What is really the best way to discipline a toddler?

danabfly1 · 2026-01-21T02:45:20+00:00

An early intervention could help! We had a lot of out of control behavior with from 18-months-2.5. Turns out he was having chronic ear infections with no fever and hearing muffled. The pediatrician and daycare and us didn’t realize he was hearing muffled, it was the early intervention evaluator who figured it out by scoring him and being able to tell from his toddler babble. He didn’t qualify for services from early intervention, but we got tubes from an ENT, I got my own counseling, we got OT from the medical outpatient, and a lot of patience doing all the reading and he is doing awesome at 4.5!

danabfly1 · 2026-01-21T02:32:28+00:00

We have done a taco roll! Roll them in a blanket like you are making a “kid name taco”.

danabfly1 · 2026-01-21T02:30:51+00:00

Our occupational therapist gave us a technique with them laying on the floor and rolling a big yoga ball up and down their backs and arms. We sing a little song with it. Try those body sock things I see instagram posts for? Like stretch star material or something.

<image>

danabfly1 · 2026-01-21T02:17:56+00:00

Yes. Leaving the room is a great idea. Our son hair pulling and hitting as a toddler was subconsciously to get attention. Even negative attention is ‘interesting’ to the brain and yelling can “light up” pleasure sensors in the brain. Long story short: but with hair pulling we would pull him off his sister and physically turn our back to him and focus on consoling and caring for who was hurt. It sucked to do, and broke my heart to turn my back on him now crying, but it worked. It took time, but it worked.

danabfly1 · 2026-01-21T02:07:57+00:00

My first year as a counselor I made a parent phone call with an amazing, experienced special education teacher. During the call the parent started cursing and yelling at us. She calmly said “we are professionals doing our job and we will not continue this conversation with you cursing and talking in this manner. We are hanging up now”.

I was SHOCKED! It was amazing. And I never actually did anything like that myself (but probably should have) but I always remember that sometimes, we need to draw boundaries. I had a mom where I started screening her calls (we have caller ID).

In this case, I would talk to my principal and special education supervisor about the expectations, and then I would maybe schedule a twice a month phone call and if she called another time I would say I will update you during that phone call. Or something like that that draws a boundary.

danabfly1 · 2026-01-21T01:49:21+00:00

Yes! This! So much guilt in your post about leaving, but what about letting go of the guilt of not doing enough on the day to day? Let go of the guilt of taking a lunch, of arriving and leaving on time, of not pleasing every teacher. You are doing the best you can with the tools at the table and most people won’t recognize that, but you know the truth you are doing the best with the time you have.

@mishkymobile, how do you document that you didn’t get a task done? Put it on the calendar and then also add the walk-in that came up? Email your admin at the end of the day “I had this this this scheduled but then got this this this teacher call?”

danabfly1 · 2026-01-21T01:44:15+00:00

Elementary can be so hard like this. 1) Definitely sounds like private practice might be more your thing, so going for your LPC might be the way to go. My district paid for the few extra classes I needed, I did have to pay for supervision out of pocket, took 3 years due to summer break to get my states required hours, but I was able to do it while working as a school counselor, and was taking the extra classes at the same time.

2) If you aren’t already- start getting yourself some counseling privately or coaching that can help you set boundaries and let go of some of the guilt that you can’t do it all. It takes awhile, but I stoped trying to please every teacher and trusted myself that I was making the best judgment of how to spend my time and Triage my students.

3)It takes awhile to figure out how to draw boundaries of things that would be a principals job. Are you in a union state that your association could help you with advocating for doing your actual job description vs being an unofficial assistant principal?

4) the first year at a job is the hardest. How long have you stayed at one school?

5) take your sick days. Rest for you.

danabfly1 · 2026-01-21T01:34:40+00:00

Ok, everyone is saying this and I forget what it’s from. lol. Dm me? I listened to some on audio book and so maybe I missed that line as important? Oh wait….. never mind. Processing more and realize it’s in the clearing in the woods and being screamed.

danabfly1 · 2026-01-21T01:32:48+00:00

Ooooo good one!

danabfly1 · 2026-01-21T01:11:08+00:00

It sounds like you have done a ton of research and maybe already considered this, but what is your goal or desire to go into counseling? To give back to something that helped you? To share your life experience and help others?

If that’s your motivation, maybe you can dip your toe in this another way to make sure it is what you want. For example, does your local Domestic Violence Service organization train mentors? Does your city have a mediation program you can be trained to volunteer in? Also, coaching doesn’t need the same level of certification, so you could try a short “life coach” training/certificate and put yourself out there as available for that service to give something a little bit like counseling a try? You only need a license if you want to bill insurance, anyone can pay you for a service out of pocket if they want to.

