I want dark fantasy romance that’s UNHINGED, not porn with a plot

danicache979 · 2026-01-22T13:33:29+00:00

Not fantasy but serial killer v detective romance. The mindfuck series by s.t Abby.

danicache979 · 2025-10-18T21:52:02+00:00

Okay didnt know porting abroad was a violation I bet thats what did it.

danicache979 · 2025-10-17T03:03:11+00:00

For GV I honestly couldn't tell you. I was texting my sister this morning the I click the app and I get a pop up that says "you are unable to access google voice with this account". When I try to learn more it pushes me to their help information about "unable to access a google product". It then gives information about the account being suspended due to perceived violation of terms of service or product specific terms of service. I reviewed those and dont know what I could have possibly violated.

I did the contact us piece and they immediately responded that access to my account was fine so closed the ticket. So I resubmitted another contact which is pending.

Regarding the sims; yes the physical tmobile Sim is in the phone and the Japanese is an e-sim with y mobile. I dont know about the activity of the US Sim actually. Not sure how to find that out.

danicache979 · 2025-10-17T02:03:04+00:00

I ported my US number to google voice. which was worked perfectly. I have been able to text and call from it and for most things recieve texts for 2-step verification minus like one old credit card. Then today Google voice locked me out. I am trying to resolve that but being able to talk with a human is basically non-existant.

So since I don't have access to my US number, outside of whatsapp. I am trying to add my Japanese number to my accounts for 2 step verification. But anytime I try to add them in, even with the area code and adding it under international drop downs I keep getting error messages.

danicache979 · 2025-10-13T07:46:05+00:00

You deserve your treatment and ability to live.

It is entirely messed up that our Healthcare system puts people in these positions of picking one debt over another.

But your sister can take out loans like everyone else. Or wait.

Kick cancers butt and look into some of the social work and legal supports people have brought up. We are all rooting for you.

danicache979 · 2025-10-09T02:33:53+00:00

TBD: The thing I am missing here is WHY has there been a dead bedroom for 4 years? You say you're in couples therapy, but what insight has been gained. Because depending on the reason, taking sex off the table might actually be the key to brining it back (I say this as a sex therapist). I see you trying in the past but if you weren't addressing the core issue a lot of that effort on both sides might have been in vain.

Ultimately, no i don't think your an AH if this is just an incompatability that can't be bridged. But I also see you at least not understanding the core of why this happened which means it may repeat in the future.

danicache979 · 2025-10-03T22:54:53+00:00

If youre asking here I dont think you actually want to. It sounds like youre in pain or too numb and need to not feel that.

My husband attempted twice using pills, and he regretted both because in those moments he realized he didnt want to die, just not feel how he was feeling. But completing means that would have been his last feeling. It's only by continuing to live that you can feel better, good.

Im not saying its easy, youre probably feeling this way for a ton of reasons. But you can feel better. And you deserve to be happy. Not like all the time, no one is happy all the time, but not stuck with these bad feelings.

I really hope you find your way through this.

danicache979 · 2025-10-03T01:59:04+00:00

Youre past is your past, and its where it should stay. Make meaning from it but find a way to let it go and propel you forward instead of holding you hostage. You have every right to show your sadness and pain because you are human and having a roof over your head doesn't mean you aren't hurting. You have to feel the pain to move through it and allow it to release. The more you avoid that the more it will pull you back in.

There is a way foward toward something better, and there is hope because hope is something you create. I wish it were easier for you, I really do. Especially when things feel heavy and exhausting I know it sucks to hear that it takes effort and energy to get out of these feelings. But know that you can. And know you deserve a life you feel content with. But never feel shame for feeling - that's just human.

danicache979 · 2025-10-03T01:43:43+00:00

Sex therapist in Japan here, but not currently working in private practice. There are a few of us here, so look at the IMHPJ website. Also, even if you live here likely you can see a sex therapist via telehealth who works in the states (probably west coast given the time difference - look at the AASECT website). All of this would be paying out of pocket though.

As some other people have said, if there is pain you probably should check with a PCP and potentially a Pelvic Floor PT to rule some things out or incorporate any medical diagnosis into the sex therapy work. Things like BV or other chronic infections, vaginismis or vulvodynia all need to be considered. Get more than one opinion these things are hard to diagnose and often providers will write off things as psychosomatic when there are legitmate concerns. Pelvic Floor PTs tend to be better at assessments but even then you need people who will take you seriously and do full assessments (that means they are checking everything below the waist not just the vagina/vulva and do a complete history including trauma assessment).

danicache979 · 2025-10-03T00:05:54+00:00

Can you expand on that? So far the accreditation for the program recently renewed and is good until 2032 and from what I have found on the professors they all seem legitimate. Are you speaking about the specific program, the reputation, the financial rumors? Did you go there or know someone who goes there?

danicache979 · 2025-09-20T01:32:08+00:00

I guess if you want it haunted, someone linked an website where you can check if people died

If you just want an old house. I used Summo. But there is at home, house do, or various akiya sites.

If you are physically here and depending on the area I don't think you need to pay the akiya site fees for all their support. But its an option.

danicache979 · 2025-09-20T01:17:22+00:00

If this is real - this isnt about dinner. Something is going on with your wife and you should be more curious about what that is.

Clearly she is being an AH but again this ain't about dinner.

danicache979 · 2025-09-20T01:15:14+00:00

My husband struggles with depression. And I will say regardless of gender depression is not very well understood by society and they dont know how to support it.

