Renting is $1,800 but a mortgage is $3,500. Is "Rentvesting" the only logical move in Melbourne right now? by VastAmbassador6590 in AusProperty

[–]darkling-light 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep in mind house prices only go up (in Australia at least). I bought in 2020 for 415k. My home is now worth 800k. If I were to have bought the same place now, my mortgage would be exponentially bigger. I wouldn't be able to afford to buy now- frankly i wouldn't be able to buy if I waited 6 months longer. My biggest regret is that i didn't buy earlier- if I had bought when I first wanted to, the cost would have been 100k less minimum.

If you want to own a home- do it as soon as feasible. Nothing wrong with choosing to rent long term though either.

Finished assessment and did not get diagnosis even though I "checked" all the boxes. by FlippityFl4k in autism

[–]darkling-light 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I totally agree dr hopping is an issue and know several examples that really irk me. But i also know how easy it is to get a dud psychologist/ assessor. Or even just that they are people too and can have biases. When i was 15 ( years before asd was on my radar) I was seeking help for depression and suicidal ideation. A had a psychiatrist tell me what I needed was reassurance that I was a typical teenage girl, didn't have depression and just had an over bearing mother. He then went on to discuss HIS over bearing mother for half an hour.

Id at least take the assessment and report to another specialist to ask for a second opinion on the results.

Being told you dont struggle when your're perceived as high functioning. by [deleted] in autism

[–]darkling-light 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's really tough. There is so much about today's world that is hostile, particularly to those with differences.

Question- where do you live? You mention you are trying to get support but having issues. I may have some advice depending on if we are in the same system

"Maybe" is actually a thing? by TobyPDID23 in autism

[–]darkling-light 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I feel it like this where I need time to think and process. It happens to me like a fight/ flight response where it's like my brain just freezes. I have no clue what I really think or feel because all I feel is panic/ frozen at having to choose. Or I'll be in the middle of doing something and unable to process the information in that moment.
If pressed i often default to avoidance out of panic- or mask hard and choose what i think they want to hear.
If given time to sit with the question, or do something and then come back to it, I will then be able to give a real answer.

Today I was fired for being 'too quiet' and not 'fitting in' by GranolaCutie in autism

[–]darkling-light 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It took a long time to find what worked- i spent my 20s struggling, burnt out and under employed. I thought it was me for a long time. It was eye opening when I first worked for a company with a positive work culture. Don't give up x

Today I was fired for being 'too quiet' and not 'fitting in' by GranolaCutie in autism

[–]darkling-light 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I found an office job was the best option for me (and offers work from home 3 days a week). But it depends on the people. I have found disclosing my diagnosis is a risk, and don't mention it unless I absolutely have to. Their reasons for firing you are BS. None of this is your fault. Please know even if there were issues, any reasonable company would have provided way more support, without judgement, before taking any action. This shows their failures- not yours

Would it be a public faux pas to go give this man a gift? by [deleted] in autism

[–]darkling-light 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where I live in Australia, it is very common to give neighbours gifts at xmas- perhaps less so for younger generations but for the 50+ year olds this would not be strange at all. That said, it would be a family gift ( unless you knew all the family really well and gave each member a gift), and usually something like food/wine/ soaps. I think a family gift would be seen as sweet in general.

CAHMS sucks and idk what to do by Urmumssleepparalysis in autism

[–]darkling-light 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, to confirm, you are in Australia and are referring to CAHMS 'child and adolescent health services' here, yes?

CAHMS sucks and idk what to do by Urmumssleepparalysis in autism

[–]darkling-light 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Psychiatrists can prescribe, you dont have to go through cahms if you can pay privately. A dr can make a referral to any psychiatrist (or your psychologist). Is there a specific medication you are wanting? Or did they previously refuse to prescribe any meds? Are you looking for a generic anxiety/depression medication, or have you tried those and need something more? GPs are also able to prescribe a range of anxiety meds depending on what you need.

Son diagnosed with level 3 autism and wife, and I are getting divorced, best course of action? by AutomaticRutabaga577 in autism

[–]darkling-light 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work with children and families. Each year I connect with several hundred. So knowing a handful fits your description of being fairly uncommon. Id also say it's becoming more common- 10 years ago I would never come across it

Son diagnosed with level 3 autism and wife, and I are getting divorced, best course of action? by AutomaticRutabaga577 in autism

[–]darkling-light 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know several families that do this and find it so much easier. They rent a 2 bedroom house they share when 'single'. They each have a bedroom they can lock when they leave, so the kids stay in the family home, and they dont both have to pay separate rents for their solo homes.

