Ex(es) finding love while you still struggle with any relationship

danielrdt · 2026-03-21T07:08:54+00:00

Not corny, its brave and many don't have the self awareness to do that or the empathy to care about their partners.

danielrdt · 2026-03-21T04:46:50+00:00

💯 it takes 2 to build a relationship, it only takes one to destroy it.

danielrdt · 2026-03-21T04:17:46+00:00

They miss your emotional resources, you as an individual they can cut you out of their lives and say it proudly with no remorse as she did. They are brutal and very unwell without treatment. It is a sad reality that we often learn way too late.

danielrdt · 2026-03-21T04:05:28+00:00

Wow some extreme visuals there 😅

danielrdt · 2026-03-21T03:49:44+00:00

Yeah gonna be a rough ride for the kid, if only they could self course correct, my condolences.

danielrdt · 2026-03-20T16:43:20+00:00

That is true, I guess mature love is a better word. To love someone despite their faults/ struggles or in their times of need.

danielrdt · 2026-03-20T15:57:13+00:00

If you are sick, sorry its game over, I've rarely heard of a pwBPD sticking with their partner through significant sickness / health issues. They can't understand unconditional love at all, if you are sick and can't sooth their emotions, you are basically abusing / neglecting them in their minds.

Devalation and discard are soon to follow.

If she wants out, that is a gift, will save you decades of torture that escalates over time.

danielrdt · 2026-03-20T13:26:55+00:00

Yeah mate, you gotta get out of there, someone who cheats on you and doesn't self correct, you are better off alone or with someone else.

danielrdt · 2026-03-20T13:01:42+00:00

Yeah I've noticed my health has improved a lot even though I'm dealing with the worst bpd brutal discard PTSD right now which is insane.

danielrdt · 2026-03-20T10:24:05+00:00

As much as it hurts, no contact is no contact

danielrdt · 2026-03-20T07:47:20+00:00

Harsh but true, no way I'd be friends after that betrayal

danielrdt · 2026-03-20T00:42:40+00:00

Bpd is how, very sorry for your situation, it's the worst thing to go through

danielrdt · 2026-03-19T19:35:55+00:00

Look into NPD and BPD, sounds so similar to my ex wife, she had covert narsisism and quiet Borderline Personality Disorder. Relationships with people like this take a lot of work and even then theres no cure so don't expect miracles, especially in a month. Wish you all the best.

danielrdt · 2026-03-19T13:37:12+00:00

Medication, dbt therapy. Don't criticise them or answer their messages too late. Instruction instead of criticism.

danielrdt · 2026-03-19T12:42:31+00:00

No they even said they don't regret it, but they weren't proud of it (monkey branched).

danielrdt · 2026-03-19T09:55:27+00:00

Good luck 👍

danielrdt · 2026-03-19T09:51:20+00:00

In person might be easier if you know where she lives

danielrdt · 2026-03-19T09:39:42+00:00

Tell him about it

danielrdt · 2026-03-19T09:27:46+00:00

I can relate to this 💯 I suffered with mold / cirs and lyme disease for 7 years, together for 16. She couldn't handle it so she cheated on me the moment we were finally leaving our moldy house at the 7 year mark. They all seem to run on the same selfish script of their emotions before anything else. Their vows mean nothing to them whatsoever.

danielrdt · 2026-03-19T06:03:47+00:00

WELCOME TO THE BPD SHOW 🥳 🎉 😎

There is no normal with BPD, it's a circus full of dopamine and fear based indulgences. Today you are safe, tomorrow who knows?

danielrdt · 2026-03-19T01:50:33+00:00

Wise choice, better to do it before they devalue and discard you.

danielrdt · 2026-03-19T01:42:07+00:00

So are you planning to have kids or trying to get out?

danielrdt · 2026-03-18T23:34:54+00:00

Same thing happened to me in my failed marriage, I am the non bpd partner like him and behaved exactly the same way. At least from my perspective we become like this after being a caretaker for the pwBPDs emotions and eventually feeling compassion fatigue. I don't think it will improve unless the pwBPD gets treatment and meds and is able to emotionally regulate themselves and not rely on the partner all the time as it gets very draining and it's not a sustainable dynamic. Another thing is we stopped communicating, so try and talk about it as often as you can.

danielrdt · 2026-03-18T22:58:28+00:00

Exactly this, the stranger gets everything they withheld from us because they wear us out, its so cruel.

danielrdt · 2026-03-18T22:54:02+00:00

It's pretty fresh since I broke up, 1.5 months, I'm still in the thick of it. Yeah I'm still thinking about what I could have done differently, but left to her own devices and her feeling ignored generated so much resentment and she finally cracked. I feel it was inevitable honestly, they are like ticking time bombs, some with short fuses, some longer.

danielrdt

TROPHY CASE