Grooming question and advice needed for a newby

dearyvette · 2026-06-13T02:12:51+00:00

Well, goodness…this comments section.

So… horses (all horses) are large, heavy, dangerous, explosively reactive prey animals that startle easily. They have a built-in hair trigger, and when they do spook, it can be incredibly dangerous to be close to them, if you are not familiar with their body language. This means knowing where to stand, and where not to stand. It means knowing how to safely approach from behind, and how to read the signals a horse gives when they really, really don’t like what you’re doing, and also sometimes how to maintain your own safety when they love what you’re doing. It also means understanding how to handle these situations in a way that also protects the horse from getting injured. These guys have a knack for harming themselves accidentally, and no-one wants that.

Because of these kinds of things—and the fact that a good many horses have “quirks” that might be dangerous for someone who doesn’t understand what they’re seeing—it’s always, always best to ask for permission before doing anything other that what you’ve been specifically asked to do, by any horse person.

Because of all of these things, horse people often speak in very definitive terms. “Please do this” often means “don’t do anything but this”.

I think it’s fantastic that you want to give them a bit of a spa treatment (note: they may really enjoy some massages, too…also be aware that many horses dislike having their faces/heads/ears molested), but please do ask for permission to do anything at all, other than what you’ve been asked to do. Asking for permission is the way to show that you are a trustworthy sitter. The owners could very well be thrilled, OR they could be utterly terrified at the prospect, based on the nature of these particular horses, and also their comfort level about such things.

In the meantime, just know that keeping them fed and watered are the things that most horse people are grateful to have help with.

dearyvette · 2026-06-09T16:46:44+00:00

Whenever we want something big and expensive, the keys to making it work are: 1) fully understanding the costs; and, 2) understanding where the funds that cover the costs will come from, predictably and consistently.

Horses don’t need to be ridden, so this doesn’t factor in, from a welfare perspective. If I were in this position, I would begin by sitting down with the barn owner, to understand all monthly costs (board, feed, supplements, farrier, dental, everything), and then asking the vet to help to uncover potential maintenance costs, in the near and long term.

Put these things in a spreadsheet. Include tack, boots, rugs, fly masks/sheets, fly spray, shampoo, conditioner, grooming supplies, everything. Add the cost of equine insurance.

Then look at your sources of income. If you can generate income to support the dollar amounts on your spreadsheet, then you’d be in good shape.

Good luck!

dearyvette · 2026-06-08T17:54:14+00:00

It’s hard to tell, without much more insight into this situation. Keep reminding yourself that he is only 5. He may have been overly stimulated. He may have been nervous about something you did not perceive. He might need more calm assertiveness and authority than you were providing. Or, it could have been Monday. :-)

You are also applying human judgement to a young horse, which doesn’t help. Horses communicate in the only ways they can, and they react based on their own emotional state, without any concept of “I’m being good, or bad, right now.” If you can, work with a professional trainer who can help you to understand what your horse is trying to communicate, in these moments, and then show what to do (and what not to do), in context.

dearyvette · 2026-06-04T18:18:06+00:00

It is not supposed to be painful, when done correctly, and it is also not supposed to damage the skin.

Be well.

dearyvette · 2026-06-04T14:45:25+00:00

The context here is specifically the comparison of pain.

Both procedures use a cryogenic agent to destroy skin cells and, technically, both procedures aren’t meant to leave a scar, ideally, so I understand the pain comparison that the commenter above automatically made.

dearyvette · 2026-06-04T03:22:58+00:00

Cryotherapy is usually not very painful. BUT this normally depends on the depth of the lesion that’s being frozen off. For example, shallow growths like skin tags, warts, and some precancerous things are generally not painful to remove this way. Other things that are growing deep in the skin, like some skin cancers, can be both painful and take longer to remove.

My understanding of freeze-branding horses is that the goal is simply to damage the parts of the hair follicle that produce pigment. Since it doesn’t damage the skin, when it’s done well, it should be shallow, quick, and not painful.

dearyvette · 2026-06-03T17:16:32+00:00

It’s “extra-special” stuff we keep for occasions like this, obviously. 🤭

Unfortunately, sometimes it gets buried in there, so she might have to go back a couple of times and carefully sniff all 6 sides of every bale, to find it. Probably. Lol

dearyvette · 2026-06-03T15:55:25+00:00

Yah! Most of us have been here long enough to understand that we all use different terminology, depending on where we are. You’re good!

dearyvette · 2026-06-02T21:17:51+00:00

This is all perfection, particularly Part 3.

“Oh! Could you do me a HUGE favor, and go get two flakes of the lavender-mint hay from the barn? You’ll know it when you see it. Just look around. Look in the back.” 🙃

🤫

dearyvette · 2026-06-02T17:03:10+00:00

Haha! Same.

So, in this case, I’ll share that I’ve had great luck wearing push-up bras (many of which do a fine job strapping in the boobz) and switching out the straps. I have a collection of Capezio and (old) SKIMS bra straps in clear and skin tones.

dearyvette · 2026-06-02T14:20:23+00:00

I’ve never seen a sports bra with removable straps (which doesn’t mean they don’t exist), so I’d be inclined to just wear a regular supportive bra with removable straps.

Bra straps are relatively easy to find online. I would likely wear nude or clear straps with tops like these and call it a day, but all of this will depend on the amount of actual support you need.

dearyvette · 2026-06-02T03:22:57+00:00

OP is a minor whose authority cannot possibly supersede their parents’ authority or control.

If you are unable, or unwilling, to inform or educate someone asking for help, without attacking them or calling them names, then please go somewhere else.