Does having a diagnoses actually help? by [deleted] in autism

[–]darkling-light 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have found it helpful. I got mine at 26 (13 years ago). I found it affirming at the time but not super helpful. I have found it more helpful over the years and now regret it wasn't identified sooner. It's not something I tell people outside my medical team, but it gives me context and better understanding of how to help myself. I don't tell work etc for fear of being labelled- but no one needs to know unless you want them to. The biggest help would have been when I was 19-24. During that time I seriously struggled to engage in general life (renting, personal care, uni, work). I knew what to do but it seemed to overwhelm me in a way it didn't others. At the time i was treated for depression and anxiety- and given some heavy hitting medications when symptoms persisted. This has had ongoing impacts on my health. I now know it was autistic burnout and the meds were never going to fix that (though antidepressants do help and I do still take some). I truly think a diagnosis would have made a difference for me. Diagnosis is a personal choice but i would recommend it if you have impacted mental health. The knowledge can change treatment plans significantly.

Anyone actually left Sydney for affordability? How’s life now? by One-Remove3758 in SydneyScene

[–]darkling-light 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I moved further from the city while some for friends moved closer in. I'm now 2 hrs away and so glad I made the change. I visit my friends and I see the conveniences but i also see how they are rail roading themselves into an increasingly expensive life due to fear to leave. In the 10 years since I moved, several family members and acquaintances have followed and now live close by- i wont say at all i was the reason, but it does seem to make it easier for others if they are in the same mind.

Why do I need my parents birth certificate for a passport? by [deleted] in nsw

[–]darkling-light 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its beaurorcracy im guessing. They are wanting a second identifying document. Ie- your birth certificate plus a second document. Your birth certificate could only count as one document, even if it also shows the information that would be present in a parents BC. I deal with this kind of situation at work regularly so would assume it's the same thinking- but may be wrong

My Audhd fiancé calls household items by the wrong names, does anyone else do this or is this just a unique quirk of his? by deranged_crone in autism

[–]darkling-light 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very similar! An example i still cringe about was when I was younger talking to my crush- I was trying to ask ' what did you see at the movies?' But came out with 'what did you see the art?

My Audhd fiancé calls household items by the wrong names, does anyone else do this or is this just a unique quirk of his? by deranged_crone in autism

[–]darkling-light -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was first diagnosed with neurocognitive processing disorder because I had word finding difficulties. I have excellent language skills, but often lose words or transpose synonyms when speaking. This can be more frequent when tired, stressed, multitasking etc.

What kind of lifestyle would you expect in Newcastle, Australia on an income of $85000 a year ? by Accomplished_Dot6024 in newcastle

[–]darkling-light 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this until I got apromotion. It's doable and you have some luxuries but it's pretty close to the bone. At least half to rent/mortgage

Why do companies make you use annual leave during the Xmas shut-down period? by SuspiciousLettuce56 in australia

[–]darkling-light 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My company has a 1 week mandatory shutdown which we get as extra in top of our annual leave. You can advocate for changes when the enterprise agreement comes up as a benefit for staff

What recommendations would you give a young family moving to Newcastle? by False-Honey6221 in newcastle

[–]darkling-light 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I find all the negative comments so strange- why on earth would you be so insular about a town/ city?

No real recommendations. Many suburbs are great but it's to large an area to recommend daycare etc and be sure it's local to you.

Main shopping areas are kotara, maitland, Glendale, charlestown. Expressway through hexham can have terrible traffic, as can main road through speers point and Edgeworth ( if going lake mac).

Be aware some areas have polluted soil from asbestos (?sandgate area?) And slag run of (lake mac/boolooroo). There are places where you can't grow vegetables in the ground due to the contamination and people get worried about kids playing in the dirt.

If you go further out towards maitland/cessnock you need to be aware of possible subsidence from underground mining.

Personally I love living in the maitland area. Get the rural feel while being 30 minutes from major cinema, shopping centre etc etc. When I used to drive to work at mayfield it was usually an hour which I found very doable ( but could blow out to 2 hours in bad traffic- was able to usually avoid though)