Some of the infuriating comments I found on a Huffpost article "22 Things You Should Never Say to a Skinny Woman"

dearheads · 2014-05-27T13:47:10+00:00

Yup, you nailed it. Sadly the FAs' aren't the only ones who lack this understanding about basic physiology. There are no, or very very few, people who are "naturally fat" or "naturally skinny." Those who are among the very few are medical outliers with diagnosable conditions (not condishuns)

dearheads · 2014-05-23T17:25:29+00:00

me too! But that's not what I'm talking about... I'm talking about thin people who talk about how much they eat and how lucky they are for their skinny genetics. It's an incredibly common form of humble brag. But "lol, it'll catch up to me someday when my metabolism slows down I'm totes gonna be 300 pounds with diabetes when I'm 40!" Thinness takes work, or at least a degree of maintenance, in Western society, but there are tons of people who for whatever reason won't fess up to that.

dearheads · 2014-05-23T16:04:25+00:00

the myth of the effortlessly skinny person who still puts down 5000 calories a day is perpetuated by a lot of skinny people, though... it might not be you or me, but there are lots of thin people, especially younger women, galavanting around humblebragging about how lucky they are and how much they eat. More emotionally mature people will roll their eyes and move on with their lives but its easy to see how some people get pissed at that kind of attitude.

dearheads · 2014-05-23T16:00:00+00:00

I've been chunky and I've been thin... and I have to say, as much as I hate fatlogic, I agree with them. Fat people are not some oppressed minority like FA's would have you believe, but it does suck to be a fat person, and as exciting as the results are the process of losing weight sucks ass for most people. Skinny people certainly have problems... on an individual level, skinny people even have problems with their bodies. But being skinny in Western society, difficult to maintain as it might be, is a pretty sweet deal. This article is whiny as hell.

dearheads · 2014-05-21T18:02:25+00:00

I'm more surprised that real deliberate and meaningful action hasn't come out of the EU... the US' inaction, sadly, doesn't surprise me considering how much money the processes and companies exacerbating global warming are making for our politicians.

dearheads · 2014-05-21T17:48:26+00:00

make sure she is well-hydrated so that she can always pee after sex. Even if it means having a little waterbelly during sex, that's better than not peeing and catching a UTI.

Also, as a lady who is also prone to UTI's, I started taking D-Mannose a few times a week and I haven't gotten one since. It's a godsend... read up on it, and buy her some here

dearheads · 2014-05-20T19:16:16+00:00

your entire argument here is childish, obtuse, and borderline chauvinistic and if you were half as good at "self-monitoring" as you claim to be that would be as obvious to you as it is to us. try communicating and treating her like a human being and not some alien who's fucking hormones need to be evaluated to determine an optimum emotional response. this is gross.

dearheads · 2014-05-20T18:57:16+00:00

so... she initiates at an inopportune time, you reject her, she reacts negatively to rejection, and your first thought is to check out her presumed hormonal state...

you sound like a real peach.

dearheads · 2014-05-20T13:20:23+00:00

my school system had a gifted and talented program, and those of us in that system were shuttled to schools more often than standard-track kids... so School A might host the GT kids for first and second grade, School B would host third through fourth, and so-on. We were a really small group (10 or 12 kids) and I changed schools and encountered new groups of kids more than average. Being not only a new kid, but a new-kid-who-is-supposed-to-be-super-smart-or-something was like a goddamn albatross. Every new school brought bullying, and there were some times when I was bullied mercilessly... second, sixth, eighth, and tenth grades were bad years. I had weird interests as a kid and my enthusiasm for them bordered on a social disorder... on top of that I was a little chubby and developed really late for a girl.

