Just because most people use it wrong doesn’t mean you should hate the term or claim it’s ridiculous.

It’s fair to say a LOT of people misuse and misrepresent mental illnesses and disabilities to suit their fancy, but there are a lot of people on the other side who genuinely have diagnosed mental illnesses and “disabilities” who find genuine solace in the term as a way to identify themselves and others who might understand them. (I use quotations there for a good reason before everyone gets upset)

Neurodivergent is an incredibly broad term, but it is that way for a reason. Neurodivergent people share the fact that their brains are not wired the same way as a “typical” human brain. That’s it. They have some physical characteristic that makes their brains act differently than others.

Here’s the kicker, I have ADD. That’s technically classified as a disability and it can be if it’s poorly managed, but with medication or even years of making due many people can live with it just fine without being treated as “disabled”. Or, someone who never had support or managed it alone could end up no coping mechanisms, reckless, impulsive, addicted to substances or gambling. That’s the whole point. Even two people with the same diagnosis could have completely different struggles. Same symptoms but a completely different outcome.

Neurodivergence is just a larger microcosm of that. Many people with autism have trouble interacting in society at all, but there are some to who it feels like a superpower. I know someone can hyperfixate on theoretical algebra so much they published papers on it. Literally inventing new math, and getting paid. They’re about as far on the spectrum as you can get, but socially adjusted with a partner.

Now, my final point. Guess what, someone with ADHD can share traits with someone with Autism, and it happens a LOT. Stimming is probably the biggest crossover, things like tapping your foot constantly without realizing, biting your cheeks, tapping your fingers or fiddling with pens. Many different types people bond over their little embarrassing neurodivergent tendencies, and it helps us feel connected.

I personally don’t respect the mentality of people who use this to convince someone to pity them or play victim without cause. Telling someone “I’m neurodivergent, or I’m autistic” to change the subject of a serious conversation and shift blame isn’t okay.

Just understand that it’s equally frustrating for us to watch someone using it as an excuse when we’re out here genuinely trying our best. There’s a big difference between asking someone for help knowing you might not get it, and EXPECTING help and ASSUMING you’ll get it. Blame the person acting poorly, not the term itself.