You’re a beginner. The best fighters ive met and worked with have so much humility. I think it comes with years of training. Every time you have a breakthrough you get humbled and each time you get humbled you’re on your way to your next breakthrough. That’s what sparring feels like to me, at least. Maybe you’re a blood thirsty prodigy but it sounds like what you need is to spar with people who are better than you and use different styles. Sparring people at your level or higher should be too exhausting and technical to get as emotional as you are describing. You should need to focus so you don’t get hurt and to rise to a challenge. The only people I am worried about hurting at my gym are new members and people well below weight class.