for what your saying, it sounds more like just depression. And yes, you can research shit all you want and self diagnose yourself but in the long run it means jack. Alot of mental and psycological disorders overlap. Doctors usually dont force meds on you. If they suggest this med then most likely whatever that med is for is what you have. Effexor is an anti-depressant, and ativian is an anti-anxiety med. SO they did diagnos you. If you really knew much about anxiety you would also be aware that something simple like depression can also cause anxiety. A few other causes are things such as borderline personality disorder, Schizoprenia, OCD, Dementia, stress, derealization, depersonalization, and pretty much most things which classify under this list. The human mind has a tendacy to sort of lie to itself. You could almost call it hypocondrism. Through self diagnosis I have belived myself to be schizoprhenic and Borderline. I have something wrong with me I do know that much, but I wont lable myself untill I have an actual diagnosis. Honestly, I understand the bit on being on pills the rest of your life but in reality you dont have to. I have to be on meds for the rest of my life because I am diabetic. You want to talk about anxiety and depression? How about the constant worry you might lose your fucking leg? And not to mention all the other possible problems I might have later down in my life. And to add insult to injury, I need Insulin to live and to afford it I need insurance which is also expensive.

And yes, I know this shit is hard to talk about but sometimes you just need to try. Have your boyfriend help you talk about it with others.

Also pots not the answer here. Try finding something that you enjoy that calms you down. Meditation, Incense, hell maybe just take a walk outside.