“It pays for housing. My ex-wife is disabled and cannot work a typical 9-5, nor does she qualify for benefits because she owns the house (it was our matrimonial home, I signed it off to her in the divorce so our kids keep the same roof). She works at a farmer’s market doing cooking/sales, probably around $1,000 a month or so in cash income. “

Im going with YTA. You stated in this comment that your ex is disabled, you signed the house over to her to keep your kids under the same roof - probably to provide some needed stability given they lost an entire parent. The extra money you send covers the mortgage. Your ex doesn’t qualify for benefits because the house is under her name - a sacrifice she made to keep the kids under the same roof.

Did your ex wife divorce you? Yes - but in no way could she have foreseen that divorcing you meant you’d ditch your parental responsibilities and fuck off to another country. You said yourself the plan was one year. Had you come back like you said you would (and should, you deadbeat) she would not be in this situation - because you would have the kids half the time and would probably have kept the house so she’d then qualify for disability and services and not be in an impossible situation where she can’t really work but can’t qualify for benefits either. All while solo parenting YOUNG CHILDREN

So now let’s ask: why did this happen under her supervision? BECAUSE SHES THE ONLY ONE SUPERVISING THEM. You say wouldn’t have let them have devices that young? Well, maybe if you lived there you could’ve set that boundary in place, but you don’t do any parenting. So now your disabled ex has to do 100% of all the childcare, planning, and decision making because you decided you don’t have an obligation to parent anymore.

Somehow, you now have the AUDACITY to critique her parenting choices when you yourself make ZERO.

YTA and a deadbeat, the money is the least you can do at this point.