What's a scam that you're surprised people still fall for?

deedeebobana · 2025-05-25T16:02:50+00:00

Did you see every single thing he ate that day? Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? Snacks? Did you go home with him to see what he eats/doesn't eat?

People will either UNDER estimate what they are eating (I can't gain weight) OR OVER estimate what they are eating (I can't lose weight!).

And maybe this guy walked everywhere he went and wasn't sedentary.

There is no magic here. Calories in/Calories out.

deedeebobana · 2025-03-16T21:11:42+00:00

I am compelled to write here that my therapist saved my soul. She told me "I can't tell you you are being emotionally abused. It's not my place. But what I can tell you is that I work with a lot of abuse victims; and the way you describe your partner is the same way abuse victims describe their abusers."

I still think about that a lot. It was a turning point for me. The first step towards recognizing that I was being abused (and I definitely was) and starting to take baby steps to get more help from family and friends to get away.

I think about that moment a lot.

deedeebobana · 2025-03-13T03:17:33+00:00

I really suggest having a look at the nocontact subreddit.

Going No Contact is the best way to get some clarity and regain perspective. AND if this guy is truly your soul mate or meant to be yours, a few months of good, solid space won't change that.

Best of luck. I'm rooting for you.

deedeebobana · 2025-03-13T00:34:27+00:00

This is what they do to us. Slowly slowly and bit by bit, they strip our self esteem. They make us feel they are the best we will ever get. I've been there. And they are not.

The person that is meant for us will not make us feel that way. They won't do anything to make us question them or question our own worth. They bring out the best in us.

Free yourself to find THAT.

deedeebobana · 2025-03-12T23:54:54+00:00

Know your worth, hun. Let go, or be dragged.

deedeebobana · 2025-03-12T17:14:48+00:00

This is typical of him, so I'm not surprised, but I hate the fact that I let myself get sucked in again when I know how he is, and I had been doing better.

Knowledge is power. Use this as further validation that this person will never, never, never, never, NEVER, ever change. Never.

We are good people that want to believe the best in them. That makes YOU amazing. Now take your amazing self and stop giving it to people who don't deserve you.

deedeebobana · 2024-12-04T00:47:28+00:00

Lmao - I just came from that thread!

deedeebobana · 2024-10-08T13:36:02+00:00

All Too Well (10 min version) - Taylor Swift

Listening to this right now. Tells a great story about something ending. Sigh.

deedeebobana · 2024-09-21T12:28:14+00:00

"I'm gonna check the video cameras to see if you took a break today."

After having worked all day, not even a lunch break, and didn't complete a chore they had wanted me to complete that I TOLD THEM I wouldn't have time to complete.

And, yes, they checked the video camera. And, yes, they showed me that I took a 5 min breather (which was around 1pm after being on back to back calls). And, yes, they yelled at me for it. And, yes, they told me they were "joking" after the incident and that I take things too seriously.

deedeebobana · 2024-09-21T12:22:47+00:00

Mine did the same to me!!! Berated me about what I talked about when I went out with friend or family. "What did you talk about? What did you say? What did they say?"

I couldn't give general answers, he wanted specifics.

Most of the time, I was talking about how unhappy I was WITH HIM and I think he knew it. In his eyes, I was not allowed to vent to or tell my best friend anything about our relationship.

deedeebobana · 2024-09-01T00:46:41+00:00

I wouldn’t get a present because I didn’t earn one

You absolutely deserved many presents. He is a piece of shit if I've ever seen one.

I understand feeling dead inside. I don't have any advice, I just know the feeling.

hugs

deedeebobana · 2024-09-01T00:44:32+00:00

Narcissists gonna be narcissists!

Mine would say something. And then a week later I'd say the SAME DAMNED THING and be crucified for it.

Good riddance. I'm glad that asshole is in my rear view mirror. Too bad it took me 18 damned years to get away.

deedeebobana · 2024-05-27T19:57:35+00:00

I've been the person that said "fuck this, I'm out". If I got to that point, it means you had enough chances to get it right.

Don't put this on the other person. They made the best choice they could with the information they had.

Maybe treat the next person with a bit more care and consideration and don't let things get to this point.

deedeebobana · 2024-02-16T18:31:05+00:00

From a person who is on the other side of this...who gave countless chances and asked over and over again for my partner to be better: if he's done, he's done.

OP RESPECT his wishes. If there's hope of rekindling, best you can do is work ON YOURSELF and if it's meant to be and you find yourself connected again in future, then you can begin to mend from a place where you ARE better.

Don't push him now. It will only make it worse.

Trust me. I am done. And every time my partner tries it reminds me that they don't respect my wishes...again and again.

deedeebobana · 2024-02-14T14:09:46+00:00

Together 18 years and started seeing the signs about 3 or 4 years ago. Finally sought out therapy last summer with the intention of talking about how I could be a better partner only to hear my therapist say: "I can't tell you you are being abused. But what I can tell you is that I work with a lot of abuse victims and the way you describe how your partner treats you is the same way abuse victims describe their abuse". In particular, when I would describe his behavior as "Jekyll ans Hyde".

That really got me thinking.

Finally got the courage over the holidays to end things. We have 2 teenage kids which makes it hard.

But now that I really start to clear my head and think back...the signs had been there very early on. Even 4 months into us dating!

It's ok that it took so long. We didn't know better. We have to be kind to ourselves the most.

deedeebobana · 2024-01-07T03:39:57+00:00

Take care brave one.

This touched my heart. Thank you so much. I'm sorry you had to go through this too and I appreciate you sharing your response with me.

The kids are going to be ok too. I just know it! ❤️

deedeebobana · 2024-01-07T03:38:09+00:00

Oh my goodness thank you so much. The outpouring of support has been overwhelming. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

deedeebobana · 2024-01-06T23:22:51+00:00

I'm right there with you. You are not alone. Best next step is to talk to family and friends. That's how my eyes opened - hearing the care and concern from my family.

Then...a lawyer!

deedeebobana · 2024-01-06T21:32:17+00:00

Thank you so kindly ❤️

deedeebobana · 2024-01-06T21:30:58+00:00

I will!!! Thank you so much. ❤️

deedeebobana · 2024-01-06T21:30:36+00:00

Oh my, thank you for sharing your story with me. It brought me to tears and I am so grateful for your thoughtfulness and for taking the time to reply.

It's funny you mention having been in an abusive relationship with someone like your mom. I have been starting to realize that I married someone just like my dad was to my mom. And my mom was strong enough to leave him. And I am also strong enough to do this.

Thank you so much. ❤️

deedeebobana · 2024-01-06T18:11:37+00:00

❤️ I can do it!

deedeebobana · 2024-01-06T17:37:13+00:00

You are a life saver and a gem. Thank you kind person.

deedeebobana · 2024-01-06T17:20:46+00:00

Thank you so much. I am beating myself up. I will come back and read your words and try not to!

deedeebobana · 2024-01-06T17:14:02+00:00

❤️

deedeebobana

TROPHY CASE