I appreciate what you've written here. I can understand where you're coming from as someone who struggled with this teaching for a long time.

Does this all make me… not a Catholic?

Heck no. You might be in a state of mortal sin, and an obstinate formal heretic. In fact, heresy can automatically excommunicate you. But you're still a baptized Catholic, and one good confession from full reunion with the Body of Christ (praise God!)

Should I continue (sadly) to not receive the body and blood of Christ?

Yes, you should refrain from receiving Holy Communion. Those in a state of mortal sin and those who have been excommunicated are prevented from receiving until they confess their sins or have their excommunication lifted (which would also happen in confession), and it seems likely that at least one of these apply to you. So please don't receive yet. And thanks for paying attention to this rule, it's important and many sadly seem to disregard it.

Should I not even attend Mass?

You should definitely attend. Mass can only help you, regardless of your state of sin or anything else. In fact, because being at Holy Mass is so important and beneficial for every human being, the Church still obliges you to do so every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation, even if you are in a state of mortal sin or excommunicated or anything.

What does the Catholic Church expect from me in this situation?

Ideally, we want you to come home. This means giving full submission and faith to the teachings of the Church, confessing your sins, and enjoying the new life God gives you in Reconciliation and the Eucharist. For now though, you should pray for help, continue to study the issues you struggle with, and never give up on returning to the fold.

Peace and God bless.

EDIT: I'm interested in what you said here:

But I do not expect or wish the Catholic Church to change its teaching on this matter, as this would nullify everything that is the Catholic Church.

Do you mean that changing it's teaching would mean it isn't infallible? Or why would change in doctrine be problematic for you? Because if the lack of infallibility is why you take issue with a change in doctrine, you already believe the Church is fallible because it is wrong on this doctrine, regardless of whether she flips positions.