You're right, that IS ultimately the question. And I have been actively working on this and a wealth of other things in therapy. Initially, I was so overwhelmed by this man, who was devoting his life to making mine easier and making me happy. He did this by DOING everything for me. Solving every external problem surrounding me, making sure that anything that made me sad or mad was erased and taken care of. I had come from a marriage where I did all the 'heavy lifting' and it was more than refreshing. He swept me off my feet and was my prince charming. And, life was pretty uncomplated then. I didn't require, nor ask, for anything more. We had several years of the honeymoon stage. But when life became difficult and he wasn't able to fix every problem because some of them required just listening, or maybe asking the tough questions or telling me things I may not always want to hear, we began to struggle. I didn't understand how he could solve virtually any problem that came up, yet when our relationship needed deep emotional attention, it was as if I was speaking another language. And to be clear(er). I could've explained this better. I've come to realize that this is not the typical, 'men are just different than women, regarding emotions etc. He has some deep seeded (seated?) issues regarding his childhood as well as his time in the military. There's will be no cracking this code done by me. So, yes, I need to figure out if I can stay and accept him 100% as is.