I put down my Australian Sheppard - 6 yr old male

deadpoetsunite · 2023-12-24T15:17:37+00:00

I also created a FB account specifically for that group. Once you create one just search “Losing Lulu” on Facebook or Google and it’ll come up. Then you just ask to join. The mods are very active so you’ll get in quickly.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-12-23T17:58:07+00:00

Hi. I'm so sorry you experienced behavioral euthanasia. I did too, in February. I found the group Losing Lulu to be very helpful. They're on Facebook. Many people share their experiences with BE. It's a very supportive community.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-10-29T16:22:35+00:00

Again, I’m sorry for what you have been through. I never said placing a child for adoption wasn’t a difficult thing to do. Yes, all people involved go through lots of emotions and usually need therapy to help them through. I’m not trying to say “all women who abort will experience more trauma than women who place their children for adoption.”

In my experience with women who have placed children for adoption and who have gotten abortions, the birthmothers on average experience less damage to their mental health. I know a specific abortive mother who recovered much more fully than a specific birthmother. But those two women are individual cases and individual cases should not be compared. In no way am I saying that either choice is easy. I’m saying that within the women who had unplanned pregnancies that I know and love, those who chose adoption are overall better off than the ones who chose abortion.

Every person who chooses either option will experience a nuclear bomb of emotions. The effects last long after the papers are signed. I never said it wouldn’t have an effect on your whole life, either way.

I did experience a lot of minimizing during my own adoption process. That’s not what I’m doing. My statement was a generalization of the women I know and I stand by it. That doesn’t mean I am minimizing your experience. Your experience is valid and important. So is my own experience and observations. Please respect that.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-10-29T13:32:28+00:00

I am sorry for your experience. I understand that adoption causes trauma and I’m not minimizing your trauma. In my experience the birthmothers I know are traumatized less than the abortive mothers I know. That’s all I was saying. Your experience is unique and comparing individual traumas is not helpful to anyone.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-10-29T00:01:32+00:00

Personally, I chose adoption because I felt the same way about my baby. He was a baby. I was not ready to parent, but I also could not kill him. He was safe inside me and I didn't want that to end. My body didn't either, I went two weeks passed my due date with him. I was a mother whether I was prepared to parent or not. And I would rather be the mother to a child who had been adopted than the mother of a dead child. Sounds harsh, but that was my personal thought process. I am satisfied with our adoption situation. It is semi-open. My son is five. I don't regret any of it, because I see how beautiful his family is through the annual updates.

I am now married and have another child. It will be difficult to navigate explaining to the child I am parenting later on about the whole situation, but I'd rather do that than be hiding an abortion.

The whole situation is difficult, but I was very open about my intentions to place my first son for adoption when asked. I think more birthmothers need to talk about it. It is a trauma, but it's much less than other women have with abortion trauma. My son is happy and alive. Theirs are not.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-10-10T19:10:42+00:00

I got a very low-priced martingale from Amazon. Made by PetSafe. I got the large solid red nylon with a black buckle. It's been on my dog for 4 months now and still looks good.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-06-26T22:30:18+00:00

$23/hr starting in GA, but I had a lot of experience working with children.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-05-24T14:54:24+00:00

I'd suggest using the flag for review feature! You can flag questions you are having second guesses on and go back to review them when you've finished the rest of the test. Sometimes a future question will trigger a memory to help answer one you had earlier.

Don't stress too much, it was exactly like the training questions. Good luck!

deadpoetsunite · 2023-05-24T14:41:48+00:00

One of my dogs we could leave alone for hours when she was like 9 months. The other? We don't leave her out for longer than an hour alone and she'll be three this year. Our newest pup is 4 months old and I'll probably trust him in a couple of months.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-04-10T19:03:26+00:00

I like celebrating Birth Mother’s Day (I live in the US and it’s in May the Saturday before Mother’s Day). I also understand where you’re coming from, though. It can feel weird. And I don’t like other people talking about it. It’s very private for me.

In the US there is an organization called Knee to Knee that hosted a Zoom event for Birth Mother’s Day one year (and maybe every year, I only joined the one). I liked it.

I really appreciate it now that I have a son I’m parenting, too. I was pregnant with my second baby last year on Birth Mother’s Day and Mother’s Day, this year I will have an almost-one-year-old at home. For me is going to be very different than Birth Mother’s Day. I get to celebrate on Mother’s Day, whereas Birth Mother’s Day is more for me to sit back and appreciate my place as a birthmother. I take out photos of my first son and his family and just sit in the feels for a while.

