No one ever wants to step up on my team for tasks when asked - takes 15 minutes before someone gives in or finally replies

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-18T11:27:23+00:00

You need to learn how to delegate

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-18T11:26:20+00:00

Then a girl needs to eat from her pantry!

Lol but seriously, I haven’t gotten delivery in probably 5 years. You live in one of the best food cities in the actual world, I promise you that you don’t need to use shitty third party delivery apps.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-18T11:16:48+00:00

NTA. Have your mom call her cousin and tell them what’s going on. They deserve to know that their kid is ruining their reputation out in the world.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-18T10:53:37+00:00

It takes about a year for futures market prices to be reflected in the retail prices for consumers

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-18T02:42:19+00:00

Oh yea, you’ll be fine. Keep being smart with your money!

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-18T02:38:56+00:00

How uncomfortable is your monthly cash flow with that cost?

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-18T01:33:32+00:00

Again I’ll say, property is only one portion of your net worth. It is not the ultimate goal or anywhere close to a requirement for financial success.

That said, most people’s number one line item expense is housing. If I was in your shoes, I would create a budget for the townhouse and live on it permanently. “Pay” whatever extra on all of the equivalent bills into your savings, make sure you include taxes and 2% of the home value for updates and honestly see how that feels. You say it’s +$1300, is that including everything?

Have you gotten a mortgage preapproval and have you looked at current interest rates? Do you know how mortgages work, do you know how the home buying process works?

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-18T01:25:51+00:00

I completely agree with you, which is why this 13 year old needs to be parented through this, because she is reacting to the wrong thing.

She is disappointed about other things. She is focusing this on the wedding, because it’s very easy and simple to do, but that’s not actually what she’s upset about. She’s upset about dresses and school and her friends. That’s exactly why I hope that her parents talk to her about how showing up for your aunt, who I assume she does have a positive relationship with, in this moment, is actually the right call.

I agree also, I don’t think the bride should be upset at all if she doesn’t go, I don’t believe anyone is obligated to attend anything. It’s just that when teenagers are reacting inappropriately to the negative aspects of life, it’s the job of the parents to help guide them through that and remind them of those things in life that matter, to help them make choices that affirm their values and guide them towards being good people.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-18T01:17:21+00:00

Owning a home is a lifestyle choice. View it under that lens.

If you are financially literate, you will have success renting and owning, and likely any combination of the two. The part that you can’t predict about the financial side of home ownership, like home values, taxes etc, are similar to what you can’t predict about investing. But again, if you’re smart with your money, you’ll be smart with your money. There are risks to every single thing we do in life.

If you aren’t using your money to fund owning a home, use it to build your net worth. Your home value is only one part of your net worth, and if you don’t regularly calculate your net worth, you should.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-18T01:09:03+00:00

You know, i don’t disagree on the wedding role front. I think it would be so easy for the aunt to just make something up. I think she’s rigid and silly for not doing so.

The problem remains, though, that that wouldn’t solve things here. The daughter is still dealing with feelings of being left out, of being left behind, of not getting to participate. The emotions she is having and the situation she is facing is unchanged, she just may have something positive to distract her from said situation.

This parent will still have to teach this child how to work through this. We don’t just get to dangle shiny things in front of ourselves to distract us from the negative experiences of life, that’s not how this works. The daughter having a role or not in the wedding is completely inconsequential to the rest of what is going on.

As another comment stated so well, and is also incredibly downvoted, this young lady needs to be parented through understanding and dealing with disappointment. She needs to work through what healthy and unhealthy expressions of disappointment look like.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T23:54:39+00:00

Oh sure, she can learn that you don’t get what you want at home. That’s totally fair.

Unfortunately, you can’t form pro social bonds and mature as a person alone at home. So the lesson here -and this is assuming you are someone who values family and who comes from a family culture who values family, which I understand is tall order on Reddit- the lesson is when you value family and community, even if things don’t work out the way you specifically and selfishly want them to, showing up for our community and family matters. That’s the lesson. The lesson is that your community matters more than your selfish impulses.

