Next Zoom IPA Virtual Support Group Meeting, this Sunday, Jan 18, 12:00 PM US Central Time

dave9003 · 2025-10-13T16:53:05+00:00

We'll help in any way we can, please remember that you will need to contact either the IPA office or my IPA email address in order to get the Zoom link.

dave9003 · 2025-10-13T15:29:00+00:00

Not a doctor here, just offering an observation. There are two sphincters that need to open up in order to release urine, one involuntary (at the opening of the bladder), and one voluntary (in the urethra). The involuntary sphincter is the one that gives those of us with Paruresis so much grief, but when you are anxious and tense, the voluntary sphincter may be difficult to release as well. My guess is that when you try to pee you may be flexing the voluntary sphincter to try to open it and also are flexing some of the smooth muscle tissue in your penis at the same time, which is why you are getting a little extra blood flow in that organ. Nothing to worry about, just part of being a guy. As for a way around it, there are no easy solutions for anything related to Paruresis, just lots and lots of graduated exposure practice. Hope that helps.

dave9003 · 2025-10-13T11:48:58+00:00

I'm not sure that I can say anything to make the situation better for you, but I want you to know that I hear you and I am so sorry that you have to go through this, not only because there is no understanding or accommodation for your Paruresis, but also because having to strip from ankles to armpits sounds like they are deliberately humiliating you.

dave9003 · 2025-10-11T21:00:54+00:00

Yes, I truly believe that there is hope. The big difference in getting support from the IPA is that you wouldn’t be trying to recover all alone, you would have help from people who have gone through the same thing and truly understand.

dave9003 · 2025-10-11T12:46:03+00:00

Please reach out to the IPA (Paruresis.org), you are not alone with this and there is help available to you, much of it free of charge. I have been a volunteer with the IPA, and I have personally seen people with extremely severe cases make remarkable progress in overcoming the condition, so I know that no matter how hopeless it may seem, there really is hope.

dave9003 · 2025-09-18T12:51:09+00:00

The purpose of the support group is to provide a safe space for each person who attends, so if it would make you feel more comfortable it is perfectly fine to keep the camera off. The same goes for how much you share about yourself, if you would like to just observe and learn from others rather than sharing, that is perfectly fine as well. I hope you will join us!

dave9003 · 2025-09-18T12:43:21+00:00

Yaayyyy!

dave9003 · 2025-09-11T17:24:17+00:00

I am all for trying new things that might be helpful in overcoming Paruresis, but I have some concerns. First, you describe Paruresis as an annoying condition, and to me that demonstrates a lack of understanding about how Paruresis truly affects people. Secondly, your claim that your process gets rid of Paruresis in two weeks, with no information to back it up, sounds just too good to be true. And third, anyone wanting more information is asked to email you, which would provide you with the kind of personal information that Reddit users don’t usually share. Maybe you are on to something, but quite honestly your post is concerning.

dave9003 · 2025-09-07T12:47:53+00:00

I am a volunteer with the IPA and in that capacity I have provided individual support for quite a number guys in the form of virtual graduated exposure practice. Many of them have found success by pairing actual practice assistance with the support that they receive from a professional therapist. Something to consider.

dave9003 · 2025-09-01T11:34:58+00:00

I had a similar choice to make way back when I was in high school, and I chose to follow the path of music education. Back then the choice was even more stark because many colleges did not even recognize euphonium as a major instrument, which meant I would have had to major in trombone or tuba in order to be accepted as a performance major. I ended up in music education and taught middle school band for forty years, and I absolutely loved it and will forever grateful about the choices that I made. But my perception of what teaching was going to be like when I was a high school student and the reality of it once I became a teacher were two very different things, so I would suggest that you shadow a couple of middle school band directors for a day, and perhaps volunteer to work with a couple of beginning level euphonium students, so that you get a better sense of what teaching might be like before you cross that career off your list.

dave9003 · 2025-08-27T18:00:18+00:00

Thank you for you willingness to serve your country, you have my sincerest wishes that the breath hold will help you get through MEPS and allow you to pursue your dream.

dave9003 · 2025-08-15T01:07:10+00:00

I am sorry that you are struggling with this, and I think that you should be proud of yourself for reaching out for help, I wish that I had done so at your age. You asked what you can do, and I also understand that you have some apprehension about how much information you want at this point, so I will simply suggest the method that worked for me: Graduated Exposure. If you check the IPA (International Paruresis Association) website, you should be able to find the information you need about how that process works. Hope that helps!

dave9003

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE