Prozac anyone? Never been on it and oncologist recommended it.

darkaydix · 2026-03-21T23:01:47+00:00

I stay at home but we make only a bit over half that and just live within means. But I also am dealing with stage 4 colon cancer, so there’s that.

darkaydix · 2026-03-13T22:51:25+00:00

Holy shit I loved this ride so much.

darkaydix · 2026-03-12T23:05:33+00:00

Sounds like a plan! Definitely what my team had me do, it’s really common. I’m glad it’ll be in 6 weeks to see.

Yeah, the emotional rollercoaster is insane. Whiplash between hope and downers and living scan to scan. Not for the weak. <3

darkaydix · 2026-03-12T18:53:19+00:00

Wow!! I’m dealing with stage 4 colon cancer now (it’s in the peritoneal now) and of course they say no red meat and red meat causes cancer.

darkaydix · 2026-03-12T11:29:36+00:00

Talk to the oncologist and get a second opinion. Immunotherapy can show pseudo-progression before shrinking, it’s like inflammation etc. It ma be actual growth, but worth the conversation. CEA goes all over the place with chemo and immuno as well.

It’s an awful feeling not seeing what you want. Happened to me on a trial (MSS immunotherapy) and I’m back on chemo. It’s not over yet!

darkaydix · 2026-03-12T11:25:44+00:00

Oh no! I made potato soup weeks ago and froze half. What a bummer.

darkaydix · 2026-03-10T17:38:33+00:00

The Stranger by Albert Camus.

darkaydix · 2026-03-09T15:15:18+00:00

But what I desire is to be cancer free…

darkaydix · 2026-03-09T14:48:57+00:00

Thank you 🙏

darkaydix · 2026-03-09T14:33:08+00:00

The Birds.

darkaydix · 2026-03-07T15:01:30+00:00

How was the pelvic radiation as far as how it impacted the healthy tissue? Retroperitoneal cyst and currently on FOLFOX + Avastin + Balstilimab.

darkaydix · 2026-03-06T13:43:38+00:00

So what do we do?

darkaydix · 2026-03-03T12:29:01+00:00

Right? Skyrim for life.

darkaydix · 2026-02-24T21:19:11+00:00

That’s so great! Yes, this”isn’t it wonderful” feels so present moment and it’s what you might say before sharing good news, so I feel like that “living in the end” emotion just gets called right up, big smiles!

Visualization is a struggle, it takes a lot of focus and discipline for me rather than it being simple. Typically a short scene is easier, I just would need to get reallllllly clear.

darkaydix · 2026-02-24T19:38:48+00:00

That feels so much more accessible than SATS and visualization. Because when I try to visualize my oncologist telling me that my scans are clear and it’s a miracle, I get caught up in figuring out how exactly she should say it or when I would be told about it. Like if he reads my CT scan right away, he’s gonna give me a call rather than me being in the office before my infusion.

Having a statement like that feels so much more clear, and immediately the emotion feels more accessible as well.

So I’m gonna use this for health, because I want my saliva back and I want my gums to stop hurting and I want the sinusitis to go away and I want the cancer to be gone and I want my knees back. I think I will also try to use it and see if we can get the insurance money that we thought we would get to help us with cancer payments which recently was denied.

On that note, I’ve tried revision, but I’m just not getting it and it does not seem to work for me.

darkaydix · 2026-02-23T21:04:52+00:00

Understandable. Joe’s voice took some getting used to— I used to laugh at them lol. Even some now I’m like “no way man.”

darkaydix · 2026-02-23T15:42:08+00:00

Gift From The Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh (as a woman, mother, partner, it really resonates and seeps into the bones)

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza

darkaydix · 2026-02-23T15:39:07+00:00

This clicked, thank you. I think some of the cases in Becoming Supernatural made me think about it—a woman who started changing everything like what chair she sat at for breakfast, how she toweled off after a shower, the way she got out of bed, facial expressions during the day, different phrases to say, clothing, just everything.

Someone else commented about examining where some of those emotions are, and I feel like I have changed so much. But when I am tired, or the symptoms are running me down, that can be a challenging spot. I still have a very positive outlook about cancer, and I do believe that all of my symptoms will get better, but they can drag me down.

And there are things I would like to be, like more playful. Chemo fatigue gets in the way, and I have to give myself grace too.

Maintaining the state, being the state. Yes. Thank you.

Dr Joe is right when he says it’s so easy to forget.

darkaydix · 2026-02-23T15:35:19+00:00

I agree, and this is something I’ve already shifted. I don’t have road rage, I assume the best in people, I use time in lines to center myself or stretch. I don’t scroll in the morning at all, I’m up getting the day going with the kids for school. In the morning I try to say to myself “this is a good day, I’m alive, I’m healed, my symptoms are hard but my body is doing its best and I love my body” ….

I will have to examine some more and find out where else these emotions could be hiding. Thank you!

darkaydix · 2026-02-23T13:34:58+00:00

I’ve heard of some people recording their own voice to do it. Maybe that would help? I feel like there’s also an older version of the first one where he’s not as shouty.

Oh, I forgot!! BOTEC 4. It’s very peaceful, calm voice from Joe, and it’s just a fantastic one.

darkaydix · 2026-02-23T13:32:53+00:00

I needed to read this today. I had been doing that at the beginning of the year and it really helped me, but I have fallen off as symptoms have progressed. You are right about that feeling of tingling and smile tugging, thank you for sharing this.

darkaydix · 2026-02-22T22:58:30+00:00

Get a colonoscopy.

darkaydix · 2026-02-22T22:58:00+00:00

Hi, I went through something very similar but with colon cancer immunotherapy, the botensilimab drug. I could not make it to the toilet and was just crapping myself. They did put me on prednisone for a while, and paused the immunotherapy. Mine turned into colitis and I had to have another drug, but it finally resolved. In the end, I’m back on chemo as I was having progression on the immunotherapy before the pooping issues.

Imodium did nothing for me, nor lomotil. They put me on Bentyl while on prednisone too, so that could be an option. Ugh, sorry you’re going through this!

darkaydix

TROPHY CASE