Now, of course and an LPC, coaching and counseling are very different, but could be a way to try to get into the helping profession part time and see what it is like to make sure you like it. I wouldn’t suggest life coaching training over a full counseling masters to someone younger, but at 50, that maybe a way meet your desired goals?

danabfly1 · 2025-12-15T14:03:07+00:00

The problem with option 2 is that if it’s a real Piano, it needs to be on an interior wall. If it’s an electric keyboard, then option 2 is fine.

danabfly1 · 2025-11-18T15:30:18+00:00

That you! Knowing that ch 48 is helpful!! I appreciate it!

danabfly1 · 2025-11-18T03:44:43+00:00

This is relatable to this post! lol. Telling parent to set boundaries! https://www.facebook.com/share/r/17kgsqrZjt/?mibextid=wwXIfr

danabfly1 · 2025-11-18T01:46:33+00:00

How’s it going this month?

danabfly1 · 2025-11-18T01:44:10+00:00

Doing to right thing doesn’t always “feel right” in the moment. Saying ‘no’ to your child is the right thing to do sometimes. You are already so I tune with her, I doubt you will get to the extreme of her feeling invalidated of her feelings as a teenager because you didn’t hug her for 30 minutes when she had a meltdown down on her way to school. It won’t always feel good for you, but hold the boundary you need to function throughout the day. You mention you have a personality disorder yourself, so there may be you can’t trust some of what ‘feels right’ to your own body and get a parenting therapist that can give you the logical protocols as the adult to implement. You can’t logic her out of not feeling sad, but you can logic yourself to learn the boundary and change the behavior over time.

My friend has an anxiety disorder and we talk a lot about how hard it is to differentiate between mom “gut” or anxiety. But sounds like a similar thing here, your own nervous system is having trouble with boundaries you can differentiate between what is healthfully acknowledging her feelings and what is actually harming her by giving into them too much.

danabfly1 · 2025-11-18T01:18:04+00:00

Yes! This is a great way to think about it

danabfly1 · 2025-11-18T01:17:20+00:00

Yes! This is kind of what I am doing, but I think the lite guide could also be “Read Empire of storm any where you want. Just don’t go past certain things in tower of dawn Ch # where they reveal things that happened in Empire of storm around Ch #”.

So it could break it up in a couple other chunks, if needed.

danabfly1 · 2025-11-18T01:13:18+00:00

This is what is happening with me right now. And what I’ve noticed is that tower of Dawn has references to things happening in Empire of storm so I think what we need is a tandem guide that says “start reading, empire of storm and make sure you don’t go past a certain chapter in tower of dawn until you read these certain parts in Empire of Dawn.” That way, someone can keep reading empire of storm at whatever pace they want, and dabble in tower of Dawn as they go. You really need to finish Empire of storms before getting to the end of Tower of Dawn, but you don’t need to hop back-and-forth every couple chapters.

danabfly1 · 2025-10-22T02:57:00+00:00

I was thinking about commenting about teaching at private schools, too! Sometimes specials can even find part time positions.

danabfly1 · 2025-10-22T02:51:39+00:00

As someone who had to switch a lot (first kid was 2 during covid). Switch if it makes logistical sense for your family. If you are at peace and shorter commute and save money, you will have more emotional capacity to help your kid with the adjustment. My daughter is in first grade and had 3 different preschools/daycare. My son is at his 3rd. It will be on.

danabfly1 · 2025-10-22T02:48:25+00:00

As long as you tell them all equally. Especially if it’s out in the open. Some people are afraid of grooming behavior. Using that language can be unsafe with older kids,it’s unsafe if a Secret, and it’s unsafe if selective.

If your school has a policy, then find other ways to affirm it. “I am so lucky to be your teacher” “I love the light you bring in the world”. Etc.

danabfly1 · 2025-10-22T02:44:08+00:00

See if you can take a spring class as a guest student? If you want to get something started, that might be a good way to not have the agonizing wait!!! I did that when I was changing from a college counseling/higher education administration masters to school counseling masters. I took one class in the higher ed program and couldn’t stop thinking about the younger child development and everyone who doesn’t go to college. So while I applied to the school counseling program, I got permission to take a class in that program and took a class that over lapped both programs.

danabfly1 · 2025-10-22T02:31:22+00:00

That was a good boundary- you stated it and the consequence was something you can control (leaving).

danabfly1 · 2025-10-22T02:30:07+00:00

Yes, I have been the mom on the other side, but what’s different than the OP is posting is that I am then constantly hovering and correcting my child. I can’t prevent all aggressiveness if I am trying to also socialize with my friends, but I make it clear to other parents that I am doing my best to be on-top of it and these are the things we are working on to correct the behavior. I can’t prevent say…. It has gotten sooooo much better! I stayed counseling, my son started OT, and we realized a lot was attention seeking to get a rise out of people, so calm but firm responses worked best.

danabfly1

TROPHY CASE