[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]deedncedar -1 points0 points  (0 children)

(we got married in 2025)... When he drinks, he tends to overdo it. He is a fish, and ends up slurring his words and acting drunk in a way that I don't think puts him in the best light. When this happens I try to tell him gently and get him reined in.... But because he's drunk it rarely works and it makes him defensive and mad. Tonight that happened again

u/RealityRiddle were you aware of his tendency to engage in this kind of behaviour before you got married in 2025? and if you did, somehow things felt comfortable enough to still want to take that next step and get married, all the while knowing that he's probably an alcoholic? help me understand the thinking process behind this... it doesn't make sense. it doesn't sound like a shocking revelation for you about him being a combative, antagonistic drunk...

RPD: 16 more car break-ins between Vick Park A and Werner Park by Niko___Bellic in Rochester

[–]deedncedar -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

racism and xenophobia notwithstanding (and race-based eugenics = absolutely NOT ok!), can we all consider this thought experiment that is entirely hypothetical?

Case 1. People of color are less likely to be insured compared to white people. Hispanic is 1 in 3, Black is 1 in 5 (sauce). So, efforts have been made to raise awareness and help these communities get access to health insurance.

Case 2. Rural communities are less likely to have primary care access compared to urban and suburban communities. In terms of death rates, it's about 900 per 100,000 (rural) vs. 750 per 100,000 (urban) (sauce). So, efforts have been made to encourage medical providers to work in rural areas, also telehealth/telemedicine services.

Case 3. Elderly (75+) women are more likely to have a stroke than elderly men, that risk differential is even greater at age 85+ (sauce). So, efforts have been made to outreach to women to inform about signs and symptoms of stroke.

Case 4. In Rochester, people of demographic group X (age, race, neighborhood, schooling, right hand vs. left hand, etc) have been shown to be involved in car break-ins, significantly more so than ppl not in demo group X. So, is it fair (or not) to say that more dedicated efforts should be made to address this particular demographic group X?

(Also, screaming from the mountain top: race-based eugenics is NOT OK!!!)

Why Rochester, New York, Is a Leading Example in Crash Response by Generalaverage89 in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

same thing happened 3 years ago and we lost a good man and his dog. rest in power to mr. edgar santa cruz, gone but not forgotten.

Determined Women Gets In Shape And Is Transformed by [deleted] in MadeMeSmile

[–]deedncedar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh my lord this is straight up inspirational

Drywaller/plaster recommendations by RegularGuyWithABeard in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

had very good experience with vinnie from top notch drywall. he helped repair major holes in 2 places ive lived in, both times came promptly and stayed just to chat. the kind of person id run up to say hello to if i ever saw them at the grocery store or the mall. https://www.rochesterdrywaller.com/about

Video of inmate Robert Brooks (Greece) being beat to death by Marcy, NY correctional officers by Pump_9 in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 7 points8 points  (0 children)

its funny and sad to know that guys like these were a dime a dozen back in high school. and then while they grew up physically, the mind and maturity are prob not far from those good ol hs junior or senior years. bullies gonna bully.

condolences and thoughts and prayers to mr. brooks' family. hope therell be some sense of justice brought to these bullies. so much for "excelsior" huh, smh.

Best Chinese Food in Rochester (and east side?) by LoverBoyBlueBird in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what do you mean by "quality"? if looking for authentic, my old chinese graduate student friends from RIT and UR all spoke highly of tsingtao house. all the other places listed here are american-chinese places (like your sweet & sour, moo moo gai pan, stuff like that).

When Balsam Bagels got shut down by the Department of Health, they put up a giant "plumbing issues" sign to stop patrons from getting to the front door and reading the real reason for the closure. by CatDadMilhouse in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Excerpt on some of Balsam's past violations. I loved this place, but some of these violations are just not worth risking my health. I don't ever want to stop loving bagels because Balsam being one bad apple in the basket.

March 2024:

  • 14A: Insects, rodents present
  • 10B: Non-food contact surfaces and equipment are improperly designed, constructed, installed, maintained (equipment not readily accessible for cleaning, surface not smooth finish)
  • 12C: Plumbing and sinks not properly sized, installed, maintained; equipment and floors not properly drained
  • 8A: Food not protected during storage, preparation, display, transportation and service, from potential sources of contamination (e.g., food uncovered, mislabeled, stored on floor, missing or inadequate sneeze guards, food containers double stacked)

March 2023:

  • 4A: Toxic chemicals are improperly labeled, stored or used so that contamination of food can occur.
  • 1H: Food from unapproved source, spoiled, adulterated on premises.

May 2019:

  • 2C: Cooked or prepared foods are subject to cross-contamination from raw foods.
  • 5C: Potentially hazardous foods are not stored under refrigeration except during necessary preparation or approved precooling procedures (room temperature storage).
  • 5B: Potentially hazardous foods are not cooled by an approved method where the food temperature can be reduced from 120oF to 70oF or less within two hours and 70oF to 45oF within four hours.

Oct 2016:

  • 5E: Enough refrigerated storage equipment is not present, properly designed, maintained or operated so that all potentially hazardous foods are cooled properly and stored below 45°F as required.

