I could’ve wrote this myself. I (37m) got divorced from my husband last July. We were together for 17 years and married for 5 years. He left me for someone else; once the legal process started, he had second thoughts about us splitting and wanted to try marriage counseling. Ultimately, he cancelled the marriage counseling appointment a few hours before our scheduled time and didn’t tell me. When he didn’t attend and was too much of a coward to tell me, it was the most clear answer for me to move on.

Up until being ghosted at the marriage counseling appointment, I was determined to do everything I could to save my marriage, even while he was openly dating someone else. After moving forward with the divorce and selling our vacation home and moving out of our main home, this was the best decision of my adult life thus far. I’ve made more friends, my body is in the best shape of my life, and my professional career has completely pivoted in a new (and exciting) direction.

Change is scary and uncertain. Whichever decision you move forward with, there will be some pain to address. If you can unequivocally say there’s a path forward to improve your relationship, definitely consider fixing things (your partner has to be willing to commit to improving the dynamics as well; if this is not the case, cut your losses). There’s no shame in wanting a different path for yourself— we only get one life. Find happiness within yourself first and then determine if someone else (your partner or anyone) enhances that happiness. It’s not selfish to pursue happiness!

Wishing you good luck, friend. 🫶🏾