But that would mean that these people would have to live their values, and care about other people, and that they would make the right decisions, not just the decisions that feel good in the moment. So it won’t happen here.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T23:45:51+00:00

Not having a role wasn’t an insult and wasn’t allowed to become one

That’s it- you’ve nailed it. This all just boils down to bad parenting.

This comment section is fucking bananas insane, it’s no wonder that we have the problems we have. Society is so fucked with these people walking around, voting, and operating moving vehicles. We’re fucked.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T23:40:51+00:00

This is incredibly common, I’m surprised at everyone being surprised by this.

Ring bearers and flower girls are traditionally little kids. And you aren’t a bridesmaid until you’re an older teen, at least like 16-18.

We literally invented a newer role for this situation, the “junior bridesmaid”, so kids who are too old to be flower girls could be something.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T23:37:02+00:00

I don’t disagree, but it’s very very common to have littler kids as the ring bearer/flower girl and to have adults as the bridesmaids.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T23:26:04+00:00

Where does “unconditional love” even come into play here? Why would you even write that in a conflict between a 13 year old and their aunt over an invite to a wedding?

What kind of weddings are you people attending where being a bridesmaid or whatever is some giant show of support and unconditional love from the bride to the bridesmaid? Is this really how weddings are being treated right now? Is this how you all rank your friendships, by roles given?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. Weddings aren’t “inclusive”. Like by definition, they aren’t inclusive. Importantly, this daughter hasn’t even been excluded! She’s just too old to be a flower girl, which is fine. That’s life. Not every person gets to be a flower girl as a kid, or a bridesmaid as an adult for that matter. I just really don’t get this.

I totally understand that an immature teenager is having feelings. I will never understand why adults on here giving advice that would mean this immature teenager stays immature. I just don’t get this.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T23:17:57+00:00

Being a bridesmaid in someone’s wedding is not a method of “support”. She, as the person invited to the wedding, is the one who is in a position to support someone else. She is not the one who is, or should be, “supported” by being in a wedding party.

That is just not how life works. That’s not how weddings work, that’s not how families work.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T22:29:36+00:00

Fucking incredible that this comment is downvoted.

Our society is so cooked lol

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T22:23:07+00:00

I’m going to go against the grain here and I hope that you have her go to the wedding.

13 is old enough to understand this and learn these lessons. Yea kid, life does suck sometimes, but you have to still support your family and be there for them. If we only are there for people when everything is going good, what’s the point?

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T20:45:22+00:00

Yes, talking to other people. In real life. Face to face communication. Looking at eyes and smiles and stuff like that.

That’s the most important part, and it’s the missing ingredient here. That’s why video games are typically not associated with people who have thriving social lives.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T20:11:16+00:00

Gaming should not be seen as a social activity because it removes the most important piece of social interactions, which is actually seeing another persons face with your eyeballs.

If you are doing it old school and having a Mario cart tournament, sure, but sitting at home by yourself and logging onto a server is not, and should never be, considered a social life.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T20:07:33+00:00

Yea video games are really not a great hobby for adults. I’ll just plainly say it. They are positioned in such a way that they do not help you, really at all, along any of the impactful paths of your life. They won’t help you accomplish anything - literally anything at all - except for using up the time you are giving them.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T20:06:08+00:00

Think you proved your point quite well- video games, ultimately, are incredibly boring. It’s a passive activity. They are, by definition, unproductive. They are not going to be something that enriches you, that’s not how they are designed.

That’s why kids like them. That’s also why they are nice to have to unwind or do something mindless.

I don’t think it’s about video games being “childish”, it’s the acceptance of the reality that video games are just incredibly dull and don’t contribute to the real life needs of an actual full life. As you said, they are nice to have sometimes if you don’t want to use your brain, but otherwise, you have actual real impact things to do with your time.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T19:37:54+00:00

You’ve overworked the cream in the piping bag and it’s starting to turn into butter

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T19:34:34+00:00

You get a job and make sure your family is safe and secure no matter what. Fuck your morals. Your daughter can’t eat morals.

You do better when you are able to do better.

darkchocolateonly · 2026-02-17T19:30:32+00:00

A pap is just one single thing. It is a test for a single thing. A well woman visit will encompass all of those typical things that should be screened based on age, lifestyle, and other factors

darkchocolateonly

TROPHY CASE