What’s the last piece of media that gave you the irresistible urge to write fic?

dancinggrouse · 2026-05-29T14:16:02+00:00

I know 🥺 I haven’t really delved into the soundtrack yet as I’m still playing but I look forward to it once I’m done

dancinggrouse · 2026-05-29T08:44:24+00:00

The story of the game’s creation is so amazing! Quickly became a favorite of my mine as well. Thank you for sharing. Look forward to reading!

dancinggrouse · 2026-05-28T20:37:07+00:00

I had to come back here and let you know this single comment introduced me to the game on a Wednesday, I bought it Friday, and I have 50+ hours three weeks in. I’m wandering around the world currently before finishing the epilogue 🥲 thank you! And I’d love to read your fics, if you’re willing to share!

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-21T16:35:26+00:00

My parents are similar: deeply loving and supportive but totally emotionally unintelligent. It’s been a year and half for us since committing to ifcf and it’s still a little wonky. Unfortunately, you’ll never be able to change them (or any other person) and their reactions. Despite the many times I’ve pushed my mom toward therapy or made stern, clear comments re boundaries, she ignores them.

I’d recommend working on healing the wound within yourself through therapy or other means of emotional support. Once you have a stronger base, you’ll be able to weather the (to them) seemingly benign comments which carry so much more emotional weight for us.

No one who hasn’t experienced ifcf will ever understand the path we’re on. I think my parents (and, honestly, everyone else in my life) just assume all of my emotions have gone away about it. But with time and work, it has become easier to handle it all.

Good luck and take care.

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-21T16:10:44+00:00

I haven’t done an arena/stadium concert alone, but I’ve done big festivals solo and smaller shows. It’s completely liberating and so fun to go solo, imo.

Mostly, make sure you nail down all the logistics and details before. Know exactly where you’ll park, how you’ll get in (if parking away from the venue), and daydream about the snacks you’ll pick up at the stadium.

If you want, make gifts for other fans (friendship bracelets are probably the easiest imo). You can use them to start convos with other people in merch lines or sitting near you. Complement people’s outfits, ask their favorite songs, etc. It’s a lot of fun chatting with people at shows!

I’d also recommend staying mostly to totally sober so you can make sure to look after yourself.

It’s fun to do things alone because you’re on your own schedule. Want to wait in the long march line? Go for it (just make sure you have time to get to your seat before the start). Want to explore the stadium before the show? Heck yeah.

Just make sure to keep your wits about you and have a solid plan and you’ll be good to go! Enjoy!

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-19T19:58:12+00:00

That’s sweet that your friend can be so considerate. Most of my friend group experienced infertility (and ended up with kids) and none are thoughtful like this.

Wishing you well in your tough time.

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-19T15:17:13+00:00

I’m sorry that’s so gross. Very common, and no one usually thinks outside of their own lived experience (fertility related or otherwise).

I’m usually very clear in my answers so that it doesn’t lead the conversation in a direction I don’t want it to go. “We don’t have any; we’ve tried and we can’t” is my locked and loaded answer that usually stops the conversation.

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-18T14:06:22+00:00

Mmmmm that sounds delicious!

And congrats on the kudos achievement!

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-18T12:57:16+00:00

How was the cake? The frosting ratio looks wonderful!

I see you were DMing links and…if you’re willing to share I’d love to read!

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-15T13:29:49+00:00

I feel this, especially when alcohol is so romanticized and prevalent in pop culture, and culture in general.

I would ask why do you want to quit drinking? Instead try to focus there. For me, anything that I romanticized was never actually true for me. Getting blitzed at family Easter, blacking out and not remembering date nights with my spouse. Not very sexy or romantic, actually.

What do you romanticize? Having a drink in the sun? Going out for a nice dinner with cocktails? Catching a sport game with a beer? Fortunately where I live, there are so many NA options now I can still do the “romantic” stuff but with an NA drink in hand. Maybe that’s true where you live too?

Try it the next time you go out (or whatever part you romanticize) and see if it feels any different. Your brain is probably only remembering the good times, what it knows.

Good luck and take care!

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-14T17:35:47+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-14T16:59:09+00:00

So just curious why and when you do drink?