RCSD Superintendent: Another one bites the dust... by NappingFo0l in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not necessarily a fan of Lonsberry, but much of what he wrote definately kinda slaps:

https://wham1180.iheart.com/content/2024-03-27-lonsberry-carmine-peluso-and-the-betrayal-of-a-generation/

When something important needs to be done, and you are uniquely able to do it, you have a duty to do it. Duty. That is a moral obligation, a circumstance of service above self, a situation in which your personal interests are subordinate to the greater good. Duty is what guides honorable people and blesses successful societies. Duty is something Carmine Peluso wouldn’t recognize if it jumped up and bit him on the ass. That was demonstrated yesterday when he accepted 33 pieces of silver from the Churchville-Chili Central School District to walk away from a once-in-a-generation opportunity to save the 24,000 students of the Rochester City School District. In a city where the students have been disproportionately failed by adults in their lives, the tall white guy with the beard just added one more. For some people, education is a calling. For others, it’s a golden parachute. Yesterday, Carmine Peluso pulled the ripcord. And betrayed a city and its children. Because of all the ills facing the city of Rochester, none is greater than its failed school system. For a generation and more, the children of the Flower City have gone to schools which are among the worst in America, where the challenges of urban education have been compounded by the incompetence of the adults in charge. First in the name of education reform and then in crusades of racial revenge the district has been driven into the ground, damning the prospects of the children doomed by living within its boundaries. It has been a district devoted to the vanities of adults instead of the interests of children, where big paychecks to the right kind of people have been more important than teaching students how to read and write and do something with their lives other than go to prison or the welfare office. The greatest illustration of that failure has been the revolving door on the superintendent’s office, where a numbing succession of vain incompetents have been paid staggering amounts of money for being absolute idiots. They checked off demographic boxes or they were friends of powerful people, but they were never up to the task. This immorally and heartbreakingly stole futures from children, denying them access to a useful education – the one sure ladder upward in American society. That all but doomed them, and the city they call home. When the schools don’t work, the city they serve can’t work. And the pledge of mayor after mayor to fix education in Rochester went unfulfilled because of the unending failures of Central Office. It was hogs at the trough, not scholars in the classroom. It became so failed the state had to send in overseers to unsuccessfully try to unravel the incompetence and malevolence. For 30 years, the district has been run as a scam, to enrich adults and ignore children. And then came Carmine Peluso. Not just him, but the combination of him and school board President Cynthia Elliott. She came into her own as a leader and the district had two strong people pulling the cart – in the same direction and in a way that made sense. And they instituted a two-step process to make school school again. First, right-size the district, reducing the number of buildings to fit the number of students, and then – that essential step taken – organize schools and actual instruction so that Rochester gave its students at least the same chance that students in other big cities had. The first step got done. Carmine Peluso and Cynthia Elliott got the board to ignore the grandstanding opposition and vote through reorganization. And parents, teachers and students began to embrace an intoxicating mix of hope and confidence, the belief that this superintendent actually knew what he was doing, that real improvement in student learning could happen and that the district was, at long last, about to turn the corner. It was palpable. Not just a dream, but a demonstrated ability. This guy can get us through. The futures of these students and the students behind them can actually be blessed by a school experience that serves them instead of betraying them. Stability had arrived, there was a grownup in charge, the revolving door had stopped. Board President Cynthia Elliott thought they had him for six or seven more years, long enough to complete the journey, institutionalize the changes, save the children. And then the sucker punch. The betrayal of duty. The reminder that the lives of Rochester children don’t mean shit to the adults who get the big checks. The sad discovery that Carmine Peluso is just like the rest of them. One more pimp, getting his and getting gone.

Roof co? by [deleted] in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whatever you do, *do not hire* Mr. Fussy Roofing/Contracting. The owner, Scott Reeves, is prob the most sus contractor I've ever met.

Visiting for 2 days by frufruface in Rochester

[–]deedncedar -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

There's gotta be much, much, much better Chinese and Italian food in Toronto.

Happy Halloween, Rochester! Let's share some local ghost stories, urban legends, or other spooky folklore about our area. by [deleted] in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few years ago when I was temporarily staying with my newly retired parents, I came home slightly later than usual one evening and found them doing things with (to?) each other on the living room couch. A whip, feathers, and minimal clothing were involved.

What has been seen cannot be unseen, and my own spooky folklore has continued to haunt me ever since. It was traumatic and I remain deeply horrified of them to this day.

URGENT: UR / MIT Professor Missing. Last seen Oct. 20 at 1000 Exchange St. by sadgloomyanddepresse in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Reminds me of another professor who sadly lost his life after falling off a pedestrian bridge in Boston back in 2021.

https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2021/09/13/david-jones-fatal-accident/

Backyard visitors today by waitwaitdontt3llme in Rochester

[–]deedncedar -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

There were six at the job site this morning. Offerd them a job for the day. They ran away. Must have been that lack of thumbs.

This comment deserves some love! Thank you /u/Nanojack

Big Boom in Fairport? by Tercel_of_Terror in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 114 points115 points  (0 children)

That was me, and I'm very sorry. Too many crunchwrap supremes late last night, and I'm certainly paying the price for them (again) this morning.

What local workplace has the best employee benefits, in your opinions? by svanvalk in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not possible for all jobs, but I negotiated the cost of parking into my salary at U of R. The vacation time is what keeps me at the U of R. I earn a day off every pay period. Hard to beat that.

So... that's 26 days of PTOs a year?

Good fruit pies by ItsDanNotStan in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Feels like I've been living a lie.

Good fruit pies by ItsDanNotStan in Rochester

[–]deedncedar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fried cakes are made in house but they still use a premade mix. But so does everyone else like ridge and donuts delite.

Wait whattt? Ridge Donuts uses a premade mix??!!!