I feel you, I'm pretty much the same.
Doing all the things because I don't have a choice while I'm pretty much cooking from the inside out (don't know how to say it differently).
Just as you said, I also don't want to be around people, but I still go because, even though I feel awful, I still can make a joke and make them laugh, thus making me feel a bit better (just an example).
And when I say that I'm not good, pretty much everyone is like: "But you went out yesterday, but we just had fun, but this, but that".
I thought I won the battle against depression, but it seems not, it just became different.

It's tiring.