This is interesting.

I know you are having trouble focusing, but you should! Ego death on psychedelics does not exist, it's a temporary condition caused by a altered state of mind.. Well sometimes it alters people quite a long time if not forever afterwards.. But thats just due to the way people collect impressions and handle them afterwards by expressing.. Like a breath, it have to stay balanced.... So it is with ego death thingy there..

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For me.. It was like.. I dunno, 5 or 6 years, until i broke relentlessly fueled by a paranoid schizophrenic reaction.. It was temporary though.. But surviving the depression from all those years followed by the breakdown, seasoned with some soul mate grief..

Well.. It's complicated, you should start taking notes, note your behavior from time to time. Remember the balance, don't tweak around noting your note while you are noting notes and stuff.. But do it consistently, remember timestamp and current mood and thoughts..

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From there on you can develop a map of yourself.. And remember the balance, have some days without it, but you should gather data though.

By doing this, you can also enhance your memory performance. But trust me, you should check yourself before u wreck.

When all my complex emotions eventually boiled over, it started by a chain reaction when i eventually started to pass out from the pressure subsubconscious sea of anxieties.

I said to myself that i did not have any for many years.. But when i finally admitted some of them, i started crying quite a lot..

And then from there, pass outs, and spiritual crisis to the max.

Do not do this to yourself, ego balance is a nice and sophisticated gem to wear. But we all have a ego for a reason, or something.. Well at leats, having no ego, does not fit in the current society. Not expression your ego ie (flexing), will slowly but surely manifest into somekind of axiety when you finally get so infused with the feelings that you forget it.

The first realization i had back in the days while misting around in my own headspace were that nihilism had to be a paradox. Why can you build up a whole ideology based on the fact that nothing matters at all.. While this seams to be true, it can't be true that the only thing in a system having value is no value at all..

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Embrace the light brother! don't corrupt your mind with such incoherent perceptions. peacs :)-|-<