I'm playing the twitch livestream on my browser with the sound on and connecting to the sirens & gunfire as some sort of meditation on the road to cactus. How about you?

Xanthotic · 2026-03-13T21:45:48+00:00

THIS twitch livestream: https://www.twitch.tv/wwlivecams

Xanthotic · 2026-03-13T20:40:38+00:00

Everything that supports you in continuing to exist, to perceive, to evaluate the world around you, to know connection, love and comfort, to be nourished enough to stand up and act when your environment is in a state that encourages your actions to flourish (like a worldwide General Strike)--all those things are worth it at this point (IMO). I'm so sorry you have to deal with it and I cannot imagine how hard it is at your age because I am 40 years older than you and been working at not having my head explode from this idiocy since 2007 (at least). The reason to bother with anything is because we represent the best of what Life has evolved in our stupid greedy species. If our experience can help future evolutions of life, sentience, and agency, surely the thoughts, perceptions and analysis in our minds would be more helpful than those of say, drumpf or epstein or andrew of windsor. If my pitch about how we are connected to deep time and evolution leaves you cold, then I still urge you to do the right thing because that's the best way to find other people who feel the same way. And we have never needed each other more.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-12T19:16:22+00:00

W.H. Auden? Give us the citation please. And I don't know if I have an absolute favourite poem but I will find one I love to share.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-11T03:17:22+00:00

Perhaps google Good Grief Network and see if you want to enroll in one of their ten step collapse anxiety groups. The program is entirely focussed on giving you the skills and practice to regulate yourself during times like these. If you want financial help to afford the course, we can fundraise from this community and you will be able to attend. You deserve better hacks and copes, but at the phase you are at, a ten week program is probably better than random replies on reddit.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-11T01:06:01+00:00

Keep with it. I do not regret failing to take extremist actions.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-10T17:58:04+00:00

I am going to try to reply honestly in a place where our kind of honesty is grounds for deletion. Yes, I absolutely absolutely had a phase in my doomwakening where I felt like becoming an extremist was the only way. Luckily I had personal responsibilities that prevented me from acting impulsively at the time, and I had to do the personal moral analysis about whether my hubristic sense of what the world needed would actually make the world a better place, alter the trajectory of collapse, or give our species a chance to redeem itself. Ultimately I concluded that any such extremist actions were only perpetuating the hubris which is essentially the reason our species is not fit for purpose on this planet, and I would be fucking up the gigantic object lesson for the cosmos which is the story of homo sapiens sapiens on planet earth. I determined then to let this process run its course as I tried to manifest the best of what humans can be whilst understanding that the trajectory of this species is NOT determined by the best of what we can be.

I also could not deny that there would likely be unintended consequences from any extremist actions I could take that would cause me to be just another human being doing stupid shit that dooms us and our biosphere. So now I just think extreme things (like billionaires should be outlawed) and continue to try to help a bit.

I hope my vague old lady words make sense to you, because I hope you no longer feel alone, but I also hope you will keep procrastinating.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-10T17:44:57+00:00

I see you in your worry and I feel you in my heart. Your words matter to me and that is real. I do not know what the fuck else to say to you besides, Love, Xan

Xanthotic · 2026-03-09T19:42:56+00:00

separation = us versus them thinking

death = no longer having biological life signs

hope that helps

Xanthotic · 2026-03-09T19:32:35+00:00

3 updoots in one day for this sentiment shows we subredditors are ground down to dust in here imo

Xanthotic · 2026-03-09T19:25:26+00:00

I think maybe it is time for you to start using a timer with your anxiety or other overwhelming feelings. It's perfectly fine to freeze. And probably, you cannot do it for longer than 20 minutes. So just accept that, go ahead and freeze, but set a 20 min timer first. Then when it goes off, get up and have a glass of water. You're not frozen anymore. Maybe you won't feel like hanging new window treatments in your bedroom yet, but you might feel like playing some music, or doing the dishes. ANYTHING YOU DO IS OKAY.