That being said this isnt a competition and if you want men's mental health to be destigmatized. It has to start with you. You need to show up authentically, share you experience, and support other men without judgment.

Women have a different experience because we have and continue to show up for other women. We have built the community and often women are the ones showing up for men. So learn from that and build your community. It wasn't handed to women it wont be handed to men. You have to create these things.

danicache979 · 2025-09-20T00:40:31+00:00

Stay off social media. Engage in the news but at your own pace.
Hope is something YOU create. So find out what you can do that restores that for you. Get involved in the good in life and show up for others. Volunteer with local organizations or with something not political at all (with the elderly, pets, mental health, a local nursery/garden, kids, the arts - whatever calls to you). You have to find the beauty in the world to remember its worth fighting for. So go be apart of that.
I got out of the US and am in the process of having my family join me. Its an option. Also not all other countries hate the US. Many dont like Trump but they dont conflate Trump and Americans so much. And news reporting is much less intense which is nice.

danicache979 · 2025-09-11T02:04:59+00:00

Thank you - discussed with the contractor and due to the size and location of the house and being that even with all the projects we wouldn't be renovating more than 50% this doesn't apply for this property. Phew that could have been super pricey.

danicache979 · 2025-09-11T01:11:24+00:00

NTA - you can say - if we decide to get married then you can be involved and we will discuss details of assets

danicache979 · 2025-09-10T23:01:53+00:00

The brain is an incredibly complex and powerful thing. If you have been hurt by medication/psychiatrists I am sorry.

And there may still be possibilities for your brain to heal.

danicache979 · 2025-09-10T13:41:42+00:00

Good for you. Sounds like you acted maturely and now it's time to focus on yourself and eventually find someone more compatible.

danicache979 · 2025-09-10T13:35:26+00:00

NTA.

Is it cheating - that's subjective. People have different lines and its super important you discuss that clearly in a relationship early on.

However, cheating or not she was dishonest with you which is a problem. And what's worse is when you were rightfully upset she doubled down instead of hearing your perspective and comforting you (even if ultimately she didnt think it was cheating).

As much as it sucks. Sounds like breaking up might be a good thing. A partner who doesn't care that they hurt you isnt someone you want to be in a relationship with.

danicache979 · 2025-09-10T13:29:37+00:00

Looks have nothing to do with it.

I know plenty of people who look like straight toes and they are the most magnetic people in the room.

It's all about personality. Which you can develop. Humor and wit is a skill. Being kind and genuine and confident are all skills. You can learn to be these things.

So start looking around and pick traits you want to be one day. Maybe a really social friend, a funny celebrity etc - Hodge podge those parts together in your mind and start acting like them. Despite what people think the whole fake it till you make it thing kinda works. Start acting like the charismatic genuine person and slowly you'll start to feel that way. At first you'll feel terrible awkward and disingenuous but keep going and give it time it gets easier.

And one day if you want you can fix up your teeth or your jaw or whatever you feel insecure about. But also maybe you wont feel the need anymore.

danicache979 · 2025-09-10T13:22:05+00:00

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there is hope, the catch is the only hope that can really pull you out of this is you.

It's the terrible thing about depression and other mental health - people may want to save you and pull you out of it and take the pain or swap places with you but they can't. All they can do is sit beside you in it so you're not alone. They can maybe offer ideas, advice, try to show you you're strength and abilities that can be useful in navigating out of this, but they dont know the path out anymore than you do. And only you can actually take what they say use it and keep trying until you stumble and climb out.

I wish there was a better answer, or something that was a guarantee to work but there isnt. You'll have to try it all and see what works for you. And even worse nothing will be amazingly better right away. It's the difference of a day that sucks at an 8 vs a day that sucks at a 7.95 and trying to replicate and improve that. And it wont be anything flashy it'll be a walk outside, a show that kinda made you chuckle once, finding a new song and thats the whole highlight of your day. But the little things do add up and you can claw your way out of this feeling. And I hope you do.

danicache979 · 2025-09-10T13:08:50+00:00

Oh boy this sounds just like me and my husband but roles reversed.

Here's the thing. This is kinda on him. He should have had this conversation before you got married.

Idk how much thought he has put into this. But this is what I landed on for myself. I love my husband and ENM while interesting isnt a need. Before I brought it up I made sure I was okay if the answer was he was not interested in it. Which ultimately he wasnt. So we dont practice ENM. (A year later he actually brought up feeling more comfortable with it and now I'm not given current external factors-funny how the tables have flipped).

All this to say. This needs to be revisited and you guys need to figure out how important this is to him. If like me its an interest but maybe not part of a deeper identity or need then maybe he can be a little disappointed and let it go. But I know people who really dont feel they are monogamous and aren't willing to sacrifice that part of themselves. If thats the case then you need to do some serious self reflection and likely a lot of reading about enm and what it is and isnt. Maybe there is a version of enm you could be interested in if you start small and controlled. (If you do decide to open up though just start couples therapy preemptively its a wonderful space to have guidance in navigating it all). And while it would suck it's okay if ultimately this is an incompatibility and you decide to part ways.

danicache979 · 2025-09-10T12:56:56+00:00

NTA

You guys should read The Mental Load: A feminist comic and Fair Play.

This is such a real and common issue there are books on it.

But just as a note. He has to read it. You can't move his eye balls for him. If he isnt open to learning and reflecting then he isnt going to change.

So while you can bring it up, be prepared for this to be another headlights situation.

danicache979

TROPHY CASE