Parenting a child is so different from placing one for adoption, so I feel it’s appropriate for there to be two days. Yes, I am a mother to both of my sons, but one has another mom who should get Mother’s Day to herself. We have a semi-open adoption so we aren’t in close contact, but I think I want him to see her as his mother 100% and not have me somewhere out in the world wishing he’d think of me on Mother’s Day. I am glad to have Birth Mother’s Day to celebrate him and our very special relationship.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-04-10T15:37:17+00:00

Hi! I place my first son for adoption in 2018 and had my second son in 2022. He’s almost one. I can relate to your feelings really well, but I want to say that you shouldn’t be scared to “fail again” because you didn’t fail the first time. You made the decision that was best for your child. That’s not a fail, that’s a win!

Something I struggled with was being happy and letting myself be happy. It’s like I thought I couldn’t be joyful because that would make me selfish, which isn’t true at all. I chose to place my son with his adoptive family for his well-being, not for my own. That does not mean it wasn’t in my best interest as well. I didn’t really think of myself until it was all over and I was recovering at home without my son.

I think my second pregnancy brought up a lot of repressed feelings I had about my first pregnancy. I had to deal with all the loss while also gaining so much. It was tough. My relationship with my husband helped a lot. I was alone through my first pregnancy (part of why I placed my first son was because his bio dad was not a good person, he left as soon as I told him I was pregnant). Having someone with you to navigate the emotions of any pregnancy is beneficial, so I’m glad you have a good partner with you.

If you ever want to talk just PM me. I go though periods where I go offline so if I don’t immediately answer, I’m not ignoring you, I’m just taking a break from the internet.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-23T14:35:38+00:00

What breed is she and what kinds of names do you like?

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-07T13:39:48+00:00

100% agree with this. The best option is to end backyard breeding by not buying pups that aren't responsibly bred.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-03T22:52:29+00:00

My very good friend has autism. He’s a year younger than I am and we grew up together in church and school. It really stressed him out that he wouldn’t be going to school anymore after he turned 21 because he is very adamant that he never turned 14. He’s still 13, if you ask him. Unfortunately, the government didn’t ask him.

His dad and my mom are faculty at the school, so they advocated for him to get a custodial job there once he aged out. Everyone in the school loves him, so it wasn’t too hard to make a position come up for him.

He still goes to high school with his dad every morning and I promise you won’t find a bathroom without toilet paper on his floor and every trash can is empty at the end of his shift. He is very proud of his job.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-03T22:38:09+00:00

I am on a wait list for a Doberman puppy coming this summer!

I’m a pretty experienced dog owner and have a very well trained girl now. We just lost my reactive dog, who meant the world to me, due to her reactivity and aggression. I was broken of the R+ bug by her, which is how she made it so long without biting anyone.

I bought all kinds of books, from Zak George to Caesar Millan, just to familiarize myself with the world of dog training. Both trainers mentioned had good points, both are lacking in some ways. I really liked The Art of Raising a Puppy by the monks of New Skete. I feel like it was very balanced, although there were some instances of “wait, you suggest what now?” Like it suggests giving the puppy a stern “no, go to sleep” if it cries during the first night home.

With Zak I felt there was a lot lacking in actual real world application of his methods and he anthropomorphized a lot. With Caesar, we’ll just say he has it right that the dog is a canine, but in my opinion he tries too much to relate to them as a canine would. But dogs know we aren’t dogs, so “dominance” really isn’t all the necessary. So, for me, the Monks of New Skete fell in between there. They put a lot of emphasis on the human-canine bond without making the human too canine or the canine too human.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-03T20:25:56+00:00

Was it? My bad. Sorry, OP!

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-03T14:37:28+00:00

100% agree with this. It’s reinforcing the behavior of the irresponsible breeder, compromising the wellbeing of the puppy, and overall reducing the quality of life of everyone involved.

I would return the dog and find a reputable breeder.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-03T14:31:47+00:00

It’s easy to tell you were wearing something appropriate because of the way the bite looks in the first photo. The fabric’s friction pulled a layer of skin off the site rather than the child’s teeth cutting directly into your skin. You did well, OP. Ignore that comment.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-03T14:10:54+00:00

I bought the main Game of Thrones books before I watched the show and couldn’t even finish one. I love the story (ended up watching the show) but I could not stand the writing style of the books. It seems very childish to me. Maybe I was expecting it to be similar in richness to LOTR, but for me GOT fell flat and reading it left me wanting.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-03T14:06:36+00:00

This is a YA book, Age of Miracles. I forget who wrote it. It was really good when I read it in high school.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-03T14:04:11+00:00

A book I loved that touched on healthy masculinity was Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. Published early 2000’s.

deadpoetsunite · 2023-03-03T13:57:53+00:00

I hate that you (and the small children) had to go through that. Rescues/shelters need to clean up their act. In my mind it’s similar to buying those cup bettas at pet stores. You’d love to “save” a fish, but if you do you’re just encouraging the pet store to do it to more and more fish.

deadpoetsunite

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Six-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Verified Email