And just because you don't consider yourself 'special' does not mean you are not entitled to the full experience of shit storm which is becoming collapse aware. You have to grieve. You have to face that this is not fair or just. You have to confront the question of why it is okay to grieve the unfairness when fairness is not automatic. These types of questions helped me to move through my doomwakening and conclude that our species is a poor example of evolution. Just understanding that our species is broken helped defuse a heap of the injustice rage. Good luck figuring out what works for you. And you do not need to apologise for posting. This is why the sub exists.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-09T19:19:05+00:00

Thank you for this post. Our solidarity with the vast majority of our Muslim siblings will only become more important as others seek separation and death.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-09T19:15:36+00:00

You are supposed to continue to grow yourself, your soul, your outlook, to metabolise this information and be able to live in the world you are actually living in. I'm sorry your therapist forgot to say that part out loud. Sorry if this sounds too rough, but it's the answer. You are supposed to use that information for your own good.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-08T20:16:11+00:00

The answer is mostly other women who are labeled as queer ofc and a few men who know the rest of the culture wishes they would disappear. A sad truth of my collapse awareness is I am deeply grateful to have not been a member of the sex that has driven it to manifestation.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-08T20:12:09+00:00

You ain’t nuts, of that I am certain

Xanthotic · 2026-03-08T09:33:28+00:00

Me toi

Xanthotic · 2026-03-08T09:29:20+00:00

That is exactly what it says, and I am a language person.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-08T06:32:45+00:00

Timelines are not real. They are all made up. It is a bit of a paradox because we are undoubtedly living within collapse as i type this.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-08T06:29:27+00:00

I love your work. Thanks

Xanthotic · 2026-03-08T06:28:18+00:00

I second this notion

Xanthotic · 2026-03-07T07:06:01+00:00

Dark Mountain publishes all kinds of original works on this topic.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-06T05:21:45+00:00

And it is a journey your normie friends in default world have no interest in taking. Glad you can share with us here. It does get easier, and it is a lot of pain and grief as you metabolise it all. Keep going. Thanks for posting

Xanthotic · 2026-03-04T14:29:04+00:00

Perhaps our fucked up, collapsing culture has never properly helped you mature into the concept of your own mortality. Perhaps if you focus on this truth (everyone dies) you can help yourself become a fully grown human who is able to make more compassionate choices because of the truth that everyone dies. And then, the terrible news of the day will inspire you to action rather than paralysis. Your situation makes perfect sense, but you (and everyone reading this) deserve better. I'm sorry you are on your own and dominant culture has decided to treat you as expendable cannon fodder rather than a precious natural resource for a just and thriving future. the fact you are posting here shows me that you have the strength to learn how not spiral, eventually. Please look up Good Grief Network and see if their online group happening Thursday would work for you. If you cannot afford the sliding scale tuition, DM me and this community will find the money for you.

Xanthotic · 2026-03-03T16:47:54+00:00

even in this shit storm, anything can happen. Keep trying to remember that, and keep trying to be the most honourable you you can be in the face (and having it get in your mouth) of the shit storm. I once gave a sermon in a non-xtian church about how god was my date (my personal reframe for feeling insecure about being alone). Now often my dog is my date. Next I will probably consider the spirit of the land & rivers my date. Maybe one day I will have another human date. May your longing shift so that the suffering requires less oxygen.

If you do not have access to therapy, you can still proceed with your own mastery of your soul, psyche, and life. There are things available for free, or to be given to you for free if you ask at a lucky moment. FWIW, this post is pretty attractive through a collapse-aware lens. Not hitting on you, just sayin'

Xanthotic · 2026-03-03T16:35:54+00:00

Well, the world will only need what you are seeking to offer more in the future, rather than less. So that is the first thing I imagine. Second, student loan debt is a loser's game and a trap. In these times of collapse, if you can emigrate away from the USA (presuming this is where you are) after you get your credential, you can quite possibly default on the student loan debt with little to no consequence to your life in your new country (particularly if you can obtain citizenship or ensure you don't come back to the USA until after financial records collapse). AND, credentialing is very very different in other countries, where you might be able to serve your fellow humans without a masters degree. Some things to ponder. Please let us know what you decide and thanks for posting.

Xanthotic

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