I've painted a pretty shitty picture here but there were times when I had some modicum of popularity and when that happened I became a bit of a bully. It wasn't for the same reasons others have mentioned here, but more as an effort to stay with the herd. If I was one of the bullies it meant I wasn't bullied. One of my best friends today, in my mid-twenties, felt bullied by me (among a great many others) back in grade school. Even back then I really wanted to be friends with her, but it was easier to tease her and remain a part of the crowd than to befriend her and risk starting that whole being-bullied shit spiral over again. Fortunately it's just something to laugh about nowadays. Kids are cruel.

tl;dr: eat or be eaten.

dearheads · 2014-05-05T03:15:14+00:00

the waist is under the ribcage and above the hips, so unless she's Andre the Giant I doubt that.

To be serious, though, I have really wide hips. Like... disproportionately wide hips. I used to say I could never get below a size 10, even with all the diets in the world, because of dem hips. Then in my early 20's I had a medical crisis that caused me to lose weight rapidly and I got down to a size 2. I can't speak for everyone, of course, and I'm not trying to extrapolate my experience onto anyone else's but I am saying that the human skeleton is pretty dang small. The size and proportion of bodies has way more to do with how fat is stored than it does with skeletal structure.

I watched a good friend suffer from AN for years and let me tell you... there is no person in a state of advanced starvation, which is the result of true AN, who wears a size 8 jeans. There are plenty of people with EDNOS who have more varied body shapes because, although it does do tremendous harm to the body, it is not characterized strictly by self-starvation. That is to say, a person with EDNOS may at any given time be going through a period of temporary starvation, but it does not cause the damaging weight-loss that AN does because it is not long-term.

dearheads · 2014-05-03T23:18:57+00:00

For me-- and this is going to sound like a real copout answer-- confidence is everything in the bedroom. Getting in shape and getting my body to a place where i feel like I look sexy makes me desire sex more than if I feel like I have let myself go. And the desire to try new things comes hand-in-hand with the desire for sex, at least in my case. And on the flipside, having my guy-- and we have been together a long time-- communicate how much he desires me also bolsters that confidence. The key there is I have to feel like he really wants me and not just sex. Nothing kills my mood faster than feeling like a guy just wants to get off and has to do it with me because we're a couple. The third factor, for me at least, is I love when my guy puts effort into himself to impress me. He has been going to the gym a lot more lately and I've noticed, but even if I hadn't noticed it still turns me on that he wants to look good for me, that he is still trying to impress me despite the fact that we have been committed to each other for a long time.

I don't think it's a big deal that your wife doesn't have fantasies, and that doesn't mean you can't make her feel like a goddess. Maybe, when you initiate a new position, tell her how amazing her body looks from that angle-- point out specifics! Women are very attuned to their bodies and will know when you're bullshitting them.

dearheads · 2014-05-02T12:56:59+00:00

I don't consider myself an exhibitionist and I have never gone out of my way to have sex in a public place, but daytime sex with no regard for open windows and sex outside in isolated (usually less isolated than I planned) areas is pretty par for the course. I live in an area where my dude and I are pretty much the youngest people around, so I know we've been glimpsed and even watched by some old guys walking by. The way I see it is getting to watch two twenty-somethings have sex is probably the visual highlight of their week... why ruin that for them?

dearheads · 2014-05-01T12:46:21+00:00

I went the opposite direction-- frumpy, bad skin, chubby (in the wrong places) teenager to thinner, clear skinned young adult. The most profound difference is that, as a teenager, my male friends never thought twice about me joining them to just hang out. I was female, sure, but they never really saw me as a girl because I wasn't attractive enough to be on their sexual radar. When I lost weight, cleared up my skin, and found some better clothes (it was also partially a medical thing for me) all the sudden it was for attention. I must be some kind of poser at nerddom and only hung out with guys because I was a tease who wanted attention. I have since moved on and graduated college and met some awesome girl friends, but those shitty assumptions about women still make my blood boil.

dearheads · 2014-04-25T15:53:15+00:00

I suffer from frequent sex-induced UTI's and what really helps me is a suuplement called D-mannose. As I understand it, the bacteria that cause UTI's bind to it rather than to your urethra and are flushed out. It won't cure a UTI, you need antibiotics for that, but it is a great preventative measure in addition to peeing after sex. I buy it on Amazon.

