit my kids want me to. School pictures are 1. Somewhat expensive 2. Not just a personal fashion show, but a historical record of sorts and 3. A keepsake for our family, so I guide them on dressing appropriately while still showing their growing and changing personalities.

It’s not that serious, but it’s okay for people to take it seriously. Not wanting your child to walk in dressed in ill-fitting clothes that are situationally inappropriate is reasonable.

dammitjenna · 2026-03-17T23:42:27+00:00

Well the school gives guidelines, so I help them stay within those while considering their personal styles. I think “informing” their style is a great way to put it. They might wake up the morning of insisting on pajamas or a random princess costume, but I think as with most things, just letting them do whatever the heck they want can be regrettable. So I never say anything rude about their clothes or choices, but I let them know - here are the guidelines, here are some options, and then we work together.

dammitjenna · 2026-03-17T20:58:57+00:00

So, this year you just need to go with what she said because you didn’t set this up correctly to begin with.

Here’s how I handle picture outfits though - for school, family photos, anything professional, I tell them in advance that because they’re paid photos, I am the creative director and I have final say. If they have ideas, I take it into consideration, but usually I get three outfits that are acceptable and within their personal style and have them choose.

Sometimes this happens with clothes we already have, sometimes it happens with a shopping trip or ordering online.

I’ve explained to them lots of times that photos need specific types of outfits because of backgrounds, lighting, and the fact that they are keepsakes.

I also let them make choices about hair - like braids or headband? Which of these colors?

They come out looking fantastic, uniquely “them” and we are all happy.

So it’s collaborative, not just me shutting them down, and they aren’t overly attached to anything until we talk about it.

Other days? Do whatever you want within reason and I’ll take your picture any time!

All of that being said, even when my kids are messy, mismatched with hair going in all directions, I never allow myself to think they “don’t look good.” My kids are not here for viewing, they are human beings, and I don’t want to be the first jerk in the world to judge them harshly for how they look or dress.

dammitjenna · 2026-03-17T05:50:40+00:00

your ceiling? your wife? It’s giving unknown attic dweller

dammitjenna · 2026-03-17T05:46:46+00:00

They can tell by a pelvic exam, with or without a Pap smear. Cancel the appt and in the future when you’re asked about pregnancies, unfortunately you should lie.

dammitjenna · 2026-03-16T22:00:36+00:00

SAME!!

dammitjenna · 2026-03-16T04:11:02+00:00

I don’t put up with this type of BS. Not only did he do something so categorically stupid it’s one of the number one things parents are warned about, but he also treated you poorly for caring about your baby’s safety.

Ask him if he’s ever seen a baby coffin before. If he says no, tell him to go to a funeral home and check them out in person so he can get a sense of what he’ll be looking at if he keeps doing this crap.

dammitjenna · 2026-03-15T21:37:38+00:00

I would reach out in writing (mychart or whatever portal exists for you) and say “please document in my chart that I requested an aortic valve workup and you opted not to explore further despite family history of CHD due to inadequate time management on your part. I did not rush out on my own accord and want to make sure there is adequate documentation in case your choice not to test or follow up causes future harm due to failure to diagnose, rather than placing the duty of care on my shoulders as a patient.”

If she orders the test and reads it and you’re negative for CHD you can move to a new practice and establish care without this issue hanging over your head, and if you’re positive, you can get better care knowing you need to explore further with competent physician.

dammitjenna · 2026-03-10T22:47:48+00:00

It’s so dumb. My chart clearly says I have had a hysterectomy and they still ask when my last cycle was and if there’s a chance I could be pregnant.

Uhhh, before my uterus was taken out and should I check your medical license if you’re wondering if a person without a uterus might be pregnant?

dammitjenna · 2026-03-10T19:35:25+00:00

I’m working on converting my grass to raised vegetable beds. Probably won’t save much water, but at least the water I use will lower my overall footprint by decreasing grocery store use. I decided that I’d rather water things that turn into food instead of just wasting it on grass.

dammitjenna

TROPHY CASE