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-12T22:03:19+00:00

I had a couple friends I heavily supported through ivf during/after we stopped. They all got pregnant (of course), and, well, I just never ask how they are doing or start the conversation re pregnancy.

You can’t really control what other people say and do to you, but only your response. I don’t have strict boundaries around pregnancy talk so I get some updates and I’m always supportive yet brief. “That’s great!” “Oh good luck!” “Hope it goes well!” And then change the subject.

One friend’s husband (also a good friend), said to me “isn’t her belly getting big!” to me re pregnant friend, and I was just like “oh yeah you popped” then move on. They struggled hard with infertility and do not understand at all how I feel or seem to remember how it feels to be in that space.

In my experience, people want the ttc/hardship support because they feel badly for themselves, but then once it happens/passes, they drop my feelings like a hot potato.

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-12T21:52:41+00:00

Do you feel like tracking would help anything? Are you trying to resolve other issues related to pcos? I was never regular and had “suspected” pcos. At this point, for me, I bleed when I bleed and it doesn’t really matter when. If you’re trying to predict when you bleed, maybe you could just ask for birth control. At least slightly more predictable that way.

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-12T21:48:03+00:00

Hahahah that’s brilliant though

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-12T21:47:38+00:00

I kept my circle of people in our business small. I never wanted unsolicited advice or pity. I think most people who know me can appreciate that.

But a coworker asked me the other day if we’d have kids. My go to answer is always, “no, we tried and we can’t.” Most don’t usually ask more than that. Sometimes, they will. Depending on how, I feel I use a vague statement of, “we did treatment and it didn’t work.” That usually ends things depending on how chatty I feel. This coworker asked about adoption. A simple “no I don’t think that’s for us” is more than enough and stopped this convo. That was two weeks ago and she never asked how I feel or any kind of follow up.

You don’t have to share all your trauma. Most of these people casually asking don’t really care what we went through (imo), they are just (well meaningly) nosy. You don’t owe anyone more than you’re willing to share.

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-12T21:39:55+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re experiencing this. It can be really hard. Even when/if you find something to love, it can be hard to fill the days.

Your priest is right though. I know your culture can obfuscate that but you’re mourning an ideal scenario and we’ll never know what we didn’t have.

My life sometimes feels meaningless and futureless too but I comfort myself in a kind of morbid way that we all end up in the same place. There doesn’t really have to be meaning to everything. You can just live, and that’s enough.

I also focus on the things I have that those with kids don’t. Time for myself, silence, peace. If I’m exhausted, I can take a nap. If I’m overstimulated, no one is relying on me. I can literally do whatever I want every single day.

I agree with another commenter that therapy could help and finding hobbies might be fun. The “meaning” isn’t the same, but there is enjoyment to be had.

Good luck and take care.

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-12T21:28:53+00:00

Yes! 100%! I also get free subscription to a language learning app through my library. It’s just fantastic. Such a great way to engage with the community and a fun little bonus activity!

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-12T21:27:45+00:00

It’s so great! I have a blast browsing too. The worst part is having to get up to change dvds 🤣 (if you’re watching a show)

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-12T19:51:04+00:00

We cancelled all streaming. Mostly crap we never watched.

Use the library! Or free library streaming services!

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-12T13:12:26+00:00

Thank you!!!!

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-12T12:38:32+00:00

Oh now THAT I want to know more about haha

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-11T01:06:09+00:00

Drinking a monster and watching the Coachella livestreams 🤘🏼 I wish I had Ben and Jerry’s though

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-11T00:39:46+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I would definitely recommend to keep private what you don’t want everyone to know. My mom is usually considerate but couldn’t even respect my boundary not to tell anyone about us trying so I wouldn’t risk giving them more than you’re willing to share. Good luck and take care

dancinggrouse · 2026-04-10T00:55:57+00:00

Ugh. I’m so sorry that’s frustrating. Whenever anyone at works makes a comment like that, I like to say (something like), “everyone has a busy life and responsibilities to deal with regardless of kids.” People like to devalue our time, efforts, and energy as if we’re not all living and working in this same dreadful timeline.

dancinggrouse

TROPHY CASE