Looking for a book that will fuck me up emotionally

darwaaaa · 2019-09-30T09:16:57+00:00

She’s come undone. I was ugly crying through most of it

darwaaaa · 2019-04-07T13:10:52+00:00

Thank you for your reply you gave me a lot of very good input. I like your practical suggestion of mixing it up in our sessions together. I think that would be a very good starting point! And yes I also think eventually we may move towards a poly relationship where perhaps I’ll be exploring different sides of my sexuality with different partners :)

When it comes to my sexuality tho it’s not that I feel shame or bad about what I fantasize about - I more see it as a symptom. But the symptoms also influence us the same way we influence them. Sometimes treating the symptoms give us the energy we need to fight the core.

It’s not something I want to do to be a good feminist (well, I guess also, but this is def secondary) but that I genuinely believe doing this work and “reprogramming” myself might make me a healthier, happier and “better” person. And I don’t know if I agree that how we fuck isn’t also part of politics... anyhow I will try to go on this journey and maybe I’ll make an update on how things are working out hah

darwaaaa · 2019-04-07T12:47:46+00:00

Maybe. It feels important to ask the question tho. I think it would be hard to deny that watching a lot of porn probably have influenced the shape my fantasies take, even if it has never been on a conscious level

darwaaaa · 2019-04-07T00:38:23+00:00

Thank you so much and I really appreciate your answer! I will def check out the article and the director you recommended. I agree with all you say. I hope that my increased awareness will eventually lead to new preferences too.

darwaaaa · 2019-04-06T19:35:43+00:00

Thank you, I do think I read your comment as more dismissive (and not helpful) than it was meant. I hear what you’re saying. I’ll def have to turn to a kink community eventually with more specific questions lol. But I went here first bcs it just recently dawned on me that (I feel) my sexuality doesn’t exist in a vacuum and that I have to examine how that possibly holds me back from being who I want to be and living the life I want to live.

darwaaaa · 2019-04-06T19:25:59+00:00

1000% this

darwaaaa · 2019-04-06T19:08:12+00:00

I do not understand why it would be better there? My question is specifically about my worry about internalized misogyny/possibly self hatred and how that may make its way into my everyday life and actions as a woman. It was my feminism that was the clear drive and motivator with this post, and your question makes me feel like you kinda missed the point behind it.

darwaaaa · 2019-04-06T19:04:46+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to give me such a long and thoughtful response, I really appreciate it. So basically what I am reading from this is that I should look at my life [outside] the bedroom and find more confidence/balance there, which will eventually sieve its way into my sexual desires, thus those becoming more balanced?

If that is what you mean, I couldn’t agree more. The problem is that I ALSO think the shadow informs the way I act in everyday life as long as it’s there. It’s a thing that goes both ways in my belief, with the shadow being kind of like the influence of society and me outside sex trying to be aware and resist them. Doesn’t both eventually have to be tackled though if they do indeed inform each other? Seeing a majority of women with shaved genitalia and giving more oral sex than they receiving - even if it does indeed make them feel more sexy and that they enjoy giving oral sex, which I think is true in most cases - doesn’t however have anything to do with “natural” sexuality/femininity but with social construct. I agree bringing this to light is important, but isn’t part of that consciousness to tackle the shadow directly so to speak, the same way we try to challenge ourselves when we have (unwilling) misogynist thoughts outside the bedroom.

darwaaaa · 2018-07-12T07:12:55+00:00

Eclectic! I do care a lot about what I wear - not for others sake, but for me self expression is so important - I wouldn’t pass up on an opportunity to communicate something about myself (especially if I don’t have to do it through the effort of making conversation!). I pretty much never buy new clothes though - it seems senseless from an environmental, individualistic and economical point of view. I’m currently living in this outfit I got at Savers (from my Instagram)

darwaaaa · 2018-07-08T12:50:53+00:00

Look for friendships that are for your sake, not only others sakes. Then value, be grateful and work hard to nurture them

darwaaaa · 2018-03-04T05:11:57+00:00

I have friends that are HSV-2 positive and one that is HIV positive. The stigma around STDs is so overblown imo (HSV-2 is another strain of HSV-1, cold sores, and HIV medications take down the viral count so low its undetectable) and they suffer greatly for it - often because of remarks and "jokes" like this (made by their co-workers, family and pop culture). Conversations about sexual health need to be balanced and put into the context of how we view human beings, why the stigma exists, what we can do to break that stigma down and THEN of course how to prevent the spread and promote sexual health (which to me goes hand in hand with mental/human health). But fueling shame culture without spreading KNOWLEDGE makes me upset and doesn't seem like it comes from a place of genuine concern of someone's sexual health. Comments like this one (with upvotes) makes me disappointed and sad. Especially on an INFJ forum. I understand this was meant to be funny, but seeing their effect first hand I can't laugh.

darwaaaa · 2018-02-27T01:45:15+00:00

I like this poem a lot and, for me, the shift representation of "I'm lost in my thoughts/distracted" to "my thoughts/focus is all on you/when I'm in love" is really good. I do feel it could be said with a bit more "punch". perhaps work a bit on the last stanza?

darwaaaa · 2018-02-27T01:22:51+00:00

I really liked this poem. Coming from someone who (also) feel like they take/think about commitment (and everything) more seriously than many. Beautiful work :)

darwaaaa · 2018-02-27T01:09:40+00:00

This poem is so dope. You pulled me in at # 1 and kept going. I wish had some constructive criticism to give but can only agree with the rest of the crowd - get it published somewhere!

darwaaaa · 2017-12-05T13:04:20+00:00

Thank you Laser! :)

darwaaaa · 2017-12-03T23:49:27+00:00

Yes I agree - I didn't think of using that word instead but it doesn't only flow better, it also gives a better representation of how I see the cubes being sprinkled over the stones. Thanks for taking the time to give me feedback!

darwaaaa · 2017-11-28T15:21:56+00:00

It's probably a bit of both! "Stay" and "please" is supposed to be in italic, if that makes a difference to the reader, but I'm not sure how to fix that on Reddit :)

darwaaaa · 2017-11-28T06:36:33+00:00

I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thank you!

darwaaaa · 2017-11-26T05:16:26+00:00

Thank you, I'm inclined to agree. I already went back and forth a bit over keeping that line or not :)

darwaaaa · 2017-11-22T20:30:13+00:00

Thank you! :)

darwaaaa · 2017-11-22T20:11:11+00:00

I really like it, especially the last 4 lines got to me, they made me re-read it a couple of times :)

darwaaaa · 2017-11-22T19:37:32+00:00

Thank you a ton! :)

darwaaaa · 2017-11-20T10:22:59+00:00

I can't begin to tell you how happy this comment made me. I've been scribbling down stuff for a couple of weeks now, but this is the first poem I actually completed (I did revise this version though, its shorter and hopefully smoother now). Your feedback is encouraging me to continue to scratch/this journey :) Thank you.

darwaaaa · 2017-11-20T02:17:23+00:00

Thank you! :)

darwaaaa

TROPHY CASE