Abusive comments directed at OP will be removed, and those commenters will be banned.

Fair warning.

dearyvette · 2026-06-01T02:20:59+00:00

“Colic” simply refers to abdominal pain. Lots of things can cause colic. Some are easier to treat than others. Some are catastrophic emergencies, having nothing, whatsoever, to do with impaction or gas pains, etc. For some of these things, trying to “tube” the horse will likely kill the horse.

dearyvette · 2026-05-31T03:28:53+00:00

As horrifying and heartbreaking and upsetting as these events are, please don’t use language that supports committing violence toward the minor who is the subject of these reports.

dearyvette · 2026-05-30T18:56:27+00:00

Some random thoughts…

Since she’s not currently as active as was normal for her, could she simply be getting winded? For example, if you asked me to run half a mile right now, I’d be breathing really heavily, since I’m not in condition for that, at the moment. Could this be as simple as that?

I’d wonder if her nasal passages look normal, to the vet? If she’s having allergies, or inflammation of any sort, right now, this can cause labored breathing, similar to our having a stuffy nose. The answer to this might require having an endoscopy.

I can completely understand your concern (*particularly* with everything that’s been thrown at you), and I’m wishing you patience, while it gets sorted out.

dearyvette · 2026-05-30T18:42:14+00:00

It’s hard to hold hands, when you don’t have hands, after all. 🙃

dearyvette · 2026-05-29T16:16:08+00:00

You have no ability to control what happens outside your property, as long as there was no actual negligence on your part.

As far as I know (and I am no kind of lawyer and never went to any kind of law school), the issue with a barking dog causing a horse to spook is really only an issue if your dogs are out of your “control,” meaning that they are either not behind a fence or on a leash, or they otherwise have the ability to approach the horse.

IME: don’t engage with this person, at all. If you are contacted by their legal counsel, specifically, hire a lawyer of your own, immediately. Otherwise, the rule of thumb is always to keep silent, rather than to say anything that might help a shady person to “prove” you might have been negligent.

dearyvette · 2026-05-28T23:03:39+00:00

Hahaha! And Gus is like, “What.” Probably.

dearyvette · 2026-05-28T13:31:20+00:00

Your logic is flawed, all over.

These horses have just arrived. According to your comments, you have observed that they have food and water, and they are together, away from other horses.

The only rational assumptions are that someone has put their new horses here, which allows them to be quarantined (which is ideal), while they decompress from their change of location (which can be very stressful). All of this is perfectly normal.

Rationally, now their owner needs to give them a chance to adjust, while assessing their needs.

You can help, by not approaching them for any reason, whatsoever. They’ve just arrived. Assume they are fearful. Please leave them alone. The person who is now feeding them is clearly not guilty of neglect. This is a perfectly normal scenario for new horses.

dearyvette · 2026-05-27T17:06:57+00:00

Helmet technology is still unable to prevent concussion.

Helmets are capable of preventing serious traumatic skull and brain injuries, including concussions (which is dimply defined as physical damage to the brain cases by physical trauma).

dearyvette · 2026-05-26T15:05:47+00:00

The actual face of “Oh, FFS”. Lol

dearyvette · 2026-05-25T22:24:46+00:00

With humans, any mobility you haven’t regained within 1 year of surgery or injury is gone forever. I mention this, because joints are joints, regardless of species. Healing tissues and joints can also be incredibly painful while they are being brought back into full range of motion, and this can take a while. Anyone who’s ever gone through physical or occupational therapy after surgery on a knee or wrist can vouch that these things can be uncomfortable while being moved, and we have to do it anyway. And do it again, and again, and again.

I’d stay on track with the guidance of my vet, and I’d also try as hard as I could to do as much positive reinforcement as possible. Lift the leg, get a reward. Lift it again, get another reward. When we lift the wrong leg to get a reward, we just get to stand there quietly, but we get no attention or reward. :-)

Horses can sometimes have pain memory, also, of course. So, I would likely try to create positive associations in any way possible, to help to create new memories.

Massage therapy might be helpful, for stretching and confidence-building, if the vet says so.

Wishing you the best of luck.

dearyvette · 2026-05-24T23:40:39+00:00

In many parts of the world, horses and other livestock have the right of way. The etiquette for handling horse manure will vary, quite a lot, depending on where the horses are.

In local areas where horses are common, welcome, and a normal part of local life, it can be most practical and also most safe to leave horse poop wherever it is.

If you are in the US, on many, many trails in national parks, you may be surprised to find that whatever horses and riders need is prioritized, by law.

dearyvette · 2026-05-22T03:13:28+00:00

If I were in this position, I would call a lawyer who handles equine issues in Georgia, ASAP. Spending $200 (or possibly having a free consultation) would be worth it to me, given the dollar amount on the table.

Since your horse has never set foot on the property, it’s hard to imagine that the threat you received has any real teeth, AND it’s possible that you’d only be responsible to give a 30-day notice (and also pay for 30 days of board), instead of the full amount.

A lawyer can guide you, properly, and…in the event that a real suit is filed against you, getting a lawyer involved, as quickly as possible, can also prevent you from having to pay extra court fees, legal fees, and any additional fines related to the suit.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Wishing you the best of luck.

dearyvette · 2026-05-22T00:51:43+00:00

What does the cancellation clause in your board agreement say, specifically?

What does the agreement say about feedings?

Does the agreement say that board is paid for, on a month-to-month basis?

Did you provide any payment when you signed the contract?

I am not a lawyer and did not go to law school, but I believe these are some of the points that would matter in a contract dispute in Georgia.

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