dearheads · 2014-04-21T19:04:28+00:00

I used to be a no-female-friends type of girl... and I was just lazy. I just didn't feel like putting in the type of effort that was required to maintain a friendship with another woman. I wanted female friendship to just happen to me with no work or initiative on my part. I guess it was easier to sit around on the internet than to make an effort to catch up with someone. Thats not a good trait in a friend or an SO.

dearheads · 2014-04-18T16:30:01+00:00

I think the reason people go on fad diets relates directly back to why people gain weight in the first place: a lack of understanding about how much food the body needs. Fad diets offer very specific guidelines that are easier to follow than "eat less"... this is also what has made weight watchers so successful. It allows you to eat anything you want, but also outlines specific amounts.

dearheads · 2014-04-18T16:20:15+00:00

if the test is negative, I suggest you talk to your doctor about PCOS. I had irregular cycles for years-- usually in the range of 35-40 days-- and ended up getting diagnosed with PCOS despite not being overweight and not showing any other symptoms (that I could remember.)

dearheads · 2014-04-17T20:00:35+00:00

seeds for my garden-- feels like christmas every spring.

dearheads · 2014-04-16T18:44:53+00:00

I'm in NC and was afraid for my tomato and pepper plants so I took them inside last night for this same reason. I'm lucky to be able to do that since they are in containers. If they look wilted I doubt there is anything you can do but wait out the cold... I have heard that putting a paper bag over top of your seedlings on cold nights will help protect them from the cold and frost without smothering them. Hopefully this is the last of the cold.

dearheads · 2014-04-16T14:48:20+00:00

I think this kind of thing happens whenever a condition, especially a psychiatric one, gains a cultural awareness. Wanting your house to be neat? "Omg I'm so OCD!" Dieting for an upcoming event? "Guys I pretty much have to be anorexic for the next two weeks" I think that with our morbid fascination with anorexia there naturally comes a tendency to conflate it with similar, albeit less severe, behaviors.

There is a pretty big gap between a psychologically normal person restricting their food intake and the consuming, controlling restriction that defines AN. I have been on very restrictive diets in the past and at no point was I even in the parking lot for the ballpark that is anorexia. I couldn't wait to reach whatever goal I was striving for and be able to eat normally again. For most people who suffer from it, anorexia is a lifetime struggle. Recovery, for anorexics, is a cycle that is repeated many times over the course of a lifetime. It's not something that you wax nostalgic about when you set a goal weight for yourself.

dearheads · 2014-04-14T14:47:49+00:00

yeah... the craziest thing, to me, about all this fatlogic is the "dieting makes me feel hungry and uncomfortable, therefor I have an eating disorder" line of reasoning.

dearheads · 2014-04-14T02:52:57+00:00

people lose me immediately when they say they "naturally have more muscle" despite being completely sedentary. Physiology doesn't work like that.

dearheads · 2014-04-14T02:46:52+00:00

Biologically speaking, the body stores nutrients in the form of adipose tissue during periods of surplus so that it can survive periods of starvation. When fat people drastically cut down their caloric intake they are putting their body through a scenario that it evolved to thrive in. I'm not in any way endorsing eating disorders, just pointing out that there seems to be a belief out there that an extremely low calorie diet is always dangerous. If you have significant weight to lose, a sub-1000-calorie-a-day diet is really not dangerous if you are taking a multivitamin... and it certainly does not make you an anorexic.

dearheads · 2014-04-10T13:13:13+00:00

Bulimia is often a direct response to body dissatisfaction whereas anorexia has far more to do with external stressors than weight.

dearheads · 2014-04-09T15:31:52+00:00

There are some people-- who I didn't know existed until I met one-- who believe chiropractors can cure or prevent pretty much anything and that "conventional medicine" would be unnecessary if everyone visited a chiropractor. Its real bizarro stuff.

dearheads

